Good luck, Mac!Read More...

It's lovely, Monte. Thank you for sharing.Read More...

SG, Awesome article and it very much described what happened in my marital therapy. Thanks for posting that. And may I join Jones in saying I've missed you? Nice to see you around the place! AGRead More...

Hi Da Rock I posted a reply earlier on this thread and it seems to have disappeared, i don't know if i posted it on the wrong thread and if it is going to turn up obscurely in some other discussion.. I can't remember exactly what i said but firstly i am sorry about your uncle and that you are having to say goodbye to both him and your grandma at the same time. I guess what i am trying to say is that the only person who can really know if your T is helping or harming you, is you. And i...Read More...

Thanks, Starfish. I've gotten so few memories back, and the experience seems to change each time. The first memories came back more than a year ago - one I had always remembered but just forgot, and the other was one that I had never recalled until then. They came one right after another, although they were separated by about 10 years and didn't seem to really relate to each other. I didn't have any emotions with them right off the bat, but the more I thought about each memory, the more I...Read More...

I found that actually it did not take THAT long to feel like my P knew quite a lot about me, I thought before that it would take ages for him to know as much as my ex C knew in the 17 months I had worked for her, but we just leapt in and got on with it and I am about session 14 and he seems to be in much deeper than she ever went. It has helped me getting a whole new perspective, and being with a new person brought more stuff up too somehow.Read More...

tn, thanks. your words mean alot. you hit some good points. yes, i do not feel contained. what i like most is what you said: "I find that I don't have to wonder what he is thinking about anything because he TELLS me and that answers my doubts and I can feel held and contained until I see him again. This is really GOOD." tn this is really good, so you don't have to wonder. i have to ask, and i can, but i feel so silly...'what do you think of me'...too, it is a trick question, what is she...Read More...

Just wanted to say thanks to both jill and Jones. Your posts are such good food for thought. My thought patterns are like yours, jill. Your post, Jones, was very insightful and helpful. Thanks to you both. Holding OnRead More...

DF, Thanks for the excellent advice. I am actually hoping to do something adventurous this year. I love the idea of the zip line thing. A friend of mine is currently in Laos where he's staying at a place where you stay in a treehouse like 50 feet above the jungle and zip line all over the place. I'd love to do something like that. Jones, This is so, so true. It IS like a Kafka story, or like some feedback loop that I'm perpetuating myself without really being aware of it. I used to meditate,...Read More...

Hi Bluesky, welcome. I wrote a response yesterday but lost it - will try again. I think AG is right on here. I also believe that your T may have let *you* hug *her* rather than taking it over with her own hug, precisely so you could feel your own warmth and lovingness, and feel it be safe. She invited your hug, she held your hand through it, she welcomed it. She didn't recoil or flinch away. If it didn't feel nice to her, you would have felt that in her posture and her muscle tension -...Read More...

Hi Janedoe, Not sure if I've felt like that after a session but definitely have felt that way after a really stressful, emotional experience. Glad to hear that you've done some hard work.Read More...

uv, as always, good stuff. very interesting. i copied several passages and pasted to an email i am going to send my t prior to each session, the day before, she invited this, not that she really reads it then, but, i think, as to get it off of my chest so i can sleep well. this empathy is something i struggle with with her, and altho i have not thought of myself as narcissistic, i do identify with alot in this article, namely, the reliance of others to reflect my worth. i think that aspect...Read More...

awwww thanks TN.Read More...

AG, thank you for sharing your stories with me. It was very helpful. One of the many things that I find difficult about therapy is accepting that it's okay to talk about the many things that it wasn't okay to talk about in my FOO. Sometimes I just get stuck in that panic mode and I don't think straight. I have to learn to calm myself down and stand back. It is really comforting to know that you went through some of the same things that I'm going through now. UV, thank you so much for your...Read More...

you know, it is ME putting so much emphasis on HER caring. come on, jill. she is not mommy, she can't make up for that, she can't cross boundaries that i am sure, although i don't like them, are for my own good. no, she is not perfect, but, jill. let her help. quit fighting her, quit faulting her for not being exactly what you want. cross that bridge, jill. come on over. let her help you, take it for what it is. agh! y'no, she made me write my goals in life, or values, i forgot how she put...Read More...

thank you butterfly! that's life i guess, things never turn out as you plan / hope for, but its not all bad and I don't regret my decision (most of the time). i'll just see how i go from here and try and look after myself. yes, it's so unfair that unprofessional people like this are qualified and work in this profession and they sometimes do more damage than good. maybe her job was to put off a lot of people because they get a lot of calls? I think i disliked her attitude from the beginning...Read More...

hi liese, i mean no worries to daggers because daggers felt bad for confusing me.Read More...

nooooooooo totally not! I was happy to think that my reaction might actually be okay... despite the way my T is treating me. I mean cus i thought/and still think that i'm just weak and needy and childish. but i kinda think just based on attachment theory that this is right? i dont know!! My T definitely doesn’t think it is! well thats not explaining it well either but whateverRead More...

I know, exactly what I am going to talk to my T about on Tuesday. I would like to hear your favorite passages. I think the only reason why I'm not having a mental breakdown while reading this book is I'm trying to stay in a very analytical and logical state, at least till Tuesday because I need to be able to communicate to him clearly and logically for at least the first part of the session to clear up any miscommunications. My HOPE is that we can talk clearly left brain to left brain on...Read More...

This is an interesting thread and I'm glad I found it. For a while, I assumed the way my T was (when I cried) was 'normal' and as time passed and I saw other T's, I realized it wasn't ... however it was very much what I needed at that time - and still often need/want. One of my T's, the current one, will just sit with me while I cry. She won't say anything until I'm done talking ... she'll pass me a tissue if I'm not close to one, etc. However my last T, the one I was talking about above -...Read More...

Frog, I a glad that your session with T went so well. I thought it was so interesting what wrote about not wanting to come out of the transference. Can you say more about that, what you mean, etc.?Read More...

Hi Rock Ah yes, my zigzagging logic often needs extra explanation. I am actually saying none of the above. What i am saying is that if your struggle with your T matches the troubles you are having in other areas of your life and IF you can find a way to get past the surface discomfort / conflicts with her and work on the underlying pattern of struggling to trust, it could be very beneficial for you. You are already struggling to trust her and feeling manipulated so it is all there, in the...Read More...

Thank you , Jones, Draggers, Morgs, starfish, Blanket Girl, AG, and Da Rock. I appreciate such a warm reception. Yes, Da Rock, I finally got the message my back was trying to clue me in on! Although I'm sure I could go the SSI route I just can't see myself going that road.. Events that have led me here have taken their toll on me and I feel compelled to tell my story. I'm thinking maybe go backwards and out of synch... As a kid I didn't have a father around to provide any type of guidance...Read More...

Hi Incognito, All I can say is that your last post was so emotionally vulnerable and beautiful and real to me that tears were streaming down my cheeks as I was reading it. I particularly related to your desire to connect with him and prevent it from burning him out. I too have been feeling that same way with my T. I have been seeing him twice a week lately. But often times I just wish I could touch base with him every day in some kind of small way. I'm overwhelmed by my need to be so near to...Read More...