Hi Halo I've had ECT before on two separate ocassions. I initially had uni-lateral ECT before moving to bilateral when I still wasn't feeling better. For me, I never had great results in 4 sessions. I generally had 10-12 sessions. As the sessions progressed, it was - for me -like the light was being switched back on in my brain. Initially this feeling didn't last long, maybe 1/2 day, but as treatment progressed, I found the good feelings lasted/held longer. I hope this is of some help. I'm OKRead More...

I love it! great site! thanks for postingRead More...

Wow, I totally thought I was the only one dealing with a T or shall I say DR. who was so hurtful and abusive. My T sent me a termination letter in the mail, she wont give me my files after I signed a release, she said I have DID and I asked her why she would blurt that out like that and why she made that assistment...no answer...she left me confused, embaressed, sick, sad and depressed..so depressed that I can't run my Bistro. I asked her if my friend can pick up my file..she said quote "you...Read More...

Hals - thank you for telling us about your sadness by starting this thread. What a great idea, not to be alone in it! I've been doing lots of crying lately myself so this is very timely for me. As many people have mentioned, the holidays are just really hard on the emotions for so many reasons (and that flippin' song, "Another Auld Lang Syne", always comes on the radio so much this time of year...makes me bawl my eyes out every time). But at the same time, as I'm in therapy longer with a T...Read More...

Great work PF! I'm so pleased to hear how well your session turned out and that taking that risk paid off. Good for you!Read More...

Frog, So sorry I haven't replied sooner. You've had some really good and helpful replies here. I'm glad you were able to talk with your T about the vacation and that your last session left you feeling so warm and fuzzy. That is so important going into the break. Please know that we will be here during the break and hope that it doesn't feel too long or unbearable. Very well done and brave of you!Read More...

Thank you Jones, for bringing your calm and acceptance to everyone here. It's very precious. And I agree with everything you said. There are no expectations. Everyone gives as they can, when they can. And asking for support is NOT just taking. There are so many people reading who never post and when you ask for support it may be about an issue that dozens of unseen people are struggling with, and the answers will also speak to them. You're being brave enough to reach out for support is a...Read More...

Hey JD, This is probably obvious or not that helpful but I get stressed out at airports and the thing that really helps me is to plan my schedule ahead so that I leave heaps of time for every step of the journey and don't have to rush. It helps me to know that if anything goes wrong I have time to figure it out, and I can take relaxation stops as I go. xxJonesRead More...

Sending you warm hugs Rio and hoping that you get some healing and be able to be kind and loving to yourself. It sounds hard for you right now especially when it is not a good time of year for you. thinking of youRead More...

Thank you DF!!! you are so sweet <3 Both of my T's are being really kind and encouraging me to take small steps. I'm leaving in less than a week to go to the town where I grew up and I want to cancel that flight so bad. 11 years, and I'm still not ready for this! It really is safe and fine and good for me to go. But I'm having having a hard time with the fact that it is stirring up 11 years of pain... Friends and two safe family members will be there (and all other family is on a "maybe"...Read More...

Hi AG, You are right I definitely wouldn’t tell someone who was struggling that it was their own fault. I have completely double standards and cannot offer myself the same empathy and understanding that I would naturally extend to others and I really hope I haven’t offended anyone with what I have written. No I am certainly not choosing to be sad...I really struggle with sharing my sadness though as it is not something I am used to sharing with anyone, therefore am feeling incredibly guilty...Read More...

Hi LadyGrey and welcome to the forum! I just wanted to say...I reeeeaaaalllly like how your T2 handled this. She sounds very professional and her plan going forward makes a TON of sense. Well done, working through this! I look forward to getting to know you better. Peace, SGRead More...

No, it's not crazy. To me it sounds like dissociated material surfacing and that makes it hard to know and understand where the feelings and urges are coming from. These things get split off and held separately and so they can seem so incongruent when they come up because the feelings don't match with the knowing.Read More...

Thanks, Starfish. Just a bit confused right now is all. Permafrost, don't think we've met yet, so welcome. No apologies necessary at all - feel free to post wherever and whenever you like. I understand the embarrassment, and I'm sorry you're stuck in that place. Just like the others have told me, I bet your T will respond with compassion and understanding whenever you do tell her, and she'll respect the reasons why you haven't told her yet. I didn't manage to own up to my T yesterday, partly...Read More...

Hello sweet Draggers It must be hard to now **own** your own, righteous anger Did you notice the word **righteous**?? I won't go on at the moment coz I really need to go back to bed but fwiw I totally agree with your lovely T when she wants you to sit with it and feel it and breathe through it You now have to learn to be gentle with yourself like you are with everyone else Love and hugs MorgsRead More...

On a slightly different note, tonight my T said something that I personally think is awesome. I was complaining about my situation, and about how I'm sick of feeling like I'm not getting anywhere in therapy, etc. In the course of making a point about a dream I had recently, and responding to my complaint, he kind of stunned me by saying, "You know, I know psychotherapy sucks. I know that. But, what it does do is help you see and feel the little clues and bits of information that will help...Read More...

June, I'm back and it is really hard to find the "right" card because it's hard to place a T or P in our life... they are not friend or family or romantic interest (or at least they are not supposed to be LOL). I settled for a beautifully hand decorated, unique card with a general Christmas sentiment in it. I also bought him a nice bookmark to put inside... for all the books he is yet to read. And it seems that he does like to read (as opposed to oldT) and this is a nice point of connection...Read More...

Wow, Jones...That's coming right up. I imagine you are sort of excited/nervous/dom't care something, but I wanted to send you loads of support as you prepare for the switch...may it be successful and leave you with a sense of sureness in yourself, that you have made the right decision. I too am hoping to hear how it goes, but totally understand if you can't post about it. Love, Bebe ps- Hi Froggy!Read More...

Sadly, I am glad you were able to get those feelings off of your chest and communicate with STeadyT. It sounds as though this was beneficial to you and that you were able to walk away from the session feeling better, even though you will not see her for two more weeks. Hang in there...the new year will be here before you know it.Read More...

HI LG, Just wanted to say hi also. I had a P in high school and thereafter. He was more of a friend. I didn't talk about deep issues with him. He would just do kind of college and career counseling with me. I just saw him recently after 20 years. I, too, wished I could go back and tell him how wonderful my life turned out but I couldn't either. Life is hard. I know there are a lot of people out there who think life is one big party but eventually the hardness, the loss, the pain of life will...Read More...

thanks blackbird. i'm not sure if i can talk about it though. i dunno if i do feel attached to her. it's weird. i feel like i should be by now but i don't think i do.. i feel bad about that. my next appointment is tomorrow morning. maybe we're not the best match. but there's nothing i can do about that. i hope i won't freeze up tomorrow. thanks for being so nice to me. Kashley, thanks for replying. i feel like i can relate to you a lot! yeah my t is for free. i dunno if i can afford to see...Read More...

I saw SteadyT and true to name, she kept steady. Before I even got there, FirstFinder, my dearly loved therapist of over 22 years ago emailed me: "PLEASE don't give up on this therapist." Now I really respect FirstFinder so there was no way I could end it with advice like that from her. She gave me no reasons - just said she was busy and would try and email me later on at the end of the week. So instead of going in and listing all my reasons for ending, I went in and just sat there a bit...Read More...

oh, my pleasure. I like exchanging music. one of my all-time favorite piano songs (Yann Tiersen; Amélie) another piano (and other instruments)track by Y.T. When I was a kid, I used to own one of those little pianos that plays during the next track. When I heard it on the soundtrack I went to look for my own little piano and tried to play the tune. . funny little piano sad piano piece (Y.T. of course) and the last one: simply beautiful I've never heard of Rob Costlow, but thank you so much...Read More...