thanks, DF...you are always so helpful and reassuring. thanks to everyone, each one of you who's helped me so much. Yes your descriptions of those terms really described them well for me. I think I felt a bit "grounded" this past session, but I do not think it was something my T did, to make me that way? Gosh, idk, I feel like I'm floating away and I just struggle as much as I can to come to some kind of connectedness to my T, in order not to feel that hellish place of abandonment. That's...Read More...

Frog, Thanks for letting us know! Good luck on your exams. I hope to see you back here soon.Read More...

Hey so impressed you've been looking up wombats They are kind of cute except if you *unavoidably* hit one - they're like brick walls Starfish - I've also sent a personal fairy dust sprinkle to Rio - how do I upload a bag onto this forum for each of you? Hi Permafrost - nice to meet you Gotta go, I'm at work Take gentle care of yourselves MorgsRead More...

Welcome to the forums LadyGrey!Read More...

I do this all the time, and it drives me crazy Liese. It is sooo hard to keep my thoughts together and follow them through, and it often leaves me with a really disturbed kind of helpless feeling. I know there is something that I need to say, something I badly need to talk about- but I don't know what it is! I can't "find"it. I don't know what to call it- but can I call it really annoying? grrr. hate it. BBRead More...

indeed! I'm thinking of the way my T says my name, nobdody ever said it that way before, except one other person. it's kind of indescribable. these are really sweet, thanks for posting it, JD...Read More...

Hey Mac, STRM, TN, Starfish, DF, BB, I can't thank all of you enough for your support. Sometimes I feel like a five year old asking for what I want. It's soo soo hard. I asked for the 2nd session this week - something I've never done. Geez, I just went from going every other week to every week just within the last month so to ask for a 2nd session in a week is really bold for me. T was kind of matter of fact yesterday. Sometimes he puts on the serious face, the one that conveys the "I care"...Read More...

Thank you for saying I am courageous for accepting my needs, that isn’t how it feels to me though. I agree with you, it is a therapists right to choose their mode of practice and contact policies and this does not define how they work as therapists or mean that they don’t care.. I think it is just the place I am in at the moment…which is that the only person I have ever felt really cared for was my last T so it would be hard with someone whose policies are so different. Saying that maybe I...Read More...

Hi, Wolfie...I'm so glad to see that you were able to tell your T and get so much reassurance from him about it...that is wonderful. Yes it makes very vulnerable feelings though doesn't it. It sounds like you have a good T who will respect and honor those feelings, though? Anyway, I just wanted tosay I like your posts. I hope it's still going well. BBRead More...

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Liese Hmmm, that must make it really hard, is there an element of self-doubt that goes hand in hand with that too? What would it take to trust in yourself? I mostly really trust myself(that's not the same as not beating myself up over things I do though! lol), but take time to trust others with my stuff in case they let me down again. I guess attachment can only happen after that...IDK, I suppose we're all different, shaped by our experiences maybe. starfishRead More...

Butterfly... oh no you did NOTHING insensitive at all and I'm sorry if I made you feel that way. I am happy for you and I hope things go well in the session. And yes I know you would use your magic wand to help me because that is the kind of person you are... a very good and caring person. I am still somewhat hopeful that I may one day find some peace with all of this. Thanks so much for your support. Hug TNRead More...

Hi Confuzzled Love your name. Welcome to the forum! I can really relate to everything you said. But I would just add, that even when I go in "knowing" what I want to talk about...for example, if I'm organized enough to bring notes that I wrote down earlier in the week when all the ideas were coming to me...very often we STILL end up talking about something totally different. My T is very psychodynamic and relational, so she really likes to find out how I'm feeling "right then". And even...Read More...

Yup, TN = smart cookie.Read More...

Oh, nooo! I noticed you weren't around quite as much lately, so thanks for letting us know! I'm glad it's for a good reason, but will miss you loads. Please come back when you can, Morgs! Love, giant hugs, BBRead More...

Thanks so much for the support, DF... hugs back, BBRead More...

DF, Sounds like all good stuff. The support you need is the support you need, right? If only we could all convince ourselves of that and allow it to happen and not bash ourselves for it.Read More...

You caught that, huh, MH? Those freudian slips!Read More...

***Parts of this post could be triggering*** Thanks Marsh - you don't need to have anything to help...thank you for letting me know you're thinking of me. That in itself helps, please don't doubt that. BB - I just want to make sure I'm understanding you right. I'm not quite sure I'm getting what you're saying here - sorry, my brain is not working to quickly right now. Are you saying that the knowledge that I can't feel freely is a cause of pain? If that is what you're saying, then yes, this...Read More...

I'd like to comment on your original post, but I'm afraid I don't understand. Are the feelings associated with the new therapist, or of past traumas, or of the old therapist? All I can say about the holiday is that it's just a day. You can make it what you want. I, too, hate this forced "you must celebrate this day in this way". Take Thanksgiving, for example. Who says we have to do give thanks then? Don't I know when to give thanks and when to dine with my family? Yeah, I do. Just take a...Read More...

Session three with steady T happened this afternoon, and last of the four next Monday. I think I shall continue with her, they are all happy that I have the THREE of them in place, they are fulfilling different functions and so it seems like they are 'my team'. I also feel more in power, like I have 'hired' two of them and that feels much easier than being told by them what and when and how I can see them and for how long. After Firstfinder, the C, I don;t EVER want to be in that powerless...Read More...

Hi Confuzzled, Welcome to the forums, I'm glad you decided to post. I love your username although I'll probably end up calling you fuzzy at some point. I just wanted you to know that I could have written this post. I've felt that way about authority figures my whole life. For me, it turned out to be me searching to get the love, care and nurture I should have had as a child and didn't. It was in working with and talking about these feelings for my therapist (and those oh so necessary but...Read More...

Dear AG - thank you SO much for putting words to elements of this that I was really struggling with. Thank you, thank you, thank you. xxxJRead More...

Take care Forlorn and we will be here when you are feeling better. If you need us we are here for you always. PGRead More...