ditto, i think i hear the flitter of her golden wings every now and then!! xxoo DF, jillRead More...

janedoe, may i say, you are quite profound!! this is a huge concept, not knowing where i begin and end, and another begins....what in an interaction 'says more about them than it does about me'. also, as frog says, what is coming from my past and is really not a part of the now, but, since, for me now, it is such a cloud, i can't quite decifer it all just yet. but, this is certainly a direction...owning what is mine and them owning what is theirs. my t told me that i tend to put myself in...Read More...

Hmmm… Well, I don’t know. It sounds like a nice gesture I think. He might have been thinking that the wine would make up for being on your case about drinking? In this situation all anyone can do is probably just make guesses. You could mention something like that you had a bit off the wine but you were careful not to drink too much because of the meds and see what he says? -MacRead More...

Sparkle- Good for you for talking to your T about it. I hope you get some relief from talking about it, but also don’t get too discouraged if you don’t solve everything in one sitting. For me ruptures sometimes take a few sessions (or even longer) to completely work out. We have the first initial talk which does make me feel a lot better, but then there is still a little hurt or worry left after that takes a few sessions to work its way out. The darkened trust that you talked about can take...Read More...

Hi Morgs!!! so glad you stayed! welcome! I would have said hi sooner but just go to reading this. sorry I missed your post - there is a lot here! please do keep posting! and so glad to meet you ~janeRead More...

Do you know what sucks most about this? It was SO nice to have my MOTHER for two months. Now, as she begins the cycle again, that closeness and connection is lost. It was so nice to finally experience her without the snarkiness, meanness, criticisms, and trauma. Now I am dreading the next few months which are filled with birthday "celebrations", "family" holidays and the biggest dread of all CHRISTMAS. Just when you thought there was peace in the land, you realize it was only a dream. I was...Read More...

What if her hands were tied? What if she WOULD help you for longer if she could? What if she HATED having to tell you that the surgery/doctors were pulling the plug on your help there as they thought you needed more specialised care and they forced her hand? What if she actually truly does understand how bad it is and cares deeply? What if she is as mad as hell at them pulling the plug and is trying to make it sound very reasonable as her defense mechanism? What if your anger and your rage...Read More...

yes it is anger at the fee, melba, i've put in one year one to two times a week at $125 to $150 an hour, most one and a half hour appointments, you do the math, i can't take it. i know it takes time, but geez, WHEN!?!?!?!?! and LL, glad you relate, i actually printed that out and wrote a few more thoughts and plan to read it next time, so t gets the jist of my frustration. and psychology?? sorry, but it is NOT a consumer friendly business, in my opinion. and in my experience. i have yet to...Read More...

Hi again everyone. Forgive me if any of my responses sound kind of distant or whatever. I feel like I'm in a very numb place right now. Honestly, it's time like these that I question who the person is that even posted this to begin with. JD, What you wrote is really helpful. I feel all of the same fears that you did. I'm not sure if I'm to the place where my fears that revolve around her not knowing are worse than the ones that revolve around her knowing. Just like you explained and your T...Read More...

Oh lizzygirl....I am so sorry that your husband said that. Please know that is his insecurities. You know, you can always change your mind and go back. I have experienced for many years a verbally abusive relationship. My T told me to remember as I get healthier, my husband was certainly not going to be doing handstands in the front yard celebrating. Remember that as you continue on your path of healing and health, especially if your husband is doing nothing, he will continue to try and pull...Read More...

LL I'm finding it relly hard to remember how to get back there...anybody else feel the same? Thanks for posting this thread...it's given me a starting point anyway starfishyRead More...

(((((Sheychen))))))) I am so sorry for the depth of pain you find yourself in. You really have been retraumatized. Once again someone you thought you could depend on, who said they would be there for you, no matter what, failed to go the distance. You took the terrible risk to open up and allow another to see your pain only to be rejected. It reinforces so many of our most forceful (and often most wrong) beliefs. Please hear as much as you can that the failure lies in your C's capacity to...Read More...

Jill You're very sweet. She doesn't refer to herself as Dr. LaCombe, so no one is used to referencing her that way. It would have thrown me too. If I find more information on this topic I'll keep you posted! KOIRead More...

AG, I agree with you. Lamplighter, that was some amazing insight you had into my 'stuff'! How did you do that??? I had this big long post typed up in response to you earlier today LL (because long is all I seem to know how to do ), and somehow my internet/cable connection was lost and when I hit "post now" it disappeared. Made me so mad. And of course I had spent so much time on it already I couldn't take more time to re-post so all was lost. I hate it when that happens--makes me super mad!Read More...

Thank you everyone for saying that you are not sorry when I post. That helped to hear. I just feel like I'm so depressed, bitter and useless that I should just stay away from OF. JD... thank you for all those kind words and thoughts about who I am. I'm not sure they are true but it's nice to hear. I'm not sure about the strength as I feel like I'm running on fumes these days... there is nothing left inside of me. Like I'm slowly fading away. I wish I could believe that my T didn't lie to me.Read More...

LL, as much as i WANT to think about therapy all the time...and i do...i try to do other things, because it makes me feel worse to obsess. one t, (there have been so many i forgot who) told me to put that energy into something constuctive, and as much as i HATE that kind of advise, secretly, i try to....but i will never give the t credit for it, if you know what i mean. mad four year old speaking. but, do something GOOD for YOU!! a manicure/pedicure...flowers for the house. get dressed...Read More...

Agreed! I'm off to bed starfishRead More...

...UV, that was a good question.. I have honestly no idea. i didnt bring up the book/sister thing..i know..i should`have. Just couldnt. too much other stuff that came up instead. If it is related to that, i might have made up that story in (defence) order to distract from that (too) dangerous topic. That might ver well be the case. I have to think about that. (thanks for remembering, btw! That was unexpected, in a very good way) and Deeplyrooted - Thanks for the long and personal response-...Read More...

Lizzygirl...all I have to say about recieving a gift from your therapist.....(imagine your best Napolean Dynomite voice/temperment).... Lucky HalsRead More...

Thank you for your kind words, AGRead More...

I know you have probably moved on from this now, but I also find ' no ' difficult from a T. I interpret as it meaning that they don't care, or do not love me enough. TO me it does feel like rejection and it was good in a way that you came to meet those feelings in a safe way with him, so that you can experience the whole play of it . I hope you worked it out with him adn gained useful insights.Read More...

What fantastic news, Holding On! I am really, really, happy for you.Read More...

Those are all great, UV. My favorite was the one that you added as your signature!Read More...

...could it be your T you`re angry at?? (when i find myself being angry- it often turns out to be my T. Not that i know why though..) I am sorry you`re in a tough place. Hope you find out with your T. and janedoe- dont fiht your anger. Fight with it! Its allot of constructive energy in that anger as well i bet!Read More...

Well, as you all know, she did not like what I told her and had is terminating my therapy with her.Read More...