That was very brave of you. I am really happy that you are able to feel her caring again ButterflyRead More...

BB, You're such a sweetheart! I know the possiblilty of my T reading is extremely slim, and I guess this would be the one time I wouldn't want her taking an interest in me. It is just my paranoia kicking in. It was a fear I had before I joined and almost stopped me. You're so called 'scary thread' is not throwing me off at all, in fact it is giving me comfort to hear I am not the only one that this worries. Also helps with the reality check I know about the kind of upset attachment causes oh...Read More...

Hi there Deepfried, great question! I`ll try to come up with a list in order to offor some support! (and i`ll like to join the refuge to work! ) so, here we go: Things getting in way of my healing/therapy: - Therapy-boomerangs (i dont know if thats even a word? - i mean stuff that seems to never be "closed down" but constantly seems to return and actualized over and over again..!) - General stress. - anxiety before session, heartbeats and nervousness the first 5 minuts of the session - My...Read More...

I think it's wonderful that you are able to ask your T to help you do this! Good for you, BG...but I am so sorry for the pain of your situation. You don't deserve to be treated so badly. Let us know how it goes... BBRead More...

Aw Frog thanks for my hugs - that means a lot to me. You know I reckon you're right on about not going into session with an agenda - I've found that the worst sessions I have are those where I've gone in with a headful of prepared things that I *must talk about* - for some reason that seems to upset the therapy - probably because I have preconceptions about how T is supposed to respond. And anyway, your attachment isn't going to run away and hide anytime soon is it? Plenty of time for you to...Read More...

forlorn, your list is truly beautiful, and i want all of those things, too, and i have asked the same question, and wonder, going into most appointments, what do i need this for??? i still ask it, i hate to trigger you by agreeing, but, i wonder it daily. i don't really have an answer, except for i know there is one thing preventing me from doing these things, and that is FEAR. fear of sadness, fear of risk, fear of letting anyone know the real me, fear of being excluded, fear of fear. i...Read More...

Thank you again so much, everyone. LLRead More...

((((( AG ))))) Makes you wonder why the good feelings can’t stay good doesn’t it? Why does pain and fear have to creep in to mar something beautiful? I suppose if you work on the premise that there are four prime emotions - joy, grief, anger and fear then it’s logical that we can only feel good 25% of the time. Wish it were that simple I think you’ve been doing amazingly well AG - you’re allowing yourself to feel what’s coming up for you, not running away from it, and you’re facing it square...Read More...

I’ve noticed that the view count isn’t actually one per view but more like 3 each time a thread is looked at. And if you’re actually posting, I’ve seen that it can be as much as up to 5 per post - depending on whether it’s your thread or someone elses. So in fact a number like 3000 isn’t 3000 actual views but probably more like half that number. Also the view count doesn’t automatically go up immediately, there seems to be a time lag (which makes it hard to work out exactly how many views it...Read More...

What to do with all those post-session feelings. My T allows me to email him. He jokes with me sometimes to allow him to get home before I shoot him an email. I may send him one that evening or the next day. He has not commtted to responding to ever email....a boundry he put in place, but If I dont hear from him it hurts. So there is a small downside of emailing. But the upside is major. I really feel supported 24/7. I can journal my thoughts about what we discussed in session. And he...Read More...

this doesn't sound too good...can you tell him all of this? Gosh, I think you need to...are you feeling brave enough to say it, Lizzygirl? BBRead More...

Hi SG - Sorry it's taken me so long to come back to this, and sorry to jump in again everyone else - I know the conversation has moved on a bit. It's a whole bunch of stuff, and I'm really undecided. I'm reluctant to go into too much detail because I'm worried about identifying myself. She's not suggested art work with me for ages, and often her art table is not out. We've just been talking, and I don't know what style... just kind of general reflective reasoning ("what does he need? what do...Read More...

Hi Morgs, Sweetie, I'm no spring chicken! I'm facing 50 squarely in the face so no worries about your age. And of course it's okay with us for you to be part of the community. It's strength lies in what each of us brings to this place and in our sharing it with each other. I'm really glad that you've taken the chance to step out into your discomfort and post. And btw, Shrimp on the barbie? NOTHING says Austrailia to me like that phrase. Thank you for being so supportive throughout this time.Read More...

Sheychen, I am really glad that you were able to feel 'heard' by the clincal psychologist and that you were able to gain some faith about the way you cope from it. It sounds like it was a really useful session and hopefully you will be able to gain some answers from the outcome. As for how your T will be on Wednesday I really don't know, but I do agree with the psychologist that you don't have to say everything at once, you can take your time. I really hope that you and yout T are able to...Read More...

I don't really know anything about processing trauma, DF...but I just wanted to offer my support. I know it must be really hard work, and I admire your resolve and courage to get through it...from what I read on here it is just slowly, slowly to deal with the memories bit by bit, like patiently untangling a bunch of tight knots, perhaps...idk. I am not brave to talk about my memories with my T, and mine aren't even *that bad* so I don't know how you do it. Be safe, be well... BeebsRead More...

STRMS That makes perfect sense, something that will help ground in today when everything inside feels like many yesterdays. Thank you everybody for your replies, they have really encouraged and helped me. This little starfish is taking a little break, off on holiday to find some warmer water to swim in and a little rest in the sunshine. Speak soon, starfishRead More...

STRM, Anyone can practice but they should have some pretty good marketing strategies and credibility. I went to see this counselor because he was working out of a reputable wellness center, his blurb on his orientation and experience seemed sound, and the first session was free. Then, after experiencing him, I was sold. He was extremely skilled and seemed utterly trustworthy.Read More...

Hi DF, I'm sorry that things are so tough right now, though I'm glad you were able to talk to your T. I don't have much that can probably be of any help to you...I guess I just wanted to say that I understanding how confusing, frustrating, and seemingly impossible it can be to think about things when you have so many different conflicting opinions about it all. I can also understand your fear of believing anything, because (I'm kind of guessing here..tell me if I'm wrong) you fear that...Read More...

Hi Janedoe, One thing I've learned from being around horses for so long is that you learn SO much about a person by watching how they interact with their horses. Seeing their sensitivity and responsiveness to a horse seems like one of the best gauges of the type of person they truly are, because you can't fake that around a horse. I think you'll continue to heal so much from equine-assisted therapy because it's almost as if you get to observe, first-hand, a therapy session where you can see...Read More...

Thanks Shrinklady! I've gained so much from this site - I'd be glad to donate to help cover the costs. Thanks for shouldering the expense for so long. I dunno where I would have ended up if it wasn't for running across this site, and this community!Read More...

(((Starfish)))...thank you for the care and support...xx Lamplighter! It's so good to see you! I'm going to have to go and chaeck out what's been going on for you, since I haven't seen any posts yet. Hopeing all is well with you...thanks you for the words of support. LL, I know that continuous and regular sessions would help move things along. I'm really going to try to ask for that. It's so hard when I honestly and with every fibre of my being feel that he wants me the heck out of his life...Read More...

hals I'm glad you are feeling stronger,that's good to hear. Sending hugs and thoughts your way to help keep that feeling a little longer. starfishRead More...

sounds like we are in the same boat, Forlorn. I hope my T and I can mend it. i felt abused, she was full of how awful she felt about what I was saying and not actually hearing me cos she was talking non stop. It was awful. i am trying to live each day as though it did not happen as it would be too painful to really be living with it. I also hate the feeling that *I* have to make amends and that she could have left me a message saying 'sorry I lost it.'Read More...

I like that quote, LL. If only we can stay rational and composed at the same time. deeplyrootedRead More...

BG, You are obviously a righteous woman, because your prayers were VERY effective. Thank you! AGRead More...