janedoe, good wishes to you on this trip. this will be something good for you to 'accomplish' and i can so relate to the panic of unimportant things...socks...kind of like your brain protecting itself over all the bigger issues. and that long without seeing your father is a biggie. i guess, my advise? keep your eye on the prize...getting through to the other side, and the view from there. i know i just let down a major wall with my parents for unreleated (to my therapy) reasons...dad's...Read More...

seablue, Sorry I'm a bit late in responding to your post re your successful session. Am so pleased that you were able to talkabout it and she could clarify things for you. And yes, I do believe you WILL know when is the right time to leave, it feels so unsettling now because it is NOT the right time. Our Ts have a duty of care to not keep us in therapy for longer than we need I guess, so the occassional reminder of 'life after therapy' is important BUT shouldn't be done in a way as to freak...Read More...

Jill, I didn't take it as an insult and I understood where you were coming from. I just wanted to add that for me that it has never felt that way, but I suppose had it been offered too soon then I would have felt like it was a "paid" gesture or been very suspicious of her motives for sure! I hope that you find what you are looking for in a T. That last T sounds like she was a mess!Read More...

Just a quick note to thank all of you on here for your support and kindness and encouragement. Thank you for listening to me go through this difficult time. I would be in way worse shape without all of you. My session tonight was worse than I could have imagined it would be. We barely spoke of the surgery and aside from some small talk everything that went on in there just made me feel sick. I tried to talk about attachment and why I felt that we were struggling lately. I showed him SG's...Read More...

((((((FOT)))))) I am sorry for the loss of your friend. I'm so glad to hear that you were able to be with others who knew her too. I totally agree that we never "get over" losing someone, but that we adjust to living "without" them, and it is really hard. But much harder it is, when it is not talked about...like your family of "clams" . I have had the experience of laughing...through tears of grief...with people who also knew someone I knew who had died. It doesn't make the grief disappear...Read More...

Congratulations janedoe, it's brill that you went for it despite it feeling out of reach. Well done! S XRead More...

ok, my first dream interpretation. i won't bore you with the details, but NEVER have i remembered a dream. and i did this am, about the pa guy i talked to (as mom) and he was uncaring, detached, preoccupied as my mom was. i wrote it all down. so much was a mirror, and easy even for me to interpret,anyway, i am intrigued, and may go this way for awhile. still pondering, but, hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....my unconsciuos has a lot to say. jillRead More...

no, you sound healthy. i got a double dose of guilt plus some growing up...guilt and obligation were my mom's favorite tools to keep me in line. i've learned something too, maybe harmless banter with no goal in mind is ok? i don't know. harmless banter, in my single days with a man, lead to sex. and i liked it that way. mmmmmm jillRead More...

I guess I figure the whole dynamic would be weird to her. This girl who loves her T like a mommy, but daydreams about kissing her. Yeah... So the dream I worried she would see as sick. BUT... I shared it with her. I printed it out and let her read it last session. We talked about it a little. Then I couldn't deal with discussing the daydream piece so we moved on. But I was very relieved she didn't appear grossed out. whew!Read More...

Russ - thank you for posting this, it's very apt for me at the moment as I too miss my parents, yet at the same time am having huge trouble even trying to connect with them (especially my mother) on anything but a superficial level. I've never really had a proper father daughter relationship with my dad, as he left when I was two and the relationship has been one of bieng in touch and losing touch (down to me, when I couldn't cope with the drama and strain). My mother - hmm, where to start.Read More...

Dragonfly, thanks very much for your suggestion - I am seeing my T today so will try it out (if I remember that is - I am really bad at remembering things when I'm there!) LOL! S xRead More...

K, Sounds like you've got some defenses in place or something. Some self-protective mode you're in and you're aware of it this time. I don't know, I could be wrong. Sorry you're still struggling, girl. Time always seems to drag on when we want it to hurry up and fly by. Hang in there, K. You've done a good job so far! MTFRead More...

All I want to know is: how did you do that? I don't know if my T is giving me love. I seriously don't know if I can call this love. I don't know if I should feel loved by my T. I just can't reach there. I feel sometimes like he is pushing me to say something, something about love, but I really don't know. Once, long time ago, well few months ago I said to him, that I would like to be loved by him. He replied that he can't give me what I want, but he will be with me through this. He also...Read More...

Hi UV I'm very new here and waiting for my first session with a recommended T. The title of this post really spoke to me... I have only just started to acknowledge that my childhood was completely 'wrong'. Intellectual understanding is of course, nowhere near actually dealing with it emotionally, though, which I hope a T will be able to help with. I never felt part, of anything, always felt off to one side, my mother never congratulated me on anything without condition - 'that was ok, but...Read More...

smiley, i am late on this but i hope things are better. can you ask you t to talk for you? a time or two mine took me places and talked for me and it helped, and she was right on to what i was feeling. helped me get used to it, and not have to perform. just a thought, and breathe, my friend. i hear the panic, and the spiraling, been there. breathe, get outside, breathe. post here, breathe. you are going to be ok, my friend. it will get better, and i know how i hate hearing that myself, so,...Read More...

y'no? i have a good friend who is a MSW and her husband a psychiatrist, and there are some real LEGAL issues with what she did to me. are y'all aware of this type thing?? we have more rights to humane treatment than i realized, in fact, she could create a case, she thinks for rebate of dollars spent and her unethical termination. anyone have experience here?? she is really buttoning up her stuff, but i have a BIG MEMORY OF UNMET PROMISES...got really good at that as a child, could not...Read More...

janedoe, feel free to pm me if it would help. i get the shivers at times and it helps to go outside, (pop an anxiety med or a beer...or both...oops!) when i was spinning over the t3 giving me the boot, i kept telling myself she is just ONE person in this BIG world and certainly ONE person i hardly know couldn't be that important, and to recognize it for what it really pulled on, and that was the attachment stuff. can you determine what this is really about?? can you look out at the stars in...Read More...

thanks strummergirl, i am going there now, and STRM, yes, a break actually feels pretty good. i have been playing golf and tennis and just hanging it up for awhile. i am interviewing, slowly a few therapists, but won't start til after kids get in school. funny, i don't think i feel the deperation i have felt. i think my sixth sense knew she was insincere. a stinky phoney with no compassion...fake. and smelly (ok, little five year old jill, can it with the body odor comments!!)Read More...

Dear JaneDoe...I am beyond sickened and horrified to read how you have been treated...but I am also SO GLAD you shared it and didn't keep it all locked up inside you, so can hear over and over again how you really were the one wronged in every way. I agree with everything that's already been said. You are none of the negative words you used for yourself, it hurts to even think about saying them in relation to you so I don't even want to type them. Hmm, that's weird...I was just picturing how...Read More...

TN I agree with Starfish - Good for you!! Glad you had the strength to do that.Read More...

Bye Jill - have fun!Read More...

Hang in there DeepFried!!!Read More...

I pick forlorn because it was the feeling that closest match my mood and sounded the most like a feminine name. The end part reminds me of Lauren, which is a pretty name to me. Cool topicRead More...

sorry- this was suddently a very old response.. I cant cope with the speed in here It was ment to one of the first message..Read More...

Thank you so much ForlornRead More...