Just dropping in quickly in the middle of packing and cleaning...VL- I understand what you are saying, why would you put yourself through such a thing again...it is hard. But maybe the thing, is to reevaluate your reasons for being in therapy, and see if it still feels like something you need to do? If you can find a T who can make the process about you getting your needs (the ones the T can meet) met through therapy, than, I would say it is worth it, though it is still not "enough" to fill...Read More...

jane, sis, provo girl, and draggers...still can't talk about it. thanks for caring, wish SHE did, but y'alls support is so helpful do you ever feel you are surrounded by support and love, but that the people who care, CAN'T heal you, and the people who CAN heal you just f-ing don't care!!?? that is where i am parked today. thanks for caring, friends!! jillRead More...

dragonfly, laughing is fine! i meant it truthfully, but if i don't have some fun while i'm circling the drain, then it would all just suck!! glad you laughed!! xxoo, jillRead More...

aw, tn and smiley, thanks. it helps to much just to have your words. no one else but us here on the board gets this stuff. tn, mine claims to be an expert in inner child work, but dang, she sure skirts the issue alot. i guess she is seeing what i can handle. what i CAN'T handle is skirting the issue!!! y'no? i KNOW you do!! thanks, smiley, i will, i will do one nice thing for me just coz YOU told me to!! thanks!! jillRead More...

DeepFried Please feel free to write anytime here. My thought about your T is this.....If you are really feeling this much about it, maybe you should look at a T that is involved with your other people already. It seems to me that your t has a different road scheduled for you and your 2 t's are going head to head. Don't give up ok?Read More...

You have all given me good advise. My situation is so complicated. My T spoke with a colleage who expressed concern at the suddenness of my husband's obsession. My T finally came our and said, "if you were my daughter, I would tell you to leave. But you are not my daughter, so you have to make that choice" My choice is to stay. As I said my life situation is very complex and enmeshed with my H. We have a livestock farm with 30 animals. It take the two of us to run it. I can be replaced for a...Read More...

Oh No BeeBee you are leaving us too? Well, I'm glad it's only for a short time and for a fun reason. I wish you safe and happy travels. I will miss your thought provoking posts and warm hearted responses. Don't forget to come back to us. Hugs TNRead More...

Amazon, I relate so much to what you're saying. I have had the same sorts of problems with my friends. Unless people have been in therapy, I mean really been in therapy, not just a few sessions with some T they didn't click with, they just don't get it. About a year ago I was really struggling with the erotic transference feelings I had (have) for my now ex-P, and I opened up to a couple of friends about it. They said, "Just get a new therapist. Then you can have an affair with him!" like it...Read More...

STRM, thanks for telling me the end of the story and I guess it worked out for you as I know you have children now. I will talk to my T about the guided imagery, I know he used it one time with my son who was afraid of having nightmares and he told him a really nice story about what he needs to think of and perhaps he can do the same for me. I have a small tape recorder I can use if he agrees to it. I'm glad the Xanax is helping you. It's so hard to give in and take the drugs. In my case,...Read More...

Hey BB, Boo to disappearing posts! I can't tell whether I'm here or not.... But I'm giving you a passing hug in either case - you know, the cabin door is unlocked, why don't y'all bundle in and keep the place warm for me while I flit in and out? xxxJRead More...

STRM, i think you are right, my t is going slowly, she says i am more afraid of that inner child and what she has to say than anybody else in my life. and i think she is right. i fear letting loose, as that inner child, expressing that anger that i am sure lurks in there that was never allowed to express. i wish i could just accept the child and nurture her, as i don't want to have to experience that anger, and too, i would feel REALLY STUPID expressing it, crying, hitting a pillow, all that...Read More...

WLOH: Oh my goodness....I am soooooooo sorry that you have lost your "first love".....the one that you "loved the most"....I can only have imaginings of how you must be feeling....I thank you for your tender sharings.....I am most appreciative!! Grieving....a difficult process for sure....take good care of yourself and again, thank you for the post!!Read More...

Jill, I dissociate often in sessions. T is always asking - where are you going and I have to make an effort to come back at times. I can also relate to the feeling of watching the abuse happen - from above. I suspect I spent a lot of time dissociated as a child. I was very often accused of daydreaming and even had my hearing tested several times in elementary school. We have done some hypnosis/guided imagery - I am unsure if there is and what the difference is really. We have talked about...Read More...

Hi BB and MacLove. Thanks ! BB, I think it's more complicated than who's right and who's wrong. I know that in some situations, like meeting with someone special, I tend to be a bit nervous/anxious or just apprehensive. When this happens, I imagine the person is in front of me and I say out loud what I have to tell. A bit like a rehearsal. This helps by noticing my emotions/how I feel, when the words are actually coming out of my mouth. In your case, your T told you: "You have to learn to...Read More...

TN, I have nothing to add to the insightful responses you have already received. I just wanted to let you know I think what you did in that session was amazing and that I am sorry the ambivalent bug is biting now. I hate it when that happens. I do find it a bit interesting to see how I have done a similar thing as you. During a session with my ex-T that was not going well, I shared big secret. I've always been stumped at the reason for doing it but the explanation you gave for doing it with...Read More...

DF I am sorry that happened to you (((DF))) I can imagine how it might occur though, as the feelings of being very young are so overwheming and real, and if you're adding terror into the equation too, well then it's perfectly understandable. But I can imagine how hard that would have been for you. Many adults in terror-filled situations do likewise, without even regression playing its part. Well that makes me even more glad that you have Faith, from what you have ever posted about her I...Read More...

Hello, This is an interesting thread. Since I've suffered from depression, learned a lot from it and will soon open a private counselling practice, I thought I'd share my experience and knowledge about ADs and overcoming depression. I've lived on 3 different continents in the past 12 years, did A LOT of research, interviewed clients, patients, Psychiatrists, Psychologists, Counsellors, etc... and what I found might be of some assistance. Although this is somewhat basic. So, bear with me...Read More...

He also wanted to borrow my book- A General theory of Love by Lewis et al. I am thrilled! Great bookRead More...

Janedoe: glad to hear that you are feeling better today...what a scary dream...glad that it was a dream...chocolate cake...yes indeed....mmmm..... I think I am feeling a little better today....would like to just put this whole thing to rest now and move forward.... Take good care!!Read More...

Jill: I am sorry to hear that your T had hurt and invalidated you...that sucks....this seems to be an all too common experience in therapy.... I like how Forlorn brought up the human defence...While for the most part, in my 11 year therapy run, the sessions progressed rather smoothly, I can remember feeling so hurt by her actions once that I thought that was it.... no more therapy for me...when she apologized I wondered whether it was sincere....she brought the human defence into the...Read More...

Good to see you posting Jones, even if only for a 'pop-in' visit! Hope the hair has time to lose a little frizz in some quieter moments, but glad the busyness of what you are doing is also giving you times of happiness and productivity. starfishRead More...

I asked my T if it is common for all people to love their therapists (I was wondering if he loved his therapists - he had 3 of them over the years). He replied that some people just hate their therapists and he disliked most of them, except maybe for one guy who was kind of like a father figure to him. That's just to answer to you Russ, but I didn't really get a lot of information from himRead More...

MH, i wasn't ranting for someone to answer me here, but i appreciate your answer, i was more ranting that of the four discussion groups in the general area, i was the last poster, and i was feeling like i talk too much!! more being funny, than asking for an answer on this one thread. but yes, what you said about provoking you, your t, sometimes she says something that might anger you...hmmm, that is not her reason for saying it. i guess she is innocent but being truthful, so, sounds fair to...Read More...

Forlorn, I'm so sorry you had this childhood. I know the tenseness of which you speak so well. The only difference between your description of your mom is that for me it was my dad. I remember frequently hiding under my bed when he got home from work, not coming out until I could determine by listening whether he was in a bad mood or not. I never knew what I would be in trouble for or how I would displease him next, nor how to prevent it. So yeah, I guess I transfer that fear or expectation...Read More...

AG, Take care if yourself and your family. I will miss you and your insightful words. I wish you the best in your continuing journey. seablueRead More...