Wow, another That is so wrong on so many levels. Ouch.Read More...

thanks bb. we had SOOOOOOOOOO much other stuff, still trying to wrap up my response to Dr. SLeepy who fell asleep in session two (t2), to begin the volumous amounts of problems i have with T1. but, i think that will happen soon. nice idea, though, to preface it with my fear, and kindof let her decide. she is a tiger, tho. really states boundaries for me with my life, in that directional kind of way that seems like you came up with the idea...i think that socratic line of questions. good...Read More...

So I "told" her. As she read it, I uncomfortably shuffled next to her. And when she was done she just said "was that what you've been wanting to telling me?" I said, don't just say "it happens, I hate that." and she said she would not say that because it's not always something that happens to everyone. But she did not freak and we did NOT talk about it much after that. I steered the conversation to other things for the rest of the session. But stupid me, I totally got distracted and forgot...Read More...

Monte...just trying to restrain myself since I know you don't like hugs...ermph...ug...ack... (((((Monte))))) ooops, sorry. Couldn't help it. BBRead More...

Shit... you can't answer to more then just one topic at once... my post got deleted before it was posted.... aaaahhhhh!!!Read More...

forlorn, your title just begged me in the door, i know where you are, i have been parenting my mother since i was 9 or so, not knowing it until recently, and the parenting i did was to keep whatever love (as illformed as it was, it was all i know of parental love) as even being without that, i consciously now know, was something. i didn't have any luck either, and see she is just a spoiled child, and only good to me, although i do all the giving, when HER vast needs are being met. yes, and...Read More...

ps, you say that you knew something like this would happen...did you expect that it would become a relationship that was based on you meeting her needs, you mean, or do you mean something else? The short answer to your question "does that not say something about me?" is that yes, in fact it DOES say something about you...something that you probably need to find out about slowly under the guidance of a caring therapist who is there for YOU, to help you do that...the long answer to your...Read More...

That is great!! I hope the interim period passes quickly!Read More...

Jill I found it really interesting that you would talk about not making another appt but planning on calling it because that's exactly how my T handles it. You don't leave or stop being his client, you just don't know when you're next appt is. I kept wanting to set an end date because I knew leaving would hurt and I just wanted to get it over with. He finally clearly called me on that, and said if I insisted he would set an end date but he really thought it would be better to let it happen...Read More...

Hi think tank Actually I don't think it's the driving that bothers me, fine in heavy traffic etc,don't really mind that at all - it's just that I can't be certain I'll go the right way if given directions a bit last-minuteish!! My husband is very used to me now, always jokes that he should just say the complete opposite of where we need too turn, and we'd just get there fine!! starfishRead More...

why do i always start every post with 'WOW'?? but, WOW, such great stuff LL and Jones. LL, yes, you got it, it is how i adapt at trying to be liked, for me, a selfish goal to avoid pain, rather than the alruistic light i had thought it to be, maybe a little of both, but definitely the purpose of the chameleon is multi-dimensional. and Jones, i guess i came on the board in a period of greater activity and more posters, and feel a bit relieved to hear you say that, as i am just marveling at...Read More...

Whoa somebody stop the time machine! I used to LOVE that song and haven't heard it in forever.Read More...

Hi there. I'm not sure we've met, but it's good to hear that you are doing well! Kids certainly keep the computer time down!Read More...

sunnyshine I think the bottom line is that you must go with your feelings. I think that sharing emotions can be validating and helpful, perhaps even more so when processing trauma; it has been for me, teaches me that my T is a real person with real feelings, not a blank canvas, that would be so triggering for me. But I have never been uncomfortable with anything that she has told me, but would certainly feel able to tell her if it did and feel certain you must do the same. It will help you...Read More...

Draggers...I just wanted to say, ooooh, please don't torture yourslef with thinking about leaving your T right now, either...like it was said, it is another worry for another day...a looong way off, so why be scared about it now...when you are ready, well, you won't be scared, horrified, or miserable in the way it might seem like you would now, when you are not ready for such a step, true? ((((Draggers))))Read More...

Hi, DaRock...just wanted to say hi, I don't think I had a chance to say hi yet! Good your session went well...! It's nice to meet you. BBRead More...

thank you so much for the feedback and encouragement. It's stuck in my mind (in a very good way) as I have tried to process this more and sit with it. I actually dared to talk about how I was feeling about my T with my T today. Although she is somewhat baffled about the changes in me, and what I am feeling, she was very accepting and kind. Which of course kinda weirded me out more. We talked about the eq T, and letting myself just feel ok. My T reminded me that if things get scary again, I...Read More...

ditto from me, i just printed that part about shame. i know so often things really ring my bell, but this is exactly IT! this supports the chinese water torture of my childhood, and the evasive subtlty of it as well. T1 said PTSD, but this shame thing is most accurate. it is not fear of my life being taken, it is more the fear of living it out! i think you know, and no 's' stuff, but overbearing anxiety at just what, i don't know. anyway, taking this right on into T3 monday and i hope we can...Read More...

p.s. I did have an appointment with my T today -I did talk about my old T, and that by itself was a huge thing for me, but I couldn’t get the courage to quite say this. almost. words can be very hard for me to litterally speak if the subject is really close to my heart and emotional for me. I told her that at my appointment this next tuesday, there’s something really specific I have to talk to her about. I feel a lot more encouraged to talk with her about it after reading your responses. It...Read More...

AG, Thank you for posting this link - I love learning more about this stuff - find it fascinating.Read More...

Hi Echo, I suspect it's not really about you, it's about other people's inability to face pain. One of the more painful things I've learned over the course of my healing is that there really are very few people who can stay with you when you're in pain. Because it brings them too close to their own buried pain. So instead of being able to hold still and hear you out (which is the most important part, being heard and understood, because as you recognized, you are more than capable of dealing...Read More...

Folorn - missed your arrival somehow! Welcome too, starfishRead More...

Oh wow! Thanks for the warm welcomes everyone! Amazon- The name is nothing special, just means alone and vulnerable. (usually how I feel when I'm struggling) Thanks again for making me feel welcomed.Read More...

Hi Blackbird and Maclove. I think you both have made very good points, and blackbird i think i do need her to share something with me to be able to talk to her openly, i feel that is only right, it does not have to be anything very personal or detailed just a normal every day thing, this helps to see her as being normal especially for me. I also feel that what she wants to share with me is letting me know she trusts me too. Hi Maclove, i have been with this therapist for 4 years and having a...Read More...

Hey, Mayo...Thanks for asking- I'm hanging in there right now! Good that you are busy...wish I could get motivated, ugh...yeah, it's a really good place. How are you doing? BBRead More...