wow, great responses! thanks! ultraviolet - i think this is a great point! I think there is something about the fact that we are all working on our stuff that helps this be a community where we take responsibility for ourselves and have a lot of respect for each other wherever we are at. I agree with what several others posted that it is so helpful to connect and read about others struggling with therapy issues and stuff. It helps me so much to not feel alone in the middle of this process...Read More...

Hi Starfish, Thanks for your comments. I really do think that my symptoms exist for a good reason, and if I can ever get to what's behind them (certain emotions, beliefs, whatever) that they'll melt away. I just have to stop thinking so much and allow myself to feel more. Cheers, RussRead More...

Let us know how it goes! It is good for our hearts, too... BBRead More...

Re: Depression(?)Read More...

Hi Forlorn & welcome! Cool to hear you are doing some art therapy too. I've had two sessions now and one was art and the other was just talking. It will be interesting to see how it plays out. Picking up some drawing skills would be a bonus! JRead More...

Lizzygirl, I'm so sorry about your dog. I had a dog named Molly once too. I'm glad she is now at peace, but sorry for the pain that it brings you for her to be gone. It's good that your husband has been sober since that night. I'm sorry that you had to see him like that. Your T sounds great and I'm glad that he has been there for you. That is so important.Read More...

Thanks for your post, LL...and I read in another thread you mentioned seeing that T for a fourth time, and now not so sure about her...I hope to see an update soon. Hugs to you {{{{{{{{LL}}}}}}}} Oh yes you were spot on with the dodgy mea culpa games played by moms. Really that's just all about them too. Still not thinking of us and how it was for us. It is probably unconscious on their part...but still...leaves us feeling guilty instead of resolved. But at least we are learning better...Read More...

What do I say to all of you? I am so touched by all of your responses. Thank you so much for reaching out and sharing your own personal experiences, it really does help. I did get a response from my T and I kind of said the same thing to my T that you, DF, suggested. Writing a little at a time. I do get frustrated and upset so if I just write a couple of sentences at a time maybe I can actually write more. ((BB)) - you're so cute! Thanks for the hug I could feel it way over here. The...Read More...

Live in that feeling Russ, rely on it- during weak times, and that will help you through it. Remember how you felt on your birthday- hold on to that because that is what is real. Let that feeling pull you through the fog. My fog has lifted for a season, and for that I am grateful. Be well! MayoRead More...

Hi STRM... You describe my last two weeks perfectly. Last week I got flooded in my session and my T did not bring me down or ground me before I left. I left rather abruptly and then went through a cycle of "I'm not contacting him because I can do this myself"... but I was not so able and truly suffered through the week with no contact. When I saw him the following week I tried to explain to him how I was feeling. How I had to resort to numbing myself to survive the week and didn't use any...Read More...

{{{{{{{Echo}}}}}}} I'm sorry to see we have so much in common, Echo And I wouldn't be too quick to say my marriage isn't ending, the jury's still out on that, yet. But it sounds like you ARE there, and I'm really sorry about that. You've got a lot of pain to bear up under right now. I was glad to hear in another thread you posted about asking for and receiving support from friends...I hope that continues, and of course you always have friends here to support you, too, if you ever need to...Read More...

thanks everyone... LL - oh, you are so right! It is a worm that eats away at us... _________________________________ I have to say, yesterday was a much better day in the battle with the shame. Today, I'm just mixed up. I begining to understand it all a lot more and that combined with even the simple (and often repeated) task of identifying my shame as shame (and not the definition of who I am) seems to be helping lighten the load and be a little less weary. I travel on to fight another day...Read More...

{{{{{{{{Agent}}}}}}}} Missing a T is so terribly painful...I think it's safe to say we all really get this...they occupy a very special place in our hearts that no one else can. I am also a champion fantasizer when I'm in pain so I can really relate to that refuge you mentioned. I'm really glad to hear you contacted your doctor to help you find a new T. I hope the next one can help you work through the grief over losing your last T, and continue the work that you want to do in therapy. And...Read More...

FOT, You have every right to be angry!! I don't remember where you live but in NY state what your Ps office did would actually be a violation of the law. At a minimum, you probably have a pretty good basis for a civil law suit. I do think it's a breech of ethics that your privacy is being treated so cavailerly. Confidentiality is important in any medical field, but doubly so in a psychiatric practice. I understand forgiving it the first time it happened. Everyone is human and mistakes...Read More...

Oh, so sorry MTF. Would love to hear what happened when you are ready. I can't imagine going so long between appointments. I can barely manage 4 or 5 days. You are amazingly strong to go that long!!Read More...

AG: Yes I am sure this is true, she has pointed this out to me so many times already. What everyone said here is really really helping to clarify...but I will still bring this up with her in the next session. This helps so much, thank you! I was seeing "learned helplessness" as a sort of accusation of laziness...but when you explain it this way, it doesn't seem like an accusation at all anymore. Much more like another erroneous belief that needs to be brought out into the light so it can...Read More...

Thanks all!!! I have a really good feeling about this too.Read More...

WLOH, I understand how hard it can be to post at times but please just pop in and let us know how you are. We are thinking of you and sending good thoughts your way. TNRead More...

Amen, Starfish...that seems very wise DF! JD, I would feel awful if I thought it would never get easier. Personally, I think we will always go through times when things will be difficult, yes, but we will also have many of the times that are easier and less strenuous. Human beings need times of rest, recovery and regrowth, and that is no wrong, but it's those times we wait for and hope for, in fact! Then, after such times, we may begin again to push to a new level of growth, when we are...Read More...

TN, I'm curious about the idea of dissociation. I see it a lot here on the forum but I'm not really sure what it means. What actually happens when you dissociate? There are times where my head is so foggy I can barely think straight, but I've gotten so used to it that I can actually think and function in spite of it now. There are also lots of times where I'll totally forget what we talked about in a session, but with a word or two from my T - or if I really think hard - it all comes back to...Read More...

Aww, you all are so great I'm beside myself. Thanks for the encouragement and support everyone! It helps to have those positive vibes and I hope I can keep them with me on Friday when I'm sitting there scared as ever trying to get out all the stuff I need to get out to my T. I so appreciate this place and what I get here. Too bad my T doesn't really know how great you all are, or I think she would love you guys as much as I do!! I'll be sure to post about it after I have a chance to gather...Read More...

IHTS Sorry its so tough for you - feeling lonely amongst everything else is really hard. I hope you can feel supported though it here at least. starfishRead More...

Yes, our tax dollars at work.Read More...

Aw, thanks for the kind words, Jones. Lots of times I'm not a good mum, though. But yes, it is the most beautiful nightie in the world...and she is wearing it tonight, so I get my comfy ones. yay! BBRead More...

Welcome Elle. That's a pretty name. I hope you will feel comfortable in our group...and that you can find some caring and support for yourself here. I'm sorry you are suffering, and I hope we can ease your loneliness a little bit. I have often gone through times in my life when it felt truly like no one cared. But after some therapy and work, I was able to at least be able to see a little bit of the caring that was available to me for the asking around me. Let us know how you are faring. BBRead More...