Hey Echo, I'm so glad that you are feeling a little better about your T. I can hear that you still have some reservations about her, but at least she's encouraging you to be open with her about the process. I have to say that I think I would be a little put off if I had to do an "art project" after reading an article. I'm OK at art...not great, just OK, and so I need to feel inspired to do something artsy in order to do it. I wouldn't want to feel obligated to do any sort of art, either. But...Read More...

oops, hey Jill, I'm sorry - I didn't mean to take this convo somewhere else by opening the art therapy thread - I just didn't see this one at the time. But we can hopefully have 2 convos about art therapy, right? This exercise reminds me of games we used to play as teenagers - describe a house, a path, a tree, a cup, a wall... each thing is supposed to represent something inside you but I can't remember them all now.Read More...

Aw, thank you Mayo! We are all trying hard, aren't we? oops just to clarify, Jill brought this thread back, not me... BBRead More...

LL, To me it sounds like this therapist is making an attempt to connect with you by exposing the fact that she has sat where you are sitting and understands how you might feel. It's so scary to take a T at face value and to let ourselves trust, at least enough to set aside our negative assumptions of them. I hope your search for a T and all the confusion will end soon. deeplyrootedRead More...

Thanks so much everyone for your beautiful words. BB, I NEEEEED to see video footage of the BB dance...to SG's electric guitar riff! it is for therapeutic purposes. Yeah, party in the woods.... As for you, AG, you're making me blush - thank you for saying those lovely things. I am having moments of missing T, feeling sad about the things we can't finish together. But mostly it feels complete somehow. Thank you all for making this the right place to to work on processing this. Kashley and...Read More...

AG I wasn’t around to reply straight away to your post - I’m so sorry you got hit with such an onslaught of illnesses. I hope you are heaps better now and getting back into stride - sounds like you got really thrown there for a bit (thank God for your wonderful T!) I also hope your husband is now ok and everything settles back down. So much for a vacation huh? Maybe it’s better for the health not to take holidays lol. Good to see you back AG! LLRead More...

Thank you Lamplighter - no you didn't upset me. You have to kind of read between the lines. He did allow a couple friends to visit. He was there 8 days and discharged. He still can't see me. I know he is being genuine. There seem to be so many different reactions to abandonment. Some folks cling too tight to their mate from fear. My partner has a fear of attaching. A trauma in his childhood taught him that emotional closeness = vulnerable = panic and then his choice is to flee (flight or...Read More...

Oh, that's it exactly. And it's such a messed up notion, but I can't get past it. I just wish I understood. I need more patience. You hit the nail on the head again, BB. That was a major problem I had with my last T and in group therapy, since both of those were limited to a small number of sessions. Getting into 'deep' emotional stuff just didn't seem worth the turmoil. I can't imagine having the month in between (I admire you for being able to deal with that), because digging into unknown...Read More...

Hi DR - I'm so glad that you found another T, thank you for telling us about it, it sounds like you are working VERY hard and it is amazing to hear about, especially all the details of what you are learning about yourself in being "forced" to take things slowly - paying attention to yourself and how you feel, emotionally and in your body, also making other connections and turning to others for support - this is all good for me to hear, being a really good isolater myself. And I'm glad you're...Read More...

Interesting topic- My T is always telling me to pay attention to my body- but hard for me to do. Yes, yes I do (or used to) get the crawling scalp pins and needles in session (have to rub my head when that happens) and the vague body emotional stuff- strong. This has increased lately- it is extreme embarrassment (so extreme I can't talk and can not stay there)mixed with sexual stuff. Something my T says- triggers this, but I don't know what he says. I know it is about love, and my crossed...Read More...

Wow FOT the more I read, the more I feel blessed by the T I have - warts and all.Read More...

Russ thanks so much for your comments. You’re dead right when you say I’d started looking for Ts who at least had experience because what I needed I reckoned the less experienced ones couldn’t help with - in fact I now see that experience itself is not enough (Strummergirl has hit the nail on the head - as usual - in another thread when she says that for a T to be able to help on the level I’m looking for - and I’m guessing quite a few others are too - the T has to have gone through their...Read More...

Ultraviolet hi Yes yes yes. I feel a LOT of anger and though sometimes it’s sparked by a specific event or person or comment mostly I sit in a pressure cooker of undirected rage (half the time I don’t even recognize that it’s rage it’s only lately that’s become clear.) Before, I’d really struggle trying to make a connection between my anger and something that must have caused it - and usually ended up with it all being my fault anyway. I’ve come to accept that yes actually I can be angry...Read More...

hee hee, thanks, from ALL OF US JILLS!!Read More...

Deeplyrooted - I think it was very generous of you to share your "ideal" T appointment. I'm sure it was helpful for lots of folks, myself included. It also sounds to me like you are firmly in the process of healing yourself and I am happy for you. saandRead More...

he illuminated the cause of my problems and helped me to get on the path of faith in God. and for that, i will be eternally grateful. wish he coulda finished it off, but, i dunno, tonight i feel that one day this will all end. in a good way!Read More...

ultraviolet, what is 'gaslighting'?? and thank you for you response and your encouragement. i felt so burned by him. in fact, in that that happened in our second session, i didn't realize it til a few days later, but just thursday i went to my SECOND session with T3, and i was SO BRACED FOR A PROBLEM that even her sitting in a different chair upset me. she TUNED INTO IT (yea! for T3) and went to her 'usual' chair. i was so braced...it was 'as if' seconds sessions were the problem...'second...Read More...

My therapist's car broke down completely while he was driving past the area where I live. I must have been sending some electrical shockwaves to effect it so badly. A few days before that I went to have a look at the new cars, thinking of changing into something new. Apparently now my T is going to get a new car too, since the old one is dead. What a coincidence, isn't it? I feel like wow, we are both going to get new cars around the same time! I passed him on the street today, while I was...Read More...

Well said, MTF! I feel the same way about threads I start. Mind if I copy what you said here in "my" threads? Russ, I get how friendships can be confusing...especially with the opposite sex, hey? BBRead More...

the more i read y'all's posts, the more i realize i should be content with no apology, etc. coz if i had that, i may be inclined to re-enter the sick co-dependant circle i was in. so, watch what you wish for, i am telling myself. better to just leave it as is. it is weird though, a year ago, if they were killed in a car crash?? i would have mourned. now?? i really don't know what i would do. but, just between us, relief at not having to be in relationship with them (because of my own sense...Read More...

i've been on lunesta for two years, love it, surely am addicted, but sleep is so essential. expensive, last time pharmacist suggested a generic for ambien, but i thought i'd check in out first. i take it like an m and m...now the abilify, hold the horses on that one, i may need it, i do think it cleared my thinking a bit, could have been placebo, but the headache was excruciating. lunesta for me was an easy yes, but i guess it depends on how you are sleeping without it?? i would wake up...Read More...

Well, if that is really all he wants then that is ok if YOU are ok with it. I think doing what feels right for you is most important. Oooh, looked handsome today huh? I was drooling over the barely older than teenage gardener across the street from my T today. He has his shirt off and a very shiny set of washboard abs. He was fun to look at for a few minutes! Oh yes, I can't wait to hear about the body language conversation and the birthday too!Read More...

BB, the first part of this quote is very sad because it is so true. The second part is as you said life-giving. Would you mind if I use this as a prompt to starting a new thread? I want us to expound on both of those thoughts. deeplyrootedRead More...

LL, Last week my T said: "The first day you came to see me, you told me that you came from 'a wonderful, very solid family. There's nothing wrong with my family.'"Read More...

Ha ha Pin Dolls Forever! Let’s see I need one for my stepmother (a BIG one there) and oh let me count - three for the worst of the Ts and at least two for the Pdocs who should have known better oh and there’s another one for the in between T who got angry at my tears calling them waterworks and spent the entire session telling me how intelligent he was and oh yes another one for... hm I think I’m going to need a lot of dolls lol. Jill whether you are the ‘problem’ or not it’s their JOB to...Read More...