TN- Thanks for the reply, it really did help. I think I am going to see about going to see my psychiatrist sooner to discuss this. I dont think unless we actually discuss it I am going to be worried about the reason why he wont have sex with me or give me even a chance. Even if I cant get in sooner I will see him two weeks from tomorrow and I cant wait until I get that chance. Right now I am going back from being depressed and confused to excited about the things I am learning about myself.Read More...

Hi Namratasnv, Welcome to the community. Please do say more about yourself, as we are a community that thrives on sharing and we are really open to hearing from new members. If your aim is to promote a particular website, perhaps the best thing would be to post one link only and to say a little bit about the website. JonesRead More...

Hi this is what i have heard about but at the same time it needs to be understood the difference between counter-dependency and co-dependency. As I have seen many people who are very much emotionally dependable on people and they got hurt easily. Thanks dayspringcenter.comRead More...

The three things that you showed us here are actually very important fro us how we can help us to stop inner critic as, through this we can better analyze our selves and also the decisions we take. As, it is not that bad to talk with yourself as, by doing this you are knowing the better side of yours and what is right or wrong for you. Thanks dayspringcenter.comRead More...

AG I LOVE your posts, the longer the better! They are always full of such wisdom and insight and clarity that it is such a positive thing reading them. What can I say though? Well done you for what you are achieving, and for being able to keep on learning things that are helping you to feel better and better about yourself. Way to go! LamplighterRead More...

Oh, that's so fantastic, Janedoe. I've ridden horses my whole life, but I don't have my horse with me now because of school, finances and other situations. It really is so therapeutic, and I miss riding so much. My horse is leased out to someone for now, and I have trouble even seeing pictures of him because it hurts so much! What I love about being around my horse is that I don't have to be anything I'm not. My horse and I figure things out together, and when things click, it's an amazing...Read More...

Thanks for the hug AG and starfish . It does help to know at MyShrink that I do not walk this journey alone, even though it sometimes feels like it. Though the pain of rejection exposed deeper issues, I am grieved that the relationship cannot be repaired because trust was broken. I am tempted to blame myself for the anger I expressed. I am guilty of scaring her away or resenting me for something I did or said. I don't know how to move past that right now. Thank you, starfish, for the words...Read More...

Good on you Lizzygirl! Not long to go now ... LamplighterRead More...

Thank you guys for your care and support. I’ve now started on the shitty hateful task of trying to find another T and am already hitting spinning-me-out crap. Will start another thread on that as I’m going to need a load of input from others to keep me sane and focused in this, it’s only been a couple of days and already I’m thinking that I’ve made a big mistake finishing with T. So it looks like I’ll be back to massive posts and circular thinking again soon. LOL be warned. True North what...Read More...

BB, I can come up with something, it may sound like a right thing to do, but, it's doesn't mean that I can follow my own advise. I know most of the time, what I should tell my T, but I don't always do. A year into therapy and I still didn't tell him much about some important heartbreaking events in my life. I imagine it is going to be heartbreaking kind of love so I try keep it at acceptable (for me) level. I already allowed it to be of slightly sexual shade, but not much. Just a tint. So it...Read More...

It's interesting. It happened to me twice that I got this noise in my ears for a very short while during the session. I don't know if this was anything that matters. I don't really know what disociation is, I don't think it ever happened to me. I am shaking sometimes when the feeling gets very strong, when I'm trying to say something and it's very, very hard to say. I think when it ever comes to the end, which I don't want and I don't expect to happen too soon, I would not want to call it...Read More...

I decided not to change P at this time. I'm going through some difficulty with medication and didn't think it would be a good time to change. However, I have decided that he is a dork and that I prefer to stay where I'm at. The drive isn't that bad, actually gives me some private thinking time away from my husband, gets me off the farm, and the reimbursement is about the same. Gas costs would be the only issue financially. My current P has been very supportive during my T vacation, pinch...Read More...

Hang in there- scaredtoriskmyself, It does get better. If you are new- welcome. Lots of well informed loving people here.Read More...

AG - thats wonderful! Your courage is amazing and what a gift! good job!Read More...

Strummergirl - your words really helped! thanks! I did! Still reading through and processing it - and I loved the Bonnie Raitt song! It reminded me of other songs and I put it and a some others on my MP3 player to help get my head to listen to some different voices than just my own spiral of ick! I read that and yeah, you are right... but then I think but I should have done this sooner or it's too little too late or... oh here I go again, down into the black hole of ick and hate. ugh. Yeah,...Read More...

Hi Kashley- I have to echo what Echo said. (Bad- I know) For me- it does nothing to explore whether or not what happened to me was abuse- meaning intentionally done to hurt me or not. The fact remains, that it did seriously hurt me. And the therapy bills prove that. The blaming of others for who and what I am- does not help me grow, and that is my goal. While I love my T (would marry him if I could) I don't wan't to be in therapy 4 ever. I would rather go surfing with him, or long boarding...Read More...

Hi Everyone- I can relate to the Bear. For the first time in my life. I have a teddy bear- how embarrassing!Read More...

Hi Helle, Kashley, Lamplighter - thanks so much for the congrats, that was lovely. Helle, you are welcome to the words - very welcome!! Ooh look, here's another fresh chocolate cake.Read More...

Thanks SG. It's hard to imagine how next week's session will go when I feel like I have to pretend things are not an issue when they are. And because of this I don't feel safe discussing any of the other serious stuff. I guess we will cross that bridge when we come to it, though. Things could change before the couples session and no one can stop me talking to my t in my session. And my work pressure will soon ease up, I will have more time and emotional energy. I n the meantime it feels...Read More...

skybarbie Sorry that your poll isn't applicable to me but so sorry to read on another thread that you had been affected by 9/11. I cannot imagine at all how awful that must have been at any level. I hope you find some support here. starfishRead More...

D, I feel such deep empathy for you and your struggle with flashbacks. I am so sorry someone perpetrated such evil against you and that you are left with such painful and terrifying experiences to work through. You are courageous in doing this difficult work. Can you explain what you meant by moving from the first phase to the second phase of therapy? This comment implies that there is an order to this very chaotic and unpredictable mess called recovery. deeplyrootedRead More...

Hey CT- Once I called my T- "my paid friend" Needless to say , that did not go over well, and I was so sorry tht I had said that.Read More...

Welcome back Jo!Read More...

Thanks for the update, Echo! I've been thinking about you & wondering how you're holding up. I'm glad to hear that the first instance of your paths crossing turned out to be okay. I hope so, too. Take care, SGRead More...

Sounds like a plan to me, Ag! You in Jo? But...ARE there moderators? If so they are awfully quiet. spooooooooky.Read More...