Thanks for your reply about this AG. I really want to be able to tell my t good stuff verbally, but it freaks me out. I feel so... lame? corny? insignificant? And I get worried... like, what if I think it's good and I find out it's not true or valid or maybe it just doesn't matter or it's stupid. I get REALLY nervous about it. I wanted to tell her today but I just couldn't. I just talked about my job and school and other stuff, but i couldn't say "hey, what you said last week really meant a...Read More...

Hi SarahB! I was just wondering how this turned out with your T...hoping for the best and thinking of you!Read More...

Have you talked to a doctor about this? You might get better advice on forums that are aimed at this sort of thing. You could try this one on MedHelp: http://www.medhelp.org/forums/...roenterology/show/68Read More...

Now my principle is telling me that he will kick me out even though I am not doing anything.Read More...

Glad to hear it helped! I don't know if the relaxed state lasts longer as much as I try to be mindful and catch when I'm revving up so I can use the exercise to slow myself down. Keeps me running on an even keel. But I am definitely handling a physiological response to my old trauma feelings being triggered. I'm not sure how effective the approach is since you're handling something that is essentially a side effect due to medication (or a lack thereof). So mine is emotionally sourced whereas...Read More...

echo- thats interesting that you said that. I have always wondered if because I feel like I am 15 all the time if I come across that way to other people. I do relate better to other teenagers and younger kids. Actually, my whole life I have related better to people younger than me. I have often thought about trying to explain the way I feel to my psychiatrist or therapist or recently thought about trying to explain it to my christian counselor, but I have not done it because I am not sure...Read More...

Hi Caeti, I have had experience with Seroquel 25-50mg, although I have not taken the extended release form. I have worked with clients prescribed Seroquel XR and for many, they seemed to become more symptomatic resulting in increases in hospitalizatons and then being switched to another med. It is scary to see client's react like that..and the docs didn't seem to think that would be the outcome...not from the drug company's advertising, I guess. My experience with regular Seroquel...was that...Read More...

thank you BB, DF, monte, for being so honest about your feelings. I can relate to the endless loop of waiting for email, feeling ignored by my T and the extremes of positive and negative emotions about him and therapy in general. I hate being attached and I'm afraid it will never stop being so painful. I have a 4 year old who gets his blanket out of his room everytime something gets stressful and I feel like that only my blanket is a person with their own life who I get for 1 hour a week. I...Read More...

Hi Guys, I understand the struggle with how much do you remember and how do you handle it. I've always gone by the belief that I only need to remember enough to deal with the feelings evoked by what happened. I don't think there's any virtue in remembering for remembering's sake. This is where the transference with my T proved to be so healing. I just kept going back and dealing with whatever got triggered by what happened in our relationship. Pursuing those feelings and trying to understand...Read More...

Thanks all for your advise and for the welcome. I already feel resentment which have resulted in ongoing stomach problems and stress-related headaches. Sometimes the thought of making big life changes which potentially affects others makes me feel like a monster so I become paralized from taking action. Everything feels like a mountain to climb and have to unlearn behaviour that has held me back. I've probably been a people pleaser too often so being assertive towards someone who thinks they...Read More...

Hi TN! Thanks so much for the feedback. Like you, I get caught up in feeling awful, which makes it hard to do the therapy. Of course, the pain is very legitimate, but it’s also important to have the courage to at least try to do the work while in that place. That in itself is enraging. They say that the mind is elastic and it’s possible to actually change its physical makeup. If that’s the case, it really is a stop-and-start, meandering process just as you describe. Helle, I’m sorry that you...Read More...

Loorie, I voted for you to stay with therapy. I'm a guy, and I guess transference is different with guys, but I have my own version of transference with my T. What you're experiencing sounds like such a real, authentic feeling, and maybe it's the beginning of real, true healing...a kind of repairing of what got broken earlier in life. So I say stick with it! RussRead More...

Hi all.... I know JM will "feel the warmth" of how much she is missed...and valued. We all need to take a break from time to time. Sometimes too much time on the computer is isolating. It's a double edged sword. I'm sure JM is doing exactly what she needs to do right now. She'll probably return when it's right for her. I miss her too. ((((JM)))) SDRead More...

hi you all, I just want to thank you all for your great courage in posting this stuff, and to absolutely validate you for every word. I wish everyone here (including myself) could just give themselves absolute permission to write whatever they feel and at as much length as they feel. My husband is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. It deeply affects our lives, as does my own history of emotional abuse and family violence. I really really struggle with being a good partner when there is so...Read More...

You are lucky in a way because you are relatively young and starting to do something about your situation. Just keep it up. A lot of us always feel guilty about not doing enough for our loved ones. Also, I spend a lot of my time fritting and fretting over so many things I wonder how I get anything constructive done and it's a bad habit to break; worse as you get older. Good luck in decifering it all.Read More...

Beautiful poem AG!! mlcRead More...

Hi Folks, Thanks for your replies. It is getting more difficult now. I know perhaps what I need to do. But also I don't know. Maybe I understand... I need to tell him what I want and what I need. I don't know if i will be able to do it soon. I understand that there will be a point that he won't be able to give me what I need from him. But maybe he will hear and embrace my needs and my feelings... hold me somehow... I don't know. I would like him to do and say something that would not feel...Read More...

Hi janedoe I think dragonfly summed it up beautifully with: I would have run for the hills too. I'm OKRead More...

Thanks SG and AG for your wise and kind words, I really feel guilty about posting that info. I feel like a traitor. This is an awful place to be in. I don't know what I did wrong?? Why did it turn out to be so confusing??? I guess the outcome is her responsibility, but she was responding to my needs. I emailed her asking if she wanted to stop contact with me. Her reply was that the email was hurtful....This morning I asked to see her in person to talk. She has not responded. And, I don't...Read More...

Hey SG, I was missing you too around here! Thanks for your supportive words. As for the issue of progress...well it turns out that my T was sort of triggered on that by my stupid insurance company. He has to fill out paperwork every 3 months on my "progress" and what we are doing in therapy. Because I'm currently not on meds the insurance company is pushing them so we have to talk about it and we end up in a huge disruption because I am not interested in meds. I don't really feel that I need...Read More...

I have wondered about the length of time I have spent with my P. I can't imagine not seeing him ever again or at least for a long time. I think I have worked through many issues over the years and have come to terms with some of them. I still find I have things to cover with him. Not because we are stagnant. But sometimes I feel the need to get support for feelings that bubble up to the surface. He helps me deal with the "The here and now issues" I have, as he calls them. I still feel that I...Read More...

awesome! Im enjoying the Olympics a lot so far... watching prime time every night... if I had cable. would watch some of the other sports as wellRead More...

Hi there Stummergirl, Thanks for sharing so much about your journey. I just wanted to pipe in here, because this: struck a chord with me. You're right, the solution itself DOES trigger the problem, but unlike alcohol, food, love, insert addiction here, therapy is actually a solution that has the potential to work. For me, I went into therapy knowing I would have to become "addicted" to my therapist in my same old transferencial way in order for me to STOP my addictive, codependent behavior.Read More...

Hi all, AG thank you for expressing why we zone out so clearly. My T has also said similar but somehow it is clearer coming from someone who has been there themselves - and I know she hasn't . Perhaps we need to kinder to ourselves when it happens and trust that by persevering in this processs it will gradualy stop. Does anyone get any warning because I don't seem to, can even find I have fallen asleep or done things I don't remember. Magpie, I do tell my T I trust her - I thinks it helps me...Read More...