Wow, Halo - this is fantastic to read! You were so strong with saying all the things you needed to say. It sounds like the whole session was an incredible release. I love that you are working towards closure on the issues with this relationship, while also taking care of yourself by working with a new P. Way to go. JRead More...

Amazon, Before I start, let me say that my T is a female, I have never had a male T - don't think there ever was/is a time that I would feel safe. So, I have never experienced the "being in love with my T", but I do love my T and want her to be the one to nurture me and help me grow. Okay... Being more outspoken is a good thing! One thing that I would like to comment on is this... I donot believe it is a T's intention for us to become dependent upon them, but I do believe that they know it...Read More...

pippi... I know how hard it is and how the anxiety can ramp up before a session, especially one in which you need to discuss painful and scary things. I think your plan is a good one... to tell him as soon as you walk in how scared you are and how hard this is but that you wrote down a lot of really honest and raw thoughts that you need him to be aware of. Just to be able to write it down was a brave thing to do and I'm sure you will handle the session just fine. I just wanted you to know...Read More...

Hi HBShadow, I totally agree that a certain T and a certain approach can be a good fit for one person and not for another. But you also mention "trust", "nagging doubts", and "getting hurt in the same way". Were these two others disappointed because his approach didn't work for them? Or did they get hurt because they couldn't trust him, because he betrayed them? For me, those would be two very different situations. The first one wouldn't concern me, as long as that T's approach was working...Read More...

Guys, off topic question.. Which is correct? "transference object" or "object of transference" ThanksRead More...

He kept asking me some dodgy questions, like how I felt about him cancelling a session, and I was like "whatever, now I will go somewhere and miss a session too". I was going to visit a friend one weekend and I would have to miss a session. But then I added very quickly, that I can arrange my trip that way, so I won't miss a session. He wanted to know why would I be bothered with missing a session. I didn't want to cause any trouble to him, but he wanted to know why not. So I was thinking...Read More...

Amazon, I think this can happen in many ways. One or both of his parents can send the message that "big boys don't cry," and then of course he could get this idea at school or around other kids. Kids are incredibly cruel, and they were cruel to me for sure. If you're a quiet reserved kid like I was, you are most certainly going to be picked on and called all sorts of names and be accused of being a fag, etc, etc. And if you feel it's not OK to cry, then it all just turns to anger. I also...Read More...

I am new to this board but this topic hit home for me and I wanted to share my story. I have been seeing my T for three and a half years now and I have struggled with dependency issues for quite some time, I'm not sure how long though. At one point, I flat out asked her not to give up on me, I was really going through a rough patch at the time. Lately though, I'm feeling this creep up on me again. I have some issues I need to address pertaining to my therapy and I am so scared to do this. I...Read More...

Hey Amazon! Sorry to hear about your rough session... it always is challenging to have a rough session after an amazing one! [QUOTE]Originally posted by Amazon: As for writing things down - we've been there. I wrote a lot. I gave him some 30 pages already (I think) and have another notebook full. First time I handed him some notes, I didn't want him to read them in front of me, so he read them after the session. Next session he asked if we can go back and read them. There's no way I would. I...Read More...

CT, You are just a babe... But sometimes, us old fogies can learn something from the young'ns... And I totally understand the being depressed part and also the "lurkdom" (I spent almost 5 months lurking)... I have to say, my suicide attempts were pre-marraige. Well, for the most part. Some say my anorexia was an indirect attempt (which is true to a degree) and I suffered with that until just about 10 years ago. For the most part, I have never been away from my boys. I think just recently I...Read More...

Hi Mrs P, so good to see you posting again. I have processed quite a lot of stuff since I saw him. I have realized it in my head and in my heart that he is a really selfish man - not just a selfish and cruel therapist. I am not supposed to know anything about him as a person but sadly I know far too much about him and what I know I don't like. How are you travelling? I hope you are feeling better. Halo That has made it a lot easier for me to make the break from him. If I hadn't gone back I...Read More...

Hi Scott, There are no words to comfort you so all I can say is that I hope you have lots of support around you and we're always here if you need to talk or just wanna read some threads that you feel might help. It's definitely gonna take time as the cliche goes but I have found it's true from loved ones I've lost. It'll never be the same but it becomes a bit easier. Hugs and love, Mrs. PRead More...

Hi all. Totally addicted to the show as i think I mentioned earlier. When I found the links online I watched every day for as long as I could until the episodes ran out. I loved the storylines and spent my time analysing Paul and the patients! It's amazing how much you pick up from going to therapy! I loved Paul's manner-i.e. facial expressions and body language. I mean throughout the series I think he makes a lot of mistakes-particularly with laura but then I can see a lot of good work he...Read More...

Hi KS, Sorry I'm posting back so late. I agree that this site is great for support and has lots of very kind and considerate people. I find it very hard to keep up with all of the threads too! Sometimes I see so much that I want to reply to with a meaningful response but it's just too overwhelming. So my advice to you is to do what you can and try to get the best out of what's on offer here. Take care, Mrs. PRead More...

Hi Shannon, I'd like to answer your question, but it's very broad and hard to get a handle on. I don't know, for a start, if my culture is 'different' to yours! And I'm not sure if and how those differences would affect a counselling situation or not. The thing about cultural values and beliefs is that they don't seem 'different' to those that hold them - they just seem like normality. Maybe if you have particular culture or situation you could ask about, that would help people to respond.Read More...

Yup, I've got this one too. Chocolate chip ice cream with malt powder is my #1 comfort food, followed by anything crispy and salty (chips, popcorn, french fries). My weight has yo-yo'd up and down by 40 pounds since my second daughter was born 6 years ago. I have the most success with Weight Watcher's points program and have managed to keep most the weight off...at least the top 20lbs...but I definitely eat from an emotional place. I haven't lost weight as a result of therapy except the...Read More...

First, Happy Thanksgiving to all those who celebrate. And a Happy Day to everyone else! I, unfortunaely, am not in a very thankful mood. But if was, I would be thankful for... Forget it, I just typed about 3 lines and thought - I really do not feel that way right now. Maybe I will be able to express things later. KSRead More...

Hi mlc, I posted a similar question once on another thread. The only difference is, I was asking because I didn't feel the hate part, but a lot of fear instead. But I got some answers that might be helpful to you. Just in case you haven't found it yet, here's the link to that thread: The love-hate flip-flop And here's a more in-depth explanation of feelings evoked in therapy. It's a link to the Guide to Psychology website that I've found very helpful. You might have to scroll down maybe a...Read More...

Hello, A., and welcome to the forums! By the way, you are the 200th registered member. There really should be some kind of virtual prize for that. I don't have a lot of advice other to say that if it were me, I would take the opportunity for closure while I have it. Especially because it sounds like she has helped you. Perhaps she might have some ideas on how to help you transition to another T. Is it possible she has some connections with other T's in the area you're moving to and could...Read More...

SG, I think your story could be anybody else's story as well. Things didn't work out, but if it was any of us in your shoes, it probably would go the same. I also fear termaination, I can't imagine I would have to leave now or anytime. However I think that we are all like children with Them, and a child can't bear the thought of not being with the parent anymore. People who have good parents don't stop loving them when they grow up, but they are ready to leave, be away from their parents. I...Read More...

AG, actually that helps a lot. This transference topic has been really fuzzy in my mind. Right now I can relate to the ambivalence that you talked about of wanting to move closer, yet being afraid, and just feeling crazy out-of-control in not understanding why I am obsessing over it. I am so glad you take the time to share what you have learned over the years. I wish I could get to where I need to be by osmosis of your posts and not have to learn it all the hard way!Read More...

Hi Dharma and welcome to the Board. You pose very interesting questions and I have read all of the responses. I don't think there is any easy answer to this. I have been seeing my T for two years now and the thought of ever leaving him terrifies me and sends me into tears of grief. It's even hard for me to read this thread. I don't agree with the article you quoted and I don't believe there really has to be a final good-bye when you leave. So for me, if I ever get to the point where I leave...Read More...

Thank you both for your replies. First off, I do not take any offense to any advice given. I appreciate any advice, and the thought behind it. Attachment Girl - we were both young when we met, I was 15, he was 18. We, or at least I, wasnt thinking long term at the time. We just kinda grew together, and moulded to each others lifestyles, and have not been apart since. The reason I married him is because he is an amazing man. He makes me feel very secure. He is a good provider, and a very...Read More...

I really admire the fact that you went through the steps of recovering alcoholic. I wish my father could do that, but alcohol is too important for him. He probably will never give it up. His father was also alcoholic, somebody before him probably as well. My sister is not in therapy but she would like to do something about her low self-esteem and lack of confidence. These would be her main issues.Read More...

I recently had this conversation with my T! I have a male T and I chose a male T deliberately because I don't trust women professionals and never use women for anything in my life, doctors, dentists, accountants, lawyers etc. If I go down the names in the yellow pages I just immediatlely skip all female names and won't even consider them. I'm not sure why either. I can only think that it is due to my abusive relationship with my mother. I have also worked as a subordinate under female...Read More...