Sorry River for taking over your topic a bit, but it just raised some questions in my head, maybe if I can get them answered I will have some courage to tell things to my T. I did tell my T that I love him, but before I did it I explained things to myself and understood that he doesn't love me and I can't expect that he would, and I made myself believe that I don't need that as long as I can love him, see him, and be able to tell him about my feelings. I don't know if it works that way.Read More...

Hi Halo, I'm sorry Halo, I forgot that your T was having such trouble holding the boundaries. That's incredibly crucial to working through transference. My T was incredibly compassionate and very emotionally accessible through all this but his boundaries were also very clear and very steady. It was confusing enough working through my feelings with him holding still. I can't imagine being able to do it if he hadn't held still. I hope the new P can hold still for you so you can work through...Read More...

Hey Amazon, it's a good thing Very Very good thing. I admire your T. Of course some clients will google thier T's If you can't find any information about your T on the internet. It's best for clients. + if your T wants full privacy, he wouldn't put anything about himself on-line anyways...Read More...

Wow, wow, wow. What a great response. And what great honesty from you! I have to admit that I am completely and utterly jealous! I would have loved my T to say something like that. The closest to it for me was when he said, with great emphasis, "I KNOW you". It was as if it hit me right at my very core. I still think about it now. I feel like he walks around with a part of me with him. I think about him everyday and a number of times. I think about him in a parental manner,the manner of a...Read More...

I just found this thread today. I know it isn't that old, but it was still before I joined the forum. I am so increasingly overwhelmed with this love-hate battle towards my T in my mind that I don't think I can articulate it right now. But I just wanted to thank those who have posted their experiences on this thread because you have described it better than I ever could, and it helps knowing I am not the only one -- that maybe I am not going to disintegrate and maybe I am not becoming...Read More...

Thanks, AG! I hadn't thought of this as a sign of my healing at all, but it is very encouraging to hear you say that, especially because it brings to mind other posts of yours where you've described short times of feeling clearer coming more often and staying longer. That gives me a lot of hope. Thank you! SGRead More...

MH That's awesome that you took such a risk and showed that letter to your T. I know how scary that can be and it was very courageous of you to give it to her. I'm even happier that your T reacted so well and that you were able to find out that your perceptions were wrong. This kind of disruption and repair are a really important part of the healing that happens in therapy. You should be really proud of yourself. AGRead More...

Hi MH, My first T was a woman and in the course of our work together (which stretched over a span of 20+ years on and off) she revealed to me that she had also suffered CSA. She definitely shared it to help me not feel so alone and to not be ashamed of myself for what was done to me. I understand you being worried but there's something very important that would be extremely hard to get on a "gut" level from where you are now. Once someone has worked through their issues and feelings about...Read More...

Thanks for sharing more about your experiences, Deja Vu. You have had some pretty unusual and difficult circumstances in therapy and I'm sorry to hear about all the pain it has put you through. A good friend and I were just talking the other night about how dogs are so wonderful, because where else can you get that much unconditional love? So I just had to smile at this: SGRead More...

Hi Jones, thank you. Your words have brought me a lot of comfort.Read More...

Hi Deja Vu - I get that hesitation too - it frustrates me! something my T did that really helped was to tell me she thought that silence was my way of getting space that I needed, and that it was an important part of our work. Weirdly, since she said that, I haven't struggled for words anywhere near as much! I wonder if your 'inability' to talk is protecting you too - while you gather the information you need to establish trust. Sounds like you went through such a rough time losing your P in...Read More...

Hi River- I don't think we have ever talked, but I had to comment on that priceless picture. If my t cancelled an appointment, I would have to fire him...again. Thanks for making me smile, and I get to practice that pout- that was a good idea shrinklady.Read More...

Thanks, MH! And I didn't think there was anything wrong with what you said about interacting with a particular gender. That's been on my mind a lot anyway so I wanted to discuss it and I'm glad you brought it up. I hope your session goes well today! SGRead More...

Very well put. Our former couples T and my current T told me that I'm "persistent" and "assertive" in asking for what I need. As if there was some kind of virtue in it. My response was, what else am I going to do? I have no where else to go. Better words for my persistence might be "driven by pain". But that's usually what it takes for me to make changes. SGRead More...

Hi Russ, Thanks for your post, that was really cool. It's really interesting to think of that rubber fog as a resistance thing - I hadn't considered that at all. It's hard to imagine that I am in control of that, though I know subconsciously I must be. Yes, I totally want to figure it all out! You should see me on the internet, looking up things that might have been mentioned or implied... actually, that's how I ended up on this message board. I guess I'm scared if I don't keep a few steps...Read More...

Hi Amazon. I'm not in your situation but I think you shouldn't be so hard and demanding of yourself. I'm sure you're upset and worried about the whole situation and I hope you're ok. All I can say is that my relationship with my ex looked so so different once i started going to therapy. I didn't go to therapy until well after we'd broken up but it gave me great insight into why I did the things I did in the relationship. I don't know if I could've gotten that clarity while still in the...Read More...

Hi Curious. I have to agree with Russ. I'm having the opposite feelings to you at the moment, I just can't cry really. So when I actually do it's a huge relief, it feels good. But at the moment I can't and I don't know why. So I guess things are different for everyone but right now I'm envious of your uncontrollable crying! Sorry that I don't have something more constructive to say. Take care! Mrs. PRead More...

Hello Hal, and welcome. I had a similar experience with my T being insensitive about something. (thought I had let it go) Then a few more small things happened; I let those go too. These little things began to erode the relationship, and he picked up on it. With rejection being my huge weakness, I was afraid to be honest. When we finally talked, and I was able to share all of it, he sincerely apologized, and our relationship became stronger- much stronger. This may not be your situation at...Read More...

Hi Summer, Couldn't have said it better myself. This forum is full of people who are so insightful and the help given to people who are struggling with their therapy is so valuable. What a fantastic way to think about this experience. I keep telling myself that to go back to my exT would be such a waste of energy, emotion and money. I have spent thousands too and it has been more damaging than therapeutic. Thanks Summer.Read More...

AG, I appreciate knowing you have had all these same feelings. I am so glad for you that you have the relationship with your T that you do. That is what I would personally hope for myself. I imagine that it takes a special T person to be as available to their clients as what we sometimes need them to be. I don't think all Ts are up to the task. I'm trying to figure out if mine is, without getting hurt in the process. How can one know when it is, or is not, safe to move towards someone? Very...Read More...

Hi Mrs Prufrock, Thanks so much for the welcome. Yeah, a brain-holiday would be really nice! Often when I'm doing lots of anxious-thinking (and thinking about the thinking, and thinking about the thinking about the thinking) I can't see where it's coming from. Maybe learning more about the feelings will help. I also find I can interrupt it with exercise, dancing (my passion!) and sometimes other stuff. Can't always do this, but sometimes.... hope you get comfy with the therapist soon. JRead More...

Hi Mrs. P, TYVM for your welcome here and for your kind words! I sincerly believe that all who frequent these forums all have strength and courage & that everyone's stories are an inspiration to all concerned! Ty so much for you're condolences!Read More...