Hi SpaGirl, I love how you handled this with your mother today. It sounds like you set a boundary, and she noticed. I think it's okay to set boundaries when someone's behavior is poisoning us, even if that person is our mother, father, etc. From your description of how you feel, it sounds very much like how I feel when someone's behavior is toxic to me. Your post has been on my mind all day today, partly because my mom's mom's death on Sunday morning has brought me back in contact with my...Read More...

Thanks for your replies, Mrs. P and HB. I had a good appt with my P. As expected, he was worried that I had SI'd and we explored that. He does care about me and I need to believe that he will be there for me no matter what--I don't have to create an emergency for him to respond to my need to have contact. It's soooo hard sometimes. I have been rejected so much in my life that feeling rejection is so automatic even if it's just in my mind. He is going to see me again this week which is an...Read More...

To add my 2 cents ... To me: T means therapist ... can be a psychologist, counselor, psychiatrist. Someone you talk to for an hour regularly. P means psychiatrist, psychopharmachologist, APRN, someone who prescribes meds. It's possible for a single doctor to do both, in which case, I think it depends on the posterRead More...

Hi Helle, Sorry I didn't get to you sooner. I don't know if any of my waffle will help but I'll try my best to make suggestions, I feel it is up to you and your T to find the proper answers. I think it's perfectly natural to go numb. Were you talking about something particularly difficult at the time? Trying to make yourself feel something that you don't feel is quite impossible in my opinion. It seems like you were overwhelmed or didn't want to feel a particular emotion, however...Read More...

Hi Echo(and everyone else ) I've been avoiding this topic for a while because it was so firmly implanted in my thoughts, I couldn't bare to discuss it in more detail. I think my T was CBT, at least that's the impression I got from his work with me, nothing was explicitly said or if it was it was too long ago I think I fell for my T quite early on. I wasn't surprised, it happens often to me with men who appear kind or caring-I always develop feelings or attraction based on that. However,...Read More...

I know what you mean about being triggered but not being sure why or what about. I am the same with rainy weather, it really depresses me. I wish I could offer some suggestions to help you but I am anxious at the moment too and not finding much that helps me. Talking about it helps, here and with friends/family. That feeling of dread is the worst hey?Read More...

I refer you to LAST year's post - November 30, 2008! http://psychcafe.ca/eve/forums...431083026#5431083026 .Read More...

If you get a feedback form, can I fill it out for you? Please, pretty please?Read More...

I saw my "T" today and I can't say things were definitely worked out but they're better. I'm going to take a month off (my decision) and we'll go from there. I have been looking into maybe changing. I called several over the last couple days, they always ask why I'm thinking about changing so I tell them and three of them told me my current "T" is attracted to me. They even went into detail about why they think that. One of them wanted me to confront her about it. They said tell her you've...Read More...

Thank you for your replies, they are very comforting. It is very reasurring to know that I am not the only one who feels this way. SG yes the look was definitely seductive and very intense. Mrs P (love your new name) - I have always felt judged and criticised by him. Some of the things he has said such as when we were talking about how much I hate my body he said "some men prefer larger women". That made me very upset and I felt like a freak that only men with freakish fetishes would want. I...Read More...

Dear AG and HB! Thank you, thank you, thank you for pushing me to continue with my T! Limbic resonance is what he does best without reading the book. My T really knows how to smooth things out with me even though I couldn't share with him all that was going on (because I didn't know). Most of the miscommunication was because I had to change my appointment and he was not getting back to me. He apologized, and explained how to best get this done. Sometimes he does not set clear boundries, and...Read More...

Hi SD, I'm start backwards (as usual!)- I don't think you need to fret about helping people on here, if you can it's fine and if you don't feel like it then don't push yourself. IF all you want to do is just vent and let it all out I think that's fine. Just my opinion. As for your T, I'm sure it's hard for both of ye, not just her. She's just as eager as you to help you through all of this and there's no (fortunately or unfortunately) set time limit. We're all different, we all have...Read More...

Hi Summer. it's interesting to hear about your relationships with your current P and T and how they vary from that of your ex-P. I think that is the main problem with close relationships with T/Ps-that it is so hard for others to measure up to them afterward. It can also be the case that what works for you was more in line with the way your ex-P worked than your current one. But I'm thinking it might be good to try out something new for a change, and it doesn't seem as if the current T is...Read More...

I am a bit afraid that my transference can turn erotic at some stage. I didn't really get a chance to discuss it yet since I am still a bit afraid of talking to him openly about how I feel about him. I don't really feel desire, I do know that I feel love and some sort of admiration. However sometimes I am trying to imagine him and me in some erotic action. This fantasy doesn't quite work out. It is like I am trying to find out if there is a posibility of me having this kind of fantasies...Read More...

Hey SpaGirl. Thanks for your support and advice though I must admit it is particularly hard for me at the moment to think about my ex-T doing anything wrong, as I'm missing him so much at the moment I tend to get quite defensive of him anyways and I had kinda accepted his word on this one cos nothing seemed to be working for me. I only seem to be able to go to extremes, I do try to control it but therein lies the problem, it becomes all about control. It is extremely difficult for me to be...Read More...

So, things have moved along and we are each trying to see new people however we still have to share the same house for financial reasons. (Until it sells.) She's told me about her love interest that she hasn't really spoken to. I know that she's been attracted to a man 20 years her elder that she works with. It's a serious concern for me on many levels. She started perusing him before we separated. Finding this out left me devastated. I was still trying to work on our marriage but she had...Read More...

The way I understand "Buddhahood" or "Buddha nature" is our innate Godliness. I grew up in a Christian everything (the people, the state, my Grandmother, etc.) although we never attended church, Christianity are the thoughts I've been taught. Then I learned about Nichiren Buddhism and my own thoughts evolved. Personally, I "believe" in "God". I envision "God" as inherent in everything and everyone. Simply put, like the sun's rays originate from the sun, the heat reaches all the way to Earth...Read More...

Hello. Well, it's been over 2-weeks since learning The News and my hormones and humor have improved immensely! Thank Goodness. Your words and experiences have helped me feel less alone. My clients have also helped to greatly improve my attitude. Just yesterday, a regular came in and announced that she wants a divorce from her husband! I laughed and told her that she wasn't the first, she is actually third in line! She is the third client this year who has either already filed or who is...Read More...

Hi Samy, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad, but thanks for letting us know, I have been thinking of all of you. I know how difficult this can be, please take good care of yourselves. You'll all be in my prayers. AGRead More...

Hey SG! Like so many other topics on this forum, this one was of interest to me due to my own experiences as well as wanting to show support to all of you who have been so open. I'm about to go through the process of finding a new T and dreading it to be honest. It's almost like a forced break up with an old boyfriend and being told to find a new partner straight away. My old T was adamant that i find someone soon and it almost feels wrong not to leave time to grieve and feel hurt. I'm...Read More...

Thanks Z for your great reply. I did end up calling my P and when he called me back he (as I should have known) was great, offered me his support. He wasn't upset or threatening termination--not anything close. Your advice was right on target. I will see him in 5 days and talk about my neediness and my fear of abandonment more.Read More...

Hi HB. Thanks so much for your words of support. I just feel like no-one (as in those around me, not people on here as they've been great!) understands how I feel about my T and ending with him. The few close friends I have told have nodded and hoped that I feel better but I know they think I'm a bit odd, it's not something they have encountered themselves and find it hard to understand that I could care so much about someone I barely know. And I'm fed up with trying to trivialise it or say...Read More...

Hi HB, It is probably a good idea that I do not help him with his house; as that will mean spending more time with him and I seriously do not need that! Just in not seeing him for this month has eased a lot of those feelings away from me; plus I am extremely busy on the farm getting stuff buttoned up for winter. Yesterday afternoon and today I had no thoughts of him all day. A definite improvement. I am really trying hard. During the times when I was so obsessed with him and he was on my...Read More...

Hi FrankB I'm new here as well. I also kind of did not what was expected from me, but I didn't really have to deal with the kind of pressure you had to. Since I am not really good at offering good advices or comforting people I just want to wish you good luck with whatever you will undertake. Hope you will find your path and your place.Read More...

Hi HB! It is so good to hear from you again! I've been wondering where you were. I've read your previous posts - you have had more than your share of trials this year, haven't you. I'm so glad your uncle is doing better. And I'm sorry to hear of your SIL's illness - infection is a very scary thing - but I'm glad to hear she's on the road to recovery. And what a blessing you are to your SIL, taking care of her son like that. You are walking through all of this with an amazing amount of grace.Read More...