That's an important one too AG, thanks! I started reading "reinventing your life" today which is a less technical book about schema therapy. Mistrust/abuse is the schema i am most bothered with at the moment. And it lists ways it can show in relationships. I found it quite eye-opening so thought I might share: I can see many of these things in my life and this makes me more aware of them so i can try to tackle them one by one. LTFRead More...

It's so hard to see someone you love die. I'm sorry man. I think that the best you can do ius really be with him where he is at. It seems that he has reached the point of acceptance, which is a hard stage for most close friends and family members to accept. The best thing you can do is sit there, wtch tv, laugh, and if he wants talk about what is happening to him. Also, take care fo yourself. I have not had someone as close as a parent pass yet...so I am lucky. I don't even know how I would...Read More...

I think I've known one guy who's gone to therapy, but I know many who really should be going.Read More...

As a male I can tell you that you are not being "too female." Nor is he being "too male." There seem to be some big issues here that need resolving. One, why can't he see or tell you that this was a dangerous path to take. It is very common in marriages with children for partners to lose that spark. I know I experienced the same thing with my wife. It feels good to hae attention from atractive women. You can love your wife, and tell yourself you would never cheat, but it can happen, and is...Read More...

DBT is not only group but also individual therapy. If you you put much weight in research it has been prove to be the most effective therapy for BPD. That being said...it doesn't mean it will be right for you. You need to do what works. There are parts of DBT which I love and others I could do without. It does, however, provide a good base of learning your emotions and how to not let them rule your life. I would also say that BPD is a label that gets thrown around alot. Do not let yourself...Read More...

Usually when you fel like it's time to end therapy is a good time to really explore why you feel that way. It is a good time to examine how this pattern of becoming able to be close and wanting to leave is like the other relationships in your life.Read More...

Hi HB..... I bet your assumption is right on for most people, obviously is for me anyway. Thanks for your reply. Hope you're doing well? I'm glad, real glad to be settling in here. My mom and dad came to visit today. They are frail...my dad nearly died last year, had heart surgery then a stroke. I guess I don't need to say he is not the same. Attachment stuff and my love for them is tugging at me tonight. Ahh....somedays I wish I didn't have feelings.Read More...

Thank you for posting this. I honestly thought I was the only one in the world that went through this agony waiting for mail. It is comforting to know I am not alone.Read More...

I read your post and you were thinking that I think you are my counselor who is pretending to be someone else??? wow, that's very dangerous assumption LTF no no no …Read More...

cera, It sounds like you are in pain and suffering from a good amount of anxiety and stress - trying to handle all of this alone is not a good idea. Calling your P would be a really, really good idea I think. I've been through lows like this and have been so tempted to drink or anything to feel different because feeling better seemed impossible and feeling anything different would have been better. I found though that trying to do it all by myself never worked because I would get too caught...Read More...

Hi CT, I will miss your posts alot! and like AG said, I've really appreciated your insight and honesty as well! Good Luck to you and I wish you the best! mlcRead More...

Hi Robin, Massage therapy sounds a lot better than regular therapy. I really hope it helps with your headaches. I've only had a massage a few times, but I must say, you really do feel wonderful afterwards. AGRead More...

Thank you guys for thinking of me This week has been really rough, but I'm doing better. I saw my T this morning and talked about how angry I was at him and frustrated with how hard he was on me Monday. I told him I'd been thinking about this lolcat - and changing the caption to: "Don't u 'nice therapist' me - u no longer hab a nice therapist" He asked if I was talking about him no longer being a nice therapist or me no longer being a nice patient. Heh, I told him it worked both ways I...Read More...

I think that too, that is, it is mighty powerful! yet sometimes I wonder if we are going to figure when to stop. And it's migihty expensive. And we're broke. Why doesn't insurance or anything pay for it when it's essential for some us? Like we have a dx and all but noone will still pay for it. SamyRead More...

Hi Luna, I just wanted to say welcome to the site, sorry not to say it sooner, life was a little overwhelming this past week and I'm way behind in the posting. I'll chime in with everyone else's comments and tell you this is an amazing place with incredibly supportive, and wise, people. I'm looking forward to getting to know you. AGRead More...

Hi MLC, i feel the same way sometimes too, though probably not as much as I used to. It's really unnerving, feeling yourself go from a high-functioning adult to a scared little child as soon as you sit in your T's office... that's how it was for me. And I got angry with myself for feeling so childish around her. I felt pathetic. It's a good idea to talk to your T about it. Maybe you could write about it too, and take it just in case you can't find the words while you're there? WAI - i love...Read More...

Hi Helle! Nice to meet you! I'm so glad you posted! It takes a lot of courage to jump in here and I'm so glad you did! I think you said that perfectly! It's so true... processing/working through everything IS work but it just doesn't feel that way sometimes... it's hard to measure and even harder to be satisfied with on a daily basis. CONGRATULATIONS!!- I think... Therapy is such a mixed bag of struggle and success and PAIN and love that I never quite know what to say... hmm... how about I'm...Read More...

Dear Ballboy89, It is difficult to move away from your childhood friends and on top of that to have to adjust to being away at college. Do any of your friends from college invite you home for weekends? That is an extra way of bonding with new friends. About your Mom and Dad,sorry...no matter when divorce occurs, it is hard. You think you are mature and then you are blindsided with this news. Wherever your Father moves to, can you live with him when you are away from college? Do remember that...Read More...

Dear Catgirl, I am so sorry about your loss. Since you decided not to fly because of cost maybe the folks out there might have a little Memorial service when you can be there in July. Would there be anyone who would do that...so you can get some closure? It also helps to remember and write down the things (positive) you remember about her...you could share with those close to her or keep it to yourself. If you want to tell us, we would be glad to listen. Peace, LunaRead More...

CT--Thank You sooo very much for sharing this with me...it helps me a great deal to read about what you felt and how you handled your feelings(and how they changed)!!! Your post brought me to tears...for the thoughtfulness, vulnerability, and beauty of it....mlcRead More...

Here we tak a lot about 'baby steps' meaning take it slow (oh, another saying here 'slow down') all this means is to take it easy on yourself, go slow. sorry you're in so much pain! that's hard to live with. scottRead More...

I understand what you are saying about being leery of pain meds. It sounds as though you know yourself well enough to be cautious. My husband (27 years chronic pain guy) has an implanted dilauded pump which delivers the stuff straight to his spine. In addition, he takes morphine for the pain that the pump doesn't handle. (Breakthrough pain) Here is what my H says about addiction to pain medication. He says that as long as you take the medication for pain, it is incredibly unlikely that you...Read More...

Hi Anyone, just wanted to let you know that I am out here listening. I am sorry that I don't have better answers for you today, but I am listening. i hope that you don;t cancel your appts, It is very hard to face our fears; it can be extremely overwhelming. I complelely understand how you feel. It is a very scary thing to do. In a lot of ways, the way I look at it, is, as hard as it is, facing those fears do provide us tools we need for ourselves to be better prepared for day to day life. I...Read More...

Hey Jo I had same experience. When I called crisis line. They were busy. I got a voice mail. I thought it was really ridiculous. No offence. I guess they are short of volunteers or there are too many ppl who need to talk to someone. That’s the last time I used crisis line. I felt like another rejection and felt really ridiculous about hearing voice mail. How irony that was… I just laugh about it now… but at the same time it’s very sad thing…Read More...