Thanks for the warm welcome back! It's nice to be missed RobinRead More...

Well, This is a long long long OLD response to this question but maybe it is still relevant. I went through a ACT Intervention for people with chronic pain at the VA (im not a vet but it was open to anyone). It was EXCELLENT and I am the VERY cynical type. It is a type of mindfulness, well it involves mindfulness but it is more active and radical in the sense that you work on reaching what you actually WANT in life along with whatever it is that is going on. For me, it has helped me make...Read More...

Hi Karie; LOL, that's funny you said that because I was just thinkin the same thing the otherday as I was about to write 'eh' in a message. Like CG said; It's true I've been reading and thinking about whats going on with you, and wishing for everything to work out well for you. I just haven't known what to say It sounds like you are prepared for your move and though it's going to be hard to start over somewhere else, you'll do it! You sound like a very resilient woman and you will succeed Be...Read More...

Hi Pattie; You sound like you're leaving us! I hope not. I'm glad to hear that you have decided to get another referral. The whole idea about therapy is to give you consistency and someone you can count on to be there when they are supposed to be. It's a big step, but will likely be the best thing for you! Be well! HollyRead More...

Hi Vik! Welcome! I'm glad you're hear and hope that you find this place to be a comfortable resource for information and support. Looking forward to hearing from you. -CTRead More...

Thank you for your support and guidence. My T told me today that I'm not asking for "too much". And my Mom said the same thing. (I thanked her, QG.) I still feel like I am, but some of this guilt has got to be part of my depression. I feel like the anxiety is driving me insane. I keep thinking if I fix all the things I worry about like house repairs and cleaning then my anxiety will stop...but doesn't. My thoughts just skip to the next thing that might stop the anxiety and depression. It's...Read More...

Hi Karie.... We have actually had book discussions. You may be interested in reading this thread: http://psychcafe.ca/eve/forums...1009181/m/5061071674 It is a discussion about General Theory of Love. We should start a new thread about the book Attachment in Psychotherapy once some of you have had a chance to read it. TNRead More...

I have to really wonder about this kind of approach to therapy. If we are attachment injured, which we are!, then healing comes in an experience dependent way. If you feel you need to be comforted, then you do!.....who knows better about what you need than you??.....if these therapists would move out of there own fear and follow the lead of the client, then maybe change would really start to happen. It has been healing for me to have a therapist move over and sit beside me and wrap her arms...Read More...

Thanks you two! I am relieved to have not gone to pieces. In the piece that I made him, it said, "Thanks for helping me save myself..." and in Spanish, "I will fly with your faith in my heart." I agree with you -- and I think that is what drives a therapist to be the best listener they can be during the hour. They want us to heal ourselves. That said, I know that having BPD means constant vigilance on my part to see the world with eyes in the present...a difficult challenge, sometimes on an...Read More...

Hi Holly, I didn't see that you responded either until today. You might have read in other posts how things are progressing with me and this job thing. I should have moved on from here a year or so ago....the thing I have learned from this whole thing is that next time I'll listen closer to what my body is telling me through the amount of stress and dysregulation I feel on a regular basis...I think if I'd listened I'd have worked harder to leave much sooner, probably before the suicide even...Read More...

Thanks Heather, When I move out of the feeling bad about almost everything including my right to breathe, I see the other side to living that is so much more positive. Once I got going today after talking to a couple of friends, I felt better. I have been trying to do a few more things towards moving, started to pack and get rid of stuff etc. My boss called this afternoon asking when I was coming back to work! I didn't have to pick up the phone even though I thought it might be her...just...Read More...

Hi Hope, I just wanted to pop in to say "HI" and welcome you to the forum. Glad to hear that you found someone you feel you can connect with! That's all we want .. right!? HollyRead More...

Hey there Yina .. missed ya in here! I'm glad that you are going to give this a whirl. I think that it's important for people to take a step back from therapy to stretch their wings and see if they can apply the things that they had learned in the theraputic process. So good for you Tina! I guess the other side to that is while you are going on your own .. you need to be receptive to signs of slipping back to patterns that took you to therapy in the first place. NOT THAT IT IS GONNA HAPPEN...Read More...

Hi Flicka .. I laughed when you said that you tell yourself to shut up. All I could imagine was seeing you do that in a mall or something LMAO I'm sure people would only think you had turrets LOL that's not so bad is it? I don't have to worry about C/T because there isn't any from my P .. she's str8 ... whats with that. Not to mentions she's 25yrs my senior, and just mentioning a relationship with that age gap in here will get you strung up and stoned by the town folk! LMAO THAT WAS A JOKE...Read More...

Hi just orange, I agree with QG about the trust. How on earth can she expect you to trust her after 5 sessions!? It took me a very long time to trust my T too. Probably 18 months for complete trust. And that's not her fault, it's just a process. There's a balance between letting someone in and protecting yourself, and a T needs to work WITH you to earn your trust. You can go in there and talk to her about things you wouldn't tell anyone else but that still doesn't mean you trust her...Read More...

Hi CG ... I didn't want to have to tell you this, but umm, picture viewing is reserved for the smartasses in the house, not the 'NICE' people, so stop being so damn nice all the time. LOL Kidding Not sure why you can't see the pictures, maybe your computer has a security thing blocking access or something. HollyRead More...

AWE COME ON!!!!! I know you aren't THAT nice! Hi again Catherine. Yeh, 12 is a lot. I would think 3-6 would work out a bit easier. Mind you I would be pretty excited (if I were single of course) if I have the option of finding 2 people to date let alone 12! So I assume you let your b/f go? You'll heal, but don't take forever doing it You don't want to keep Mr. Right waiting! LOL If you want to chat about how your feeling, just post again and we'll be here for ya HollyRead More...

HI Linus .. I mean AG Did you just insinuate that I'm NUTS!!!!! ????? Cuz you could be in for a mouthful there girl! tsk tsk tsk Did this need a disclaimer attached? LOL I hope not Hmmm, incase you didn't get it ... Linus is the kid that drags his blankie around with him in Charlie Brown. Keep SMILING!! HollyRead More...

THANK YOU! Your reassurances of being here during this difficult time is a relief! I so appreciate all of you. I will try to check in here every day and comment. Thanks for being here for me.Read More...

MP, I don't know that much about your background so this may be way off, but you mentioned abandonment issues. What I have learned through my relationship with my T that I was really unaware of before working with him is that moving close to someone evokes a lot of fear and a desire to head in the other direction because it turned out so badly before. As we let down our guard and start to trust, our relationship template know as our attachment style, kicks in and tells us we're in danger and...Read More...

SB, Most survivors of abuse feel the same way (I know I did for a LONG time) because to believe that it really was your parents fault when you were a child was to lose your "good" parent who was necessary to your survival. It would also leave you face to face with an overwhelming sense of powerlessness and your inability to change what was happening to you. If it was your fault, then you "might" be able to fix it so you retained some sense of control over what was essentially a very out of...Read More...

I'm supposed to be on my way out to the Shrink already .. but this is always a more enjoyable place to be in the morning LTF Sorry for assuming you hadn't read my post to SG, you seemed far too supportive to have done so. I'm glad that you didn't find me to be too abrasive in it and supported my opinion. I've realised though that I was inappropriate and should have proceeded differently, expecially considering I had never exchanged notes with SG before and hadn't developed an idea of how...Read More...

Thank you (((CG)))Read More...

Catgirl, Thank you for responding so thoughtfully to my post. I am not at all offended and I appreciate you hearing me. Sorry I didn't answer earlier, I was having a totally unrelated meltdown. And honestly, my emotional reaction felt like I might have been triggered which means I was reacting to more than was going on. So the same here, I'm sorry if I hurt you or offended you. And I definitely didn't mean to send you towards a pit; this isn't even close to anything that bad. I hope we're...Read More...

River, I echo your sentiments. I have now talked about the transference, or we call it attachment, stuff many times with my T, yet every time, I feel like it's the first time all over again. She has only responded in a kind, loving way, so these feelings come from me. Here's what happens with me. I'm always down on the floor wrapped up in a blanket and my jacket, usually on my tummy with my face to the ground. She is usually down there next to me with her hand on my back or head or holding...Read More...