CT I am always a little paranoid that I'm going to screw up the relationship with my T and he'll drop me as a client. Today, he said (a little exasperated), "It seems like you are always trying to convince me that you are so horrible, and to tell you that you are bad but I'm not going to do it! That isn't what I think about you! You are just you, so there isn't any judgment involved." Of course, I was mortified. lolRead More...

{{{{{{ Catgirl }}}}}}Read More...

A number of years ago, I asked about a diagnosis. My therapist kindly tells me that I'm "troubled" and we left it at that. Lately, I've been sort of struggling with the question again, I've got a different therapist now. But then, I kind of like "troubled" - it does the job and doesn't make me feel like I'm ill or broken, just ... experiencing technical difficultiesRead More...

Russ, It sounds so familiar. I was always wanting my T to fix it for me. To give me the answers or to fix me. That was me wanting to be rescued by her. I still do want to be rescued. I'm not over that yet. I know now that she can't fix every problem that I have, but now I want her to adopt me and be my mom. If she does that, she'll fix it all for me. . . and she will rescue me, and through rescuing me, she will abandon me, so I know that she won't do that. That's why this transference thing...Read More...

Its not at all bad to have the sexual fantasies for you T whether they are male or female. Everyone has them. I think about having sex with my P all the time. I havent told him that yet but I am sure he knows and it will come up some time. But I do have a T that I have also been working through transference with through email, and I told him everything I think about. Its easier to be honest through email when you dont have to see their face when they hear what you are saying. My T tells me...Read More...

Yes! I'm so glad we're back too! Thanks Shrinklady!Read More...

Thanks Holly !Read More...

Did you say before that he said you could contact him by phone, but just for three months? If you think it might help to slowly let go, then go ahead and make the calls (with fewer expectations, like you said above). I have continued contact with my son's T, who I became very attached to. We stopped seeing her in December, but I still see her in town occasionally and at a parent support group every month or so. I have emailed her occasionally and talked with her a little about some issues...Read More...

Re: The Angry B***H WithinRead More...

I miss my therapist. She's out of town for two weeks. I usually see her on Mon and Wed, and she calls me on Fridays. So, it's so hard to not have any contact with her. She gave me 6 short letters for when she's gone, one for each day that I usually have contact with her. I have been strictly instructed to open them on the day that I usually talk with her. So, I opened one on Wed., and I get to open one tomorrow, Yay! I'm counting time based on these cards. 1 down, 5 to go! I'm still having...Read More...

Please do, Tina, Please do. I hope it goes well and that you are able to say everything you want to say. You are very brave and I hope you and your T recognize this. Good luck! -CTRead More...

River Today, I asked my T if she feels hurt when I'm angry toward her. She said, "Generally, no, I try to figure out where it's coming from, but if your particularly rough, it does. I am human, after all" So, I guess it does sometimes hurt her feelings after all. I'm glad she was honest with me. catgirlRead More...

Summer, Those mixed messages must be hard! It would be so very painful and frustrating! He's probably conflicted himself. I'm glad you were able to share your thoughts and feelings in a letter, though. It's very strong of you to let it go, and not go through with the final session. It's good that you have your new T to work through this with. Good luck through all of this! CatgirlRead More...

OW, I guess I am dealing with it head on, then. I gave my therapist a long letter, explaining how I felt about the whole thing. I told her directly that I wish she was my mom and why. After the letter, we didn't really process it much. I saw her today, but I didn't want to bring up these issues, because I won't see her again for 2 weeks. (I usually see her twice a week, plus she calls me once a week, so the idea of not seeing her for 2 weeks is killing me.) I didn't want to bring this up,...Read More...

Thanks! i always second-guess my own reactions. STill haven't found a bag of pinecones that Samy collected... but that's about it at this point! RobinRead More...

Dysfunctional family behaviors/patterns/illnesses are often inherited by generations to pass.Read More...

Your have courage .......... WizRead More...

CT, HB thanks for this exchange! I have been at my mum's for a week and reading your thoughts on guilt is a great reminder of why I'm feeling shit. And to soften those inner voices if nothing else. SBRead More...

Thanks AG, HB! I thought I had done quite well with a few new coping strategies in place. But the visit has brought up so much that I am still unaware off. Just feeling the after effect in as much as my concentration is down, my stress are levels up and being gentle with myself, what was that again?????? SBRead More...

I see your point, robin. Summer, I can see why this is a difficult decision for you. Even after your last session, you'll probably keep wanting to just talk to him again, because you really like him. But if there were things that were unresolved, then go. Maybe he can use his therapeutic expertise to help you put closure.Read More...

CT, So glad to hear you're doing/feeling better. It's amazing how one good session can turn things around! I think your T speaks the truth about the process going at it's own pace, and that you can't force it. I guess the challenge is to survive while the stuff does it's thing. Like you, I've been going through a really rough stretch lately; really bad fear 24/7, which of course is really depressing. It can be tough to accept this idea and to be patient when it seems so relentless. Anyway,...Read More...

HB I'm welling up like the others...this is an inspiration to the rest of us that there is life after T...thank you. LRead More...

thanks for the reply. i still figuring it out! samyRead More...

BLU, Just to add to what River said...I think some Ts do work with transference but don't talk about it. Mine seems totally open to it, but has never once used the word "transference" even though I have. So, you can ask about it, but you may or may not get the most direct answer because a lot of Ts are careful to not say, "Ok, because of this , you are experiencing this , and as a result you can expect A, B and C to now happen." Keep up updated. RussRead More...

Great advice! That's how we should live, yes?!Read More...