And sometimes it feels like the pain and suffering will never, ever end. I've got the heartbreak and despair down to an art form...anyway I can speed up the joy and healing part?Read More...

That is very touching Summer. Maybe the risk you took to let him in wasn't all bad after all?Read More...

Hi Russ I totally can relate to your being so frustrated and angry. I feel that way alot myself. It's hard when folks ask what is wrong with you and you don't really know. I get that alot. So I say nothing. But that's not really the truth. It feels like everything is wrong. I feel like I just go around begging people to like me or even recognize me, but it seems like they never do. And THAT makes me angry and frustrated and tired of trying. But I can't seem to stop. I don't mean to, I'm just...Read More...

Cooked! I love it. "When will I be done baking!" Oh man, that Onion thing is hysterical. I love the part of "The Natural Way to Feel Shitty" being a diet of corn syrup, white bread and a total lack of exercise, and the bit about reducing costume theme parties is priceless. Great stuff. RussRead More...

Summer, I'm sorry you're facing this and although nothing I think HB said the most important things (and so lyrically and with such truth that it was like listening to a symphony by Beethoven and Mozart combined, HB!) I did want to point out one more thing. The point of therapy isn't that we figure out how to avoid any pain in relationships or become capable of finding a person who will NEVER hurt us. That's impossible because we have to have our relationships with other humans. What we need...Read More...

BUMP.... I just thought I'd bump this to the top... It is my hope that what PL said here is at the heart of what we are all trying to accomplish here. Thanks PL...for giving me such a lovely image after a cold and dreadful day. ((((PL))))) luv your "corny" face. SDRead More...

Slowbitz, That's what I loved about the book, they talk about the neurobiological basis of attachment and how we are hard wired to need relationships but they also recognize love as being at the center of those relationships. They deny neither the science nor what we know to be true within ourselves about our feelings. Really awesome read. I hope you enjoy it. AGRead More...

It happened to me with more than one perp, too. One as a young child and one as a teenager. And then, as an adult, I got into a sexually abusive relationship. I understand the sign thing, both messages that you feel. There's something about patterns. I don't quite understand it, but we repeat patterns. We also repeat family patterns, which is what I did. I ultimately don't feel like it was my fault, but when I go to the child part of me, I feel like I was bad and I deserved it. I don't know...Read More...

The everchanging labels in the DCM doesn't bother me as much as the ever changing views/stigma towards mental illness. That makes treatment very hard or impossible for some ppl to find and receive WizRead More...

I'd like to think I am doing better, but I am not sure. I still cry over him and at times it feels less intense and other times it feels the same. All I know is that I am still confused. I know the psychiatrist told me that I am not in love with my chiropractor and that it just feels like love, but sometimes I think I do really love him and I think I cry because I've never felt this way about a man and it confuses me. And the worse part is that it is a man I cannot have. But then I think...Read More...

Life sometimes sucks. Even more so if you have to work. Please take time for you and go play. Glad this is a planned leave rather unexpected. Hurry back WizRead More...

Thank you so much. It was so easy to do with your help. Thanks Namaste' WizRead More...

Namaste'Read More...

I agree with catgirl, couldn't have said it better myself. I don't think you owe him anything. I wish he would at least give you an explanation and at the very least, give you the names of other Ts who might be good for you. OWRead More...

Hi Wiz, I may have to change my nickname soon too. HB, I am doing okay. My transference feelings are manageable. I've been doing a better job of expressing myself about relationship. I think I will start a new post describing what is going on? I hope your move is going okay.Read More...

I can't imagine going through what you're going through. It's one of the biggest fears of my life. Whatever's going on with him, I think that he owes it to you to give you a little more information. If he is gravely ill, he should have told you when he spoke on the phone with you last. It's not right to just drop you. I would be very angry and hurt. That's just my opinion. Like everyone said, don't take it personally. It's not about you; it's about whatever is going on with him. You will...Read More...

Hi Catgirl. Welcome to the forum. It is an excellent place for support. Everyone here is really great at supporting and encouraging. Sorry about your mom. I lost mine about 2 years ago. It is still very painful, but time does help in the healing process. I wish you luck in starting things over. Glad you have a good T to help you along, too.Read More...

AJB, It is not a sign of weakness to go to therapy; it's a sign of strength. It takes a lot of courage and fortitude to face ourselves, don't tell yourself different. I'm glad you had the courage to go back. AGRead More...

Thanks for sharing Samy. It's a great poem. I Hope you're doing okay... haven't heard much from you on the boards lately. Keep writing! -CTRead More...

Hey...Missing Piece.... I knew we would eventually "find" you. We've been missing you! Great name....LOL.....gave me a good chuckle. Anyway...welcome to the threads. Dive right into any discussion you can relate to, the water is warm. Perhaps you'll find the rest of your puzzle? Sorry...just can't resist the analogies. I think you'll find many people here that you can relate to and will be compassionate to your situation...whatever it may be. SDRead More...

Hi Kats and everyone I was raised being told that only babies cry, or told that if I was going to do 'that' (cry) that I should go to my room to do it where no one could see/hear it. So I learned young to bury my feelings, and now I am a true master. My P has been amazed since day one that I don't show any feeling, and just today I said to her "How am I supposed to 'own' my feelings if I can't even feel anything?". She had some kind of psycho babble for me that didn't answer my question as...Read More...

Attachment girl, you were so helpful! Thank you for answering my question. Its exactly what I was asking. I had to come back and read it a few times. My therapist follows much of Winicott in relation to transference / countertransference and object relations. I am not real up to date on theory. Again I appreciate your explaination MegabyteRead More...

This summer it will be a yearRead More...

quote: I get what you're saying about it being the "obvious" problem. If you'll permit me to say it, I sometimes felt like this about self-harm. If I was bleeding on the outside, then it was obvious .... And the inside matched the outside, so it almost made me feel better. Folks couldn't look at me and _not_ see the pain, right? Wynne- I totally understand what you are saying here. When I was cutting, I felt like it was the only thing in the world that was consistent- finally, something on...Read More...

From Kats not Sea getting my screen names mixed upRead More...