AG, what happens to me in this same situation with my father is that I seem to revert back to a scared, voiceless 6 year old...like literally. It's an awful feeling and I'm not sure what to make of it, but that's where my T tells me that becoming my own person requires being assertive in the face of those who make us feel otherwise. No surprise that it's almost always our parents. Great post. RussRead More...

Good because you're both.Read More...

Kats, Part of the fear that wells up in me when I experience someone's kindness or caring is that it will end all too soon. It isn't always about getting hurt by them but also that my need to be cared for feels insatiable. Any one person can only do so much, there is a limit on everyone's ability to care and pay attention to someone else. Plus if you keep asking they are going to get really sick of you. But just a little attention and caring doesn't hold me over for a while it actually seems...Read More...

thanks for this great suggestion, Robin! my word is definitely : COLORFUL as opposed to black and whiteRead More...

I hope everyone is having a good Christmas. I miss my T too and it's only been 2 days. I envy those of you who are seeing T next week because I won't see him for 13 days. not that I'm counting obsessively LOL. TN, I'm glad your T responded and his surgery went well.Read More...

Hi all, thanks for your support. My christmas eve night went as well as possible. I'm looking forward to spending tomorrow morning and afternoon with just my husband and kids before my big family dinner. I hope everyone is enjoying what they can over the holidays.Read More...

Wynne, I don't know if this is any consolation but after the holidays last year my T told me that while she was visiting her family her and her FOO fell right back into their old roles of relating to each other. Apparently there was some conflict but of course she didn't give me anymore details. But when you are with your FOO it is extremely hard to not be who you were when you were all still living together. Kids especially have firm roles in the family and they totally polarize. One is...Read More...

how cool that story is. i had a similar emotional response to this video which, in some strange way, is one of the most touching things i've ever seen. RussRead More...

Merry Christmas Scott, Robin, Antoni, Toby, Samy, Mary et al! I have loved getting to know all of you this past year. And Merry Christmas to everyone else also. I just want to say thank you to everyone who posts here. I have learned so much from everyone here, and having this community has been such an important part of healing. You're generosity, compassion, and care humble me. Doesn't leave me speechless, but does humble me. May you all know peace and joy this Christmas. AGRead More...

HB & AG, Thanks so much for your replies. At first I was pretty dismissive about the content of my dreams, mostly because my recollection of them is so fragmented and - most of all - I had a hard time facing what they represented. But my T said that to ignore our dream-life is to ignore a huge part of our interior life, and ignoring our interior life is sort of like how our parents ignored us as children. He said that to study our interior life is the greatest act of loving ourself. I...Read More...

We just started university again also (after being home with kids for 14 years!) One thing that helps in feeling grounded is to take a break: go for a walk alone at lunch time, find a quiet coffee shop if it's too cold/wet to walk, taking time off of homework/schoolwork, being organized regarding assignments. Spending time in a hobby also helps balance things. AntoniRead More...

I've got a lot more weight to lose until I could wear Wonder Woman's outfit. Just wouldn't be very pretty right now. I would, however, love an invisible airplane!Read More...

River - That is awesome. Your warm peaceful feelings are permeating through the computer. You made me feel very warm and cozy. Since I should be seeing my T today, but am not, I think I'll just curl up in a corner with the book she gave me to read. I may read some of it, or I may just hug it and think of her. Thanks for sharing your wonderful story. PLRead More...

My parents are deceased so the only "home" I'm going to is my own. I am blessed with a wonderful child and a husband who pitches in with the holiday stuff. My sister is coming with her son and husband so we will be six. They will stay 2 days. We don't see my husband's family because they all live in Italy. I'm missing my T a lot right now. I will hopefully see him in seven days. I just have to get through Christmas. Incognito... good luck at your session tomorrow and let us know how it goes.Read More...

Robin, That is SO awesome! Thanks for letting us know, and I hope you thoroughly enjoy your miracle. Man, I'm going to be grinning for hours, you give me hope! AGRead More...

Lovefest. LOL! I can't help myself River, but when I read this I see myself jumping and rolling around in one of those inflated airwalk/moonwalk bouncy thingies(pardon the technical terms) You know how you just sink right into it and it is so soft and cushiony? Minus the dozen or so screaming, laughing children of course.It's mine, it's all mine. (hehehehehe)Read More...

River, I posted an thread on today's session under the title "Update on today's session". The short answer is that it was better than Wednesday night because I was able to express myself and what I think I need.Read More...

Incognito, I'm glad to hear this session went better. I read your other post and have been hoping this session would turn out better for you. I am impressed that you expressed your needs to your T and were able to have a conversation about it. Getting things out in the open can be very hard. I'm with AG, I think you being able to express your needs was far more important than the answers you got. OWRead More...

OW, It was my Ts willingness to say this to me over and over and over, in session and in phone calls, that taught me to believe it. He was totally committed to giving me as much reassurance as I needed no matter how much that was. Along with telling me that he understood why I needed it. So I totally understand needing to hear it 10 or 10,000 times. AGRead More...

Thanks Toby. I don't know much about DID so I try to learn more so that I can understand the new friends I meet. Your explanation was easy for me to understand. Sorry, since I don't know much about it, I may not use the terms appropriately either. Thanks again for helping me to understand. JMRead More...

Hello Sacred_dreamr It is very brave of you to post what is going on with you. Take it from me I totally understand. I am not sure where you live, but your T has the right to inform the appropriate authorities if you are doing harm to yourself and they fear for your life. I know this as my rehab counsellor called the ambulance on me last week as I was on the verge of doing some damage to myself. They just want to make sure that you are safe. I know that therapy really gets me going...Read More...

thanks, I really appreciate the advice!Read More...

OW, One of the reasons I love my T so much is for the work he's done with my husband and myself. When we started couples counseling I really thought it was over, but I wanted to know I did everything I could. There was actually a point that I looked at my T and asked him if he really thought we had a chance at making it. (My husband had to bow out at the last minute because of work, so I went to the session alone). He actually stopped and thought about it and then said "yes, yes I do." I...Read More...

I think your dreams and your conscious working on different levels is very interesting. I always pay attention to my dreams, when I remember them. In your case, I think that deep down you really know that your T is your secure base, but your conscious just doesn't want to admit it because of your past experience. I've read that when you dream about other people you aren't really dreaming about them, but about some quality you want to possess in yourself, or a quality that you have yourself...Read More...

Kats...I am also nervous about the holidays and not seeing my T for two weeks. The thing I'm holding onto is that he has told me that I can email him and if I really need it ... he can schedule a telephone session. I doubt I would ask him to do that but it's nice to know the offer is out there. I will probably email him or if things get difficult I may call just for that minute of contact that has an amazing calming effect on me. As for not going too deep too soon... I think this is a wise...Read More...