Thanks Yakusoku, The distancing feels so unusual to me. I keep thinking "fine, I don't need you then." It makes me feel like a teenager, in a sense. I will show you(T) that I can be on my own and I don't need you to think you are the "stars and sunshine" in this equation. I am distancing because the last couple of sessions I have felt invalidated. I felt like she was pushing more forwards when at that moment all I really wanted/needed was her to understand or let me sit in this pain. I'm not...Read More...

((yaku)) just wanted you to know I was listening. I've had really bad T nightmares too... I take a non-psychotropic medication for it that is amazing. I still have dreams that serve good content but they are less... intense or stirring up my core stuff. Not sure if you've ever taken something for sleep. I can't relax without getting triggered so I almost need elephant tranquilizers to get me downRead More...

Yaku - Your post wasn't negative, it helped. I'm not sure if I could do once a week or not because... I've actually never (Excepting a 2 month period when I started) had therapy less than 2x a week - it's usually 3 between my two T's and has been four-ish the past 3 months or so, and 5 the last two weeks... but my sessions are just normal length. I'm not sure if it's dependency or consistency, or both. When we're doing hard work it's extremely hard for me to keep the relationship. It gets...Read More...

Thank you so much HIC and Monte for sharing your stories about bringing your husbands into your therapy space. Part of me see why T wants me to do this. H and I are living more like roomates than an intimate married couple these days. We are very alike. I think that surprised T because she was saying people often seek out the relationship they saw as children. H and I are both very avoident personality styles. We say very little of what goes on in our heads. I was telling her Friday that the...Read More...

((((ABOUT)))) This made me very sad. I don't know how old you are or if you are still living at home but I find all this very troubling. Have you talked to T about it? All I can say is that I understand why you would be confused. Of course you want to be important. We all do and we should be important in our little worlds.Read More...

((GE)) hearing you... I'm so sorry you are stuck... I don't have near the responsibilities you do, but I live alone... so I do know what it is like in a way to have no support with anything (no one to help cook, clean, pick you up when you lay down and give up for a bit, etc). It will and can change... it just takes such a dreadful long time. I'm sorry you're feeling defective and unloveable I don't find that true about you at all.Read More...

Hi Twentythree, Welcome to the forums. I think the most important thing about what you wrote is that you are feeling concerned and maybe a little uncomfortable about your Ts behavior. It's hard for someone not in the room to know if this is problematic or he is just building the alliance or thinks you need encouragement. But I understand the people seeing red flags. I think the best thing to do (which is also terribly scary) is to bring this up with him and express to him the concerns you...Read More...

Hi Shaman ~ When my husband and I went to marital therapy he got all upset and walked out. We're not doing that again ! The T. acted as if everything was cool. I never went back. The therapeutic bond was broken. Hopefully, your T. will be reassuring the next time you see her. I see my own personal T.- just works out better.Read More...

Thank you all for your honest answers and suggestions! I love you all here! I'll keep you guys updated on what happens. This board has been a great place for me to vent, get feedback, and give and get support! Thank you!Read More...

Lovely to see you kashley, ditto the above, come back as and when you want and need toRead More...

I definitely feel like it's an energy exchange and covers the expertise. I've met some crappy Ps and Ts during my times in inpatient, groups, and individual therapy. The humanness is definitely a bonus (some Ts do it much better than others, also). I know in my work, and I'm not dealing whatsoever with someone on a deep level like a T, I care about people. I'm paid to help them but.. my genuine concern, respect, empathy and compassion are free and given to most of the people I interact with,...Read More...

I'm feeling really anxious today. I can't eat, wanted to call my T... I can wait I just feel really uncomfortable. I don't think I can talk about this with her. Maybe working through shame in general in another way? I'm trying to "not a big deal" this and my feelings are freaking out. My T said it was a little (young) part that was hurt... that sort of lends me to think it's an immature feeling, ya know? I just hate being vulnerable... Yaku - It's good to know that you'd have felt the same...Read More...

Hollow, I am seeking therapists because I have strong feelings of those myself. I don't know how old you are but I have been having those feelings most of my adult life and now it's so hard for me to bear that it made me find therapists. I believe the problem is we have this inherent beliefs that we are not worthy if our parents do not value us. It's embedded in us since our childhoods. It may be a hard and long journey, but I believe you have hope. HOpe is what keeps me going still.Read More...

You are a great help Starlight! As it turned out it was a long interview. You helped me sort of realize that it wasn't necessarily an IQ test and could be an interview so it didn't throw me of so much when they started doing it.Read More...

I have been with a good Therapist , we have been through alot ups and downs, I have seen him tired, frustarated and happy and he has been there for me , but offcourse he is human and I have finally learned that he is there for me , and after that stage finally came I feel I can move on, but sometimes I am just tired. He has told me its going to take time, but sometimes I feel little bit hopeless, and it makes everythink so much harder, longer that I have no support around me, and he has...Read More...

(((turtle))) i hear your pain and your fear and i'm so sorry you feel so alone and i can't believe that stupid person at the crisis line! i've also had mixed experiences with calling help lines, once i got someone who probably meant well but kept telling me to go and talk to 'someone', but they were the 'someone' i had called!! we are here and won't tell you to go away! gentle hugs, puppetRead More...

((outsider)) Nice to meet you I hear you about how tough that middle ground is. Man it is such a balancing act that proves elusive. Seriously e..lu...sive. It really is exhausting to let all these powerful emotions surge and then numb again. I've been starting to look into some info about regulating emotions, there is some helpful stuff online that comes up with a little looking around. I hope your T's email will be helpful and he will be gentle in going at your pace in processing all these...Read More...

((TK)) I am admittedly not very helpful in this area, but just wanted you to know I hear you as to how unsettling and terrifying that must feel. I wish I had insight but I can offer that I'm thinking of you and hope your T is able to help explain it more and help in processing such intense experience. Sending hugs AHRead More...

((TN)) I can't fathom how to possibly go back to work after a session, you are amazing for having done that!! I am such a slow processor, it usually takes me well into the next day (at least!) before I'm even functioning again. I'm so happy to hear you stuck with it and got such a wonderful response from T!! It feels like so many times there are those moments where it feels like 'I have to stop, I can't do this anymore!' can be right before the best changes. Almost as if those moments are...Read More...

oh my, Liese. money is a huge, huge issue/trigger for me. it's a very long and painful story on so many levels. long story short: yes, i have experience this and am currently experiencing it to a very heavy degree and the amount of pain this stuff brings up ... i can't even say. i am SO fortunate that i recently started up with T again, because this stuff recently came up again with my FOO and T has been amazingly supportive and helpful. Sorry for the shame and all you're feeling around...Read More...

Yay! This is a good thing, A. Tears are a sign of emotional life and openness. I'd love to cry in therapy, but so far-- I can't. I'm sure T would love it too, she's said as much. . .Read More...

For everyone that is ok with it.Read More...

Hi AH...even though I had retched session with T yesterday and feel like I've been run over by the proverbial truck (which then backed up to catch the spots it missed the first time), I just wanted to send you a cyber hug. The KidRead More...

Hi BLT, I’m all warm inside after reading your post. Touch in therapy is a BIG issue for me, and a positive one at that. I’m seeing a somatic T and we touch a great deal. I realize we both play a role in that. She is incredibly comfortable – and skilled – with the use of her body as a healing modality. And I have been able – although it was impossibly hard in the beginning – to ask her for a certain type of touch (maternal, what else )and haven’t found it too difficult to receive just that.Read More...

I read this quote in one of the books on my reading list for the first year of therapist training – which starts the day after tomorrow, I’m getting SO nervous! I really love it because it says it all, for the client as well as the T. Thank you for reminding it to me!Read More...