Thanks Muff. I do appreciate the encouragement anyway. I guess we'll see how it goesRead More...

After having dinner with the family last night, came home feeling utterly distressed. Today I see T. I left her a v/m last night and sent her an email so she knows how desperate things feel. She also knows li'l one and I are feeling quite anxious about seeing her after her vacation. She responded early this morning to say she understands how I feel and heard how upset I am and really looks forward to seeing both of us this afternoon. I just want to hide under the covers and not go to work.Read More...

Now that's a job that appeals AV.Read More...

Hi Kid Hi Li'l One I'm pretty much alone too. It's nice not to have to hide feelings in your own home, but sometimes it gets scary too, hearing your own sobs and nothing else and feeling all alone... I think this is where you two work together, talk to each other, hold each other, and build up a pretty strong friendship, because you're seeing each other through the worst of times... Plus there's all of us here, and somehow just from reading your words, I know you're lovable. I hope you can...Read More...

ain't a bad thing. imagine away!Read More...

i know exactly what you mean, 100%. how are you doing?Read More...

I'm sorry you're so triggered. There are a lot of grey areas in the ethics of psychotherapy. But I can say definitively and adamantly that abuse of any kind against a child, elder, or disabled individual is not a grey area. It is wrong and illegal and action will be taken by any licensed mental health professional. It comes with the licensure to practice...licensed mental health professionals are mandated reporters and must report suspected abuse to these populations, or their license can...Read More...

Re: Having to reduce therapy prematurely.Read More...

That's an interesting point, ((RT)) I guess grocery shopping is the one thing we do on a regular basis that lets a whole heap of strangers get a sneaky look into our personal lives (and larder cupboards!!) I've often wondered what other shoppers or checkout staff think when they peek into my basket If I see someone with a load of 'reduced item' stuff I tend to think "cheapskate" and then hide all mine at the bottom of the basket, LOL!Read More...

No you haven't Draggers. It was someones bright idea that I should extend my scribes into one long thread, so as to make room for other post's. It's obviously not working.Read More...

Words words. Their only words to describe this fuking hell! "Toddlers also need to go through a time of being able to express their rage ...." Infants do too, to alert their primary care giver for the need to be loved. And when they were forced to stop asking, that rage was also repressed. There was a ransom to be paid for the dream of love. I'm paying for it in therapy.Read More...

Done!Read More...

(((Cat))) Thanks for checking in on me. Yesterday was pretty busy. Boo had a Kindergarten playdate to meet her soon-to-be classmates. She starts later this week, because it's a year-round school. I feel like I know it's affecting me profoundingly in some (past-related) way that I can't quite understand. Today, we are visiting with the little girl I used to watch, which is really nice. I'm not really dissociating it, but consciously putting it all aside until tonight when I can talk it over...Read More...

Thank You for link, AG! I loved it! I feel so passionate about this! I think attachment theory is definitely going to play a role in how I do therapy. I actually get to start seeing clients in less than two months! Yikes!Read More...

No need to understand it anyway Cat. Emotion will take you where you need to go.Read More...

((AG)) The timing of your T's vacation was really the pits. It's hard to hold onto that postive image when they feel so far away. Your T cares about you greatly, though, and would never want to hurt you. He's on your side. Hang in there.Read More...

Liese, You make perfect sense, and thank you for sharing what happened to you. I am glad you and your T worked it out. I agree T's need to be forgiving on boundary crossing, especially if it is accidental. This one was a clear misunderstanding and I try to be so careful, yes you are right it is like walking on eggshells isn't it? I hate how some Ts argue and argue about a 2nd appointment. Some won't even consider. I know it has only been a short time but I am committed, and have seen that we...Read More...

Ellipsis. Not ellipticals. :PRead More...

bids for love led to abuse. the word love meant nothing except pain and wanting to dieRead More...

((scars))Read More...

thoughts to you the weekend, too TNRead More...

Thank you for your answer Catalyst, and sorry for my late reply, I couldn't find time to answer properly and I wanted to process your answer. Thank you for expressing very well what I feel every time when she tells me she cares. Could you develop your thoughts on the attachment forms and the sense that there is a savior? It seems quite relevant to what I feel but I haven't read anything about it yet? I don't know, I just have this feeling I need to be cared for, that it would replace the...Read More...

If you could b a fictional character from any book who would you wanto be? If you could only keep one of your 5 senses which one would you keep? If your house was on fire what one thing would you grab on the way out? If you could live anywhere in the world where would you live? What's your favorite season of the year? Coke or Pepsi?Read More...