Thank you Liese. I was thinking about you... Hope you are well... The trouble is verbalizing....I just have to keep trying. Today should be interesting. I did tell him if I quit Therapy...it is not because Iam unhappy about the no contact...it is because the feelings it brings up...too much to grapple with... To conquer or be conquered... T.Read More...

Mudd Anger is a very, very difficult feeling to manage. Same with rage. I actually have been struggling with this the past few days and here's how I handle it. I have come to see that anger and rage are usually underpinned by hurt relating to feelings of grief, guilt, shame and powerlessness. So when I start to notice how angry or rageful I seem to be feeling I immediately search deeper for the real reason. Anger can be legitimate but it can also be a very effective defence that ends up...Read More...

hey guys thanks av u seemed to b readin my mind with ur answer but let me jus fill you in on whats happened becuz iam TOTALLY confused... i have seen him this week but he has been chattin to a guy. the first time i saw him i smiled and he gave me a look but didnt smile, he seems like he doesnt want me around anymore, he is just in deep convo with his friend and jus not even lookin at me, its a shame i liked himRead More...

Morning Peeps! Woke up with a major stomach ache this morning. Not like nausea - huge pain across my abdomen. That's never happened to me before. I thought, Oh shit! I have my session (The Session) with T today and I am going to feel too badly to get through it. So, I rummaged through the refrigerator and found some Mylanta that expired in 2009 and took a few swigs of that. Then I stood at the refrigerator door and wondered, Do I pitch it or put it back in the fridge? What the heck! Back in...Read More...

bluRead More...

Kashley-interesting view point on the tissue box. I never heard of that. I'll have to look into that or ask T about that. TAS-in my T training program we aren't required to attend our own therapy, but we are highly encouraged to do so. For some classes we can even get extra credit. I just read in one of my books the other day something about Therapist know thyself, which I take to mean you better work on your own issues before you start counseling clients (umm...not that our issues are ever...Read More...

Thank you TN. Have been in a bad place. Didn't even realize. I am going to read the feedback now.Read More...

Same here. Rejection. It is my shadow.Read More...

I hope so Jillann. I am always asking what the plan is and running into the awareness that not one that can be elucidated.Read More...

Thank you Peanut. Thanks for understanding all this crap. I don't know what to do about anything anymore. I just wanto sleep everything awayRead More...

Muff Maybe if it's just a 'wee monster' ... he willRead More...

Hi Cat, Your 2 posts here are really amazing to me. (also, my apologies for - well, I'm not even comfortable with parenthetical hugs here, so my apologies for not. . .) You told T that you can't take in more, and you say that you feel that you take in more than enough. But I wonder if feeling that there is a limit to how much you can take (which kind of sounds like "tolerate" to me?), that there is an amount that is "enough," kind of shows how you're only letting things half way in - as you...Read More...

Is this one of the Ts that sat with you all day a couple of weeks ago? How did that go, btw? Not all crisis lines send people to your home, I've called before either feeling SU and having them sort of evaluate where I'm at and then talking to me. Even with SI or eating behavior they have helped me cope. They have sent people to my house when I was in dire crisis and it was extremely appropriate and I needed hospitalization (even my T would have sent me). Or, a warmer crisis line when I just...Read More...

This is definitely been an area where my T has shifted in his approach with me. I am prone to asking him a lot of questions, particularly "why" questions, and he used to deflect and try to just get me to go deeper and actually try to feel and say whatever. But he's not as quick to do this lately, and one day I asked him what his countertransference was. I fully expected him to block that question, but he told me that on one particular issue -- ongoing complications with my ex -- he had no...Read More...

yes the brackets are a cyber hug T is therapist, P is pyschologist or psychiatrist, DH is dear husband IDK is i don't know FWIW for what it's worth WTH what the hell FOO family of origin DD can be dear daughter or dissociative disorder ED is eating disorder SI is self injury HOpe this helps you orient your way around a bitRead More...

Whew!!! Thank you!Read More...

Politics, religion, sex, birds, jokes, books, movies, nature, people, music, paintings, food, clothes, work, and sometimes, but not often, psychology.Read More...

More talk about today, and why bubby me needs constant physical comfort from adult me. She needs to know I can care for myself and not feel deprived. I told him about my dream last night whereby mother was disrespectful, and degrading towards me. He thinks being emotionally deprived was pretty disrespectful and degrading in itself. Cuppa and ciggie time before hypno gave me time to think alone. The more therapy validates my feelings about the past, the more vivid that past becomes,...Read More...

Dear SOT Welcome to the community I feel so deeply for the neglected and terribly abused little girl inside you. Who is full of self-loathing, who sees herself as repulsive, worthless and shameful. But she is just a little girl. There is nothing she could have said, done or felt that would have warranted such horrific treatment at the hands of those who were supposed to love her. It was never her fault. I can resonate with the longing for someone to see what was going on and to be important...Read More...

LOL!Read More...

No One right now...if ever. Never completely let my guard down w/anyone. Don't know my new T's @ home yet. I'm sure that'll take awhileRead More...