((Cat)) so glad i could say something to help. you need and deserve a relationship with someone who is able to give you what you need and keep the field clear of their own problems. Despite all the good things about your T it really seems like she can't see that she has hurt you. She reminds me a bit of my aunt who is a psychologist but parades around saying "i never hurt"; IMHO you can't be a member of the human race and never hurt someone. its a defence against shame and a blind spot that...Read More...

Yes not an easy task. I definitely k we the pattern of my T's carpet considering I wanted to dive under itRead More...

Turtle what a heartwarming uplifting post to read. I am glad you are coming to terms with the relationship and finding the help and support you need with your T. It's a tough road but my T assures me it's worth it. Great to have you back here with us. Hugs TNRead More...

Thanks everybody for giving me insight into this! It was really helpful. The lights are starting to calm down.Read More...

Here's my reply again hopefully more people can see this here now!! That's crazy that your T wasn't keep progress notes!! Were you under insurance at that time? I'm not sure if it makes a difference. What I'm wondering if there is any way you could appeal and perhaps see if they would accept a letter from your T about your general progress in treatment? I wouldn't want my personal therapy notes on my record either (unfortunately, some of them are because I've been in the hospital before and...Read More...

inside out as well?Read More...

(((PEANUT)))) I just made an assumption that you were living with your parents. I understand how difficult it is. My relationship with my Mom has been similar to yours with your Dad. It sounds like you had a lot of stress all at once. My Mom is not willing to be educated either and so, it's the same for me: I have to take certain steps in order to be more independent from her. I wish you luck with your visit. It sounds incredibly stressful.Read More...

Melatonin Yep - Nightmares - gorey ones. I still woke up at 1 and 3 and 4. But I will say it made me so sleepy that I went back to sleep really easily. I just really didn't want to close my eyes again after that 3 am nightmare. I feel a little off this morning. Sort of dizzy and still tired. That may be because my ED has kept me from eating more than a few tablespoons of food for the last few days. I think I'll wait a few days and maybe try it again. JillannRead More...

Lieder, Monte, Poppet, Thank you! I appreciate all your responses. Liese, I have been meaning to update my story from where I left off. I haven't had the energy. But I will. (((poppet))), Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words.Read More...

((((RabbitEars)))) thanksRead More...

Gulp!!!Read More...

I had two terribly sad dreams last night. First let me say I had the most intense t session on Friday. I was finally able to talk to t about something that I am so ashamed about. So that has my head spinning currently. I had been in therapy 20 years ago and have just returned about two months ago. In my first dream my current t was telling me she was going to have to terminate me because she had to move away. I woke up so scared that I called her office phone just to hear her voice. In the...Read More...

i've done one yesterday, and one today. and also two the day before. becca - i think that is so neat what your niece's husband is doing (don't you wish there was a family word for that? nephew in law? lol I don't know!!). it's amazing how one person can inspire others. i know when someone does a random nice thing for me i'm deeply grateful, and i'm grateful when I can do something. poppet - it's a great concept. have you seen the movie titled the same? (paying it forward) R2G - I'm glad you...Read More...

chum, welcome to the forum. i was not around when you initially posted. i'm at a point myself where i'm not sure about quitting therapy all together. i do think people can become dependent on it, but at certain points you need to be. it's a good topic, of course, to bring up in t. again, welcome.Read More...

hi anagum, of course you're going to be sad too, and have a whole lot of mixed feelings about it. i hope you had a chance to have some sessions to talk about the termination and get some closure, even if it was your decision to leave. it does sound like you know what you're doing in leaving this T and i hope the next one is a much better match for you! puppetRead More...

way to go rabbityears!!! i think that is huge... i know how hard it is to bring these secrets out to someone, you're waiting for the lightning to strike, but it won't. it's ok now, it's your life and your voice and you can use it. i hope you can continue feeling proud of yourself! puppetRead More...

I have been putting this question to myself a lot lately. So far the answer I feel most in tune with goes like this: I am in a process of individuating, integrating (because I feel like a fragmented mess), and healing. This would be going on in someway with or without T because it seems to be what life is asking of me, but talking with her each week facilitates the process, and provides containment and grounding when necessary. P.S. Yeah, I think counselling can become a habit. An expensive...Read More...

CD, that's what i am doing at the moment. thinking of you.Read More...

I obviously have too much time on my hands, but was thinking of summertime memories *Watermelon & home made pop cycles. *Freezing veges from garden. Was a huge process. *Walking barefoot on blk top to get to the community pool when no siblings would carry me. Oww oww Oww! *Fresh black raspberry pie! & the chigger bites to proove it. *Making ice cream. Geez that took forever! *Hanging my hand out the car window to try & catch the long grass as we drove by it. *Bridge jumping w/o...Read More...

Hi RT, My cats have saved my life... both of them I brought in to my life at different times. Since I have been home from the hospital their support and entertainment has meant the world. I really want to work with animals... even though it makes me sad too [and sorry about your ETC treatments, I'm sure those were very difficult!] but I have such an amazing heartfelt bond with them (animals) I can't see anything else my heart could go toward. I also want to meet different people... I think...Read More...

RT, Thanks for sharing such a great article. It makes perfect sense to me. HopefulRead More...

Oh my goodness, what a funny, tender and wonderful interaction! Thank you for sharing!Read More...

All the time. Am in the midst of a painful one right now, and I'm pitching a major fit even though I know he's right.Read More...

Thanks for the comments Liese and poppet. T3 is an older guy (so no physical attraction as I'm young) that does psychodynamic therapy, which is the same as all the rest. There's not much difference between him and T2 but for feeling more comfortable with him. I think I feel more comfortable with him because he reminds me less of T1 - it's like a whole new world instead of being constantly reminded that my 'real' therapist is gone. We've only had 4 sessions though so it's also like a new...Read More...