my T is the same age as my mother, perfect for huge transference issues! i'm in my 30's, she's in her 60's. puppetRead More...

Haha, I used to love watching the Avengers in my youth (although for me they were re-runs, lol). Emma Peel was my favorite role model. Still is, in some ways. So a few people have actually told me I look a little like her, but admittedly this was before kids.Read More...

Aw, that is nice to hear, thanks. My current T is "eclectic", but primarily Rogerian. She's pretty adaptable in her approach to. . . well, everything. That's been good in some ways because I never feel controlled or like she is imposing her views or agenda on me, but there has been some trial and error and occasional frustration in figuring out the best way to use my sessions and how to work productively. We spent a lot of time the first year or so just getting to know eachother. I was slow...Read More...

My T says that to me all the time! LOL I talk about my interactions with others and explain how the conversation went and my T always notes that I give more love to others than to myself.Read More...

(((everyone))) Happy Mother's Day to you all.Read More...

It sounds like a dam may have broken. In a good way.Read More...

yeah, i do think it's a really good metaphor. i'm pleased it's clicking with others here, and thanks for saying so. (((fishy))) i'm afraid my soil isn't quite there, either. it's okay, though. we're working on it. i haven't been to therapy for nearly 6 months now. i'm getting close to returning. gonna have to talk about money, though. money's a big trigger for me, so that won't be much fun. therapy: a true love/hate relationship!Read More...

I am shy and gentle, like a wild rabbit. I am small and quick to dart away I freeze when I'm really scared. I have good hearing and prefer listening to speaking. I have to listen well, because I am afraid to look. But when I'm really scared, I cannot make sense of the words T is saying.Read More...

Yes you're right liese. I don't have to take her BS. I really try not to call her when things r bad. Sometimes I call & she just says "what's wrong I can hear it in your voice." That makes me feel like a kid & how a mom should react but usually she says "what do you have to be upset about." Kind of the same ...but not really & that's a jab. I know I have to psyche myself up when I call. Last time I called her really desperate I was setting up my 1st gallery art exhibition for my...Read More...

((((HELD)))) They are breathtaking!!!! The first one is graceful and the second one is complex.Read More...

((RT)) I essentially just did kind of what you're talking about. I talked to T about giving up, depressing stuff, etc., etc. My T asked before I left if I was going to kill myself, and I said no. So if I were to end up doing that, she did do what she ethically should have done, given my history with that kind of thing, and I don't think her ethical boundaries stretch to getting in touch with me to make sure that I still will not do anything.Read More...

(((RT))) I know whatever I'm meant to have, if I remain open to it (which my T is teaching me how to do), it will be provided for me. The lady he introduced me to, who although much older gives me a big sister or maybe young aunt vibe more than a mom vibe at all, despite being my mom's age, said that she did all of her early therapy work with women, until she was finally ready to heal in being able to relate to men and learn to feel safe there. I wonder whether that might be a place I get to...Read More...

((((OUTSIDER)))) I love the way that was phrased, that outside contact was "part of the work". Some T's don't look at it that way but, really, we can only handle so much on our own. Hope you are feeling better.Read More...

Thank you a lot for this answer! (Yes, it does reassure me because I really was worried^^)Read More...

Thanks for the hug RT. Today is better. I'm sorry you feel that way turtle and I can completely relate to that urge to quit. I would encourage you to wait and see if you still feel that way in a few days (good advice but I can't do it). yesterday after my session I left a voice mail asking my T to help me quit and I've already changed my mind. T called me back today and left me a message not even mentioning that and just telling me he wasn't angry or frustrated or tired of dealing with me...Read More...

Ooh Turtle, thank you for bringing this thread back up. Not sure where I got this but it's something along the lines of "behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out". It has become something of a mantra of mine!Read More...

“Never attribute to malevolence what is merely due to incompetence” ― Arthur C. Clarke, 3001: The Final OdysseyRead More...

Thanks RT, interesting article.Read More...

I think calling and leaving a message WAS brave. You are taking risks and reaching out. I hope you get some of what you need.Read More...

Red Tomato, I have noticed how wise you are and helpful. You answer and give great things to think about so I hope you won't go away again. You answer way more than I do...I'm just too caught up and wish I was better. What I'm saying is you're very valuable to myself and others and it's great to feed the human connection...this is where people do understand each other. HopefulRead More...

i'm not biased but i think we're an awesome group of people (((turtle))) if anything was lost, i don't think i suffer any more than anybody here. i have been here longer than you, but time isn't necessarily the measuring cup of what makes up a "steady" friendship. i could write a book on how to avoid just that. please, give yourself more credit...i believe you deserve it more than i. i believe alot of us need to take that to heart. thanks for that quote, (((TN))) it's nice to see so many...Read More...

((Iris)) It is worth the hassle unfortunately. And.... yes... I can have a heartfelt discussion with her but I'm not trusting her ability to handle it. I'm not sure on T2's boundaries with help outside of our work (with someone else) but I asked her today, and she does talk to T1 periodically. If it wasn't an option... I'd be frustrated, but continue to get support from T1 while I keep charging through. Your writing helped, and helped me think, thank you so much. ((RT)) I'm complicated at...Read More...

I liked this, thank you. I also ended up looking at more videos on youtube. An awful lot of Russians appear to help older women cross the street. It's not something I see here for some reason. It's very sweet. I've helped someone load their car or reach stuff or got them a cart before but... never assisted in a street crossing. Looks like there aren't traffic lights much though.Read More...

Thank you for the motivation to keep going. I am so scared and want to just bug out and not go, but the alternative are the night time cries each night, so I guess it's worth working on. Thank you for being so kind.Read More...