I can't believe I did that..I'm not that kind of person to quit anything like that. And I did originally say that I'd want to do one more session to discuss everything, but then I changed my mind and said I wanted this to be the last one. The first thing T asked when I told her I need to take a break from therapy is if I am going to kill myself. I was surprised at this, although I can see how my demeanor throughout the session could cause her to think that. I hope T knows how much I...Read More...

Thanks, cat! You made me smile. It's a huge step for me to feel the attachment but I am not totally sure I got it right. I still have plans to find another T who can guide me spiritually and therapeutically but it feels good to think I can do this without needing some sort of drama (anger, hate, fear) to leave her. The ending with my oT was so painful that it feels almost surreal to be at peace with this process. That doesn't mean without tears, but at least I don't feel like I am going to...Read More...

My kitten learned to play fetch the first time I threw a ball for her. I thought that was pretty smart and cute. She brings it to me every morning when I wake up. Only a specific ball, and my other cat will not touch it. Since she started doing that my other cat demonstrated to me that he does understand fetch but chooses not to play. Instead he carries around this soft toy I call his "baby" and he wails and gives it to me... for which I have to thank him and pet him and love him... and then...Read More...

my t's call me the melting pot of sweet names: sweetie, sweetheart, darling, hun, honey, cute (trust me - I'm adorable), etc in their heads i imagine my t's call me several impolite words. Strange but true fact, my nickname growing up was Sunny/Sunshine/Smiley because I was always happy and could make people laugh. *fist pump* go go gadget coping mechanism.Read More...

I personally find tomatoes to be quite a loud food - especially the red ones. So I do hope you won't be quietRead More...

As you all know, I am a co-moderator on this board for some time now. I am the only one, aside from Room2Grow that are still active. I have only very limited privileges as to what I can do here. I was asked, however, to post here that wishing (aka... IrishGirl) was banned from membership. If it is important to you to know the reason then please contact Shrinklady. I did not do the banning. I do not have that ability. I am only making the announcement as asked. If anyone has further questions...Read More...

Thank you for the link RT... Waiting for e-mail is the worst. Waiting for phone calls is pretty bad. Actually, I hate waiting in general I get such bad anxiety.Read More...

((Turtle)) thanks for your fierce care and concern. I clarified the situation with T and he didn't mean for me to think I wasn't allowed to contact him at all. Part of me really hates him atm for a number of complicated reasons. I have some good self care strategies that I use. The problem is I want someone else to care for me when I'm in such psychic and emotional agony and I become rageful and irate when nobody does and I'm forced to DIY. DIY was the story of my childhood so its...Read More...

I see my Pdoc for 15min & only discuss meds & how they make me feel. Nothing outside of that like external things that may effect it. I don't like that bec I know there are other tho gs that effect my mood besides meds. I see him every 2-3 wks bec we've been doing A LOT of med changes. I feel he does his job & that's it. A personality would b nice but I guess I'm not paying for that. I try to go by word of mouth on references. People don't lie about drs. Good luck.Read More...

Hi turtle, I definitely come and go here,mainly because of time pressures but also because I am wary about putting my stuff out there and tend to keep personal thoughts and opinions in. I do feel that I am not being a 'good' memeber if I don't post regularly, but I always read and gets lots from the board in doing that. My T would definitely tell me not to feel pressurised into doing anything I didn't want to. Saying that turtle it's always lovely to hear from you starfishyRead More...

GE Hugs to you! I'm sorry ur having a difficult time. You received a variety of answers so something for you to think about. I do know that thru my marriage & having mental issues that the worst time for me to make a big decision is when I'm not well. I've learned that I'll make extreme decisions then & sometimes regret it. That's just me. As for the H part I know how extremely difficult it can b when you don't feel supported by him. In my case I not only feel unsupported but totally...Read More...

Re: I love this guy!Read More...

I'm glad to hear it went well!Read More...

Interesting. Thank you, RT. TNRead More...

Hi anagum...Shrinklady is the only one at this time that has the ability to grant access to the private forums. Sometimes it takes awhile for her to respond. TNRead More...

((((JILLANN)))) Your post was very informative. Thank you so much for all the information. I didn't know that about the apathy. I'm physically close to my Mom and so more in a position to help her. I've suggested anti-depressants but she said no. (She said she's depressed.) She took her own Mom to the doctor and put her on anti-depressants so I have a bit of leverage there. I'm hoping they would perk her up a bit and motivate her to go out. My grandmother lived until she was 92 and saw every...Read More...

lol, RT SD, That is interesting. . . I never feel sleepy when I dissociate. I feel cut off from things, numbed, frozen, far away, but also very tense. It's a strange feeling. I suppose it is dissociation? Maybe it takes different forms. Anyway, that is funny about your T being more alert in the morning. Maybe she should have an afternoon coffee? lol. Glad you two worked out a solution though.Read More...

Hi Tas, Sorry to jump in from out of nowhere - I've been around for a while but I don't post very often. I'm wondering if your reaction might be something to do with what they call disorganised attachment. Other people can describe this better than me, but basically, if we grow up with caregivers who hurt us, we end up with some very mixed reactions to closeness. When we want to be close to someone we also want to push away from them at the same time. Little kids with disorganised attachment...Read More...

oh, that is not fair.... stomping feet. I am really following this thread so super closely as I am always grappling with this issue and you all have really helped me take a step forward. CD, can you pls repost as I missed it, but understand if you arent able to. SomedaysRead More...

My T does this a lot. It closely relates to mentalizing where you hold a mind (yours or another's) in mind to understand how and why that mind ticks that way.Read More...

Thanks for asking. It was a weird situation. My mom died and that is what started it. She called me every single day from that point on. I could even understand calling for a few days after my mom died as I was devastated but then it went on and on. And oddly rather than feeling like a feast, it started to feel really depressing and I began to not really care about her or the calls. I began to miss sessions etc. So strange when I have thought for so many years that increased attention would...Read More...

RT, That was a good story to read...thanks for sharing. Also, the comments that people left about not having the resources to deal with their bi-polar is also a reality for many and that is sad...or in some cases of someone I know who just won't...sad too.Read More...

Same here for me... after the medication kicked in, it was a world of difference for me. I had already been in therapy for a long time. The anti-depressant didn't stop me from feeling. Together with therapy I could move forward again.Read More...

Here's one of my favorite performances with him. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtPm5GiJ_iMRead More...

thank you sweet morgs! you always send your support and hugs on the coundown thread so nothing was missed! ok, i will try greeneyes, thank you! and you're right! and i'm exhausted... i'll let you know how it goes after, but i might not post before my session as i like to stew in my own 'juices' before an important session... we'll see, i might come here to say i am running away and hiding puppetRead More...