Hey Red Tomato thanks for sharing that with me. Yeah the new T is very much so encouraging me to get involved in other therapeutic programs etc. She says "You need more than seeing me" So now I am in this Day treatment program and I was very against it at first. I still don't particularly like it but it is helping some. Just hearing others talk of their struggles helps me some. Hi SomeDays , I too can be pretty blunt so no worries! I struggle with whether she is the right one or not. She is...Read More...

((((CD)))) It's really sad to hear that you and so many others here can relate to this thread. My sister suffered the ignomy of being told by our mum that she wasn't wanted because she was a girl and that my only saving grace was I was a boy. Her dislike of girls carried over to when my sisters children were born, and when her first child was a boy my mum was overjoyed by it. When my sister was carrying her second child she was almost petrified that it would be a girl and that our mum would...Read More...

((( Anon ))) i don't know what to say. i didn't go through nearly the stuff you are, but i most definitely do relate to the being terrified of rejection by T. that was such a HUGE part of my anxiety in going to sessions. i sure liked T enough, but could never grapple with the anxiety, and i hated it because not only did he not deserve it, not only did i KNOW he didn't deserve it, but i couldn't help it for nothing. i hope these sessions with the new lady work out for you. i understand it's...Read More...

thank you for sharing AV! i'm impressed by all the poets here! puppetRead More...

"Round up the usual suspects!" (Yes, I always like to work in a Casablanca quote. But seriously this kind of scapegoating legislating strikes me as beyond ridiculous and offensive, not to mention ineffective.)Read More...

Thank you, to each of you, for your replies. I have been out of town, so I apologize for the late reply. It means so much that you would take time to reply and encourage me during this situation. All the best, T.Read More...

I think it comes down to what the drive is like. It's mostly motorway so if traffic isn't bad then it could be an easy drive. What I worry about is traffic being unpredictable and then having to leave lots of extra time to make sure I'm not late for a session because with only 50 minutes a week with T I coudn't bear to miss any of that time. There is so much other uncertainty in my life right now that it really isn't the right time to be adding to it by changing T. I talked to a friend about...Read More...

a very interesting question! i think for me its hidden deep in my chest in layers and layers of protection, so hidden that even i can't find sometimes. sometimes i can't find myself at all and i wonder where i have gone. i also sometimes feel like this is not my body, just a useless lump of bones that i have to carry around. thank you for asking poppet and everyone for sharing. puppetRead More...

Popps, what do you do with it when you have all the pieces laying around you?Read More...

Starlight - Lol...thank you for that. So true huh?Read More...

When I am feeling anxious I look at my life and see if there is anything that might be contributing to my anxiety like have I prolonged something that needs to be taken care of have I been doing good self care like exercise, have I been inviting healthy relationships into my life. I used to wake up and hate life and not want to leave the house I had just moved to a new city and now realize I was taking the wrong medication an antidepressant believe it or not caused my anxiety to be worse.Read More...

Liese unless personal therapy is a mandatory part of their training (which it is with psychoanalytic T training) then you don't know. That's one of the reasons I'm so passionate about that approachRead More...

(((HELD)))Read More...

(((CAT))) I went to a chiropractor some years back. I couldn't turn my head to the right (not good when driving) and my whole shoulder area and trapezius muscle around my wing was in knots. It was before therapy and just the start of it for me as I hadn't even noticed that I couldn't turn my head to the right. It's so cool that you are finding that it's helping you with your emotions as well. I need to be able to concentrate better.Read More...

(((TAS))) Been thinking about what you wrote here off and on all afternoon. I don't really feel qualified to comment, but am throwing out some thoughts anyway for what they are worth (not much). I really liked what kmay wrote. It reminded me of a quote I like from Blaise Pascal: "It is the heart which perceives God, not the reason." It's also funny (as in coincidental not as in haha) that I was reading a book this morning on the experience of God by Meletios Webber. In the chapter I'm on, he...Read More...

Indeed - only mine taught me NOT to feel anything, especially 'difficult' emotions or anything that wasn't associated with pleasantaries she saw important such as happiness, achievement and compliance. I am slowly learning with the help of my T that it is safe and healthy to feel a whole range of emotions... but it's hard to unlearn what was instilled so early on. starfishyRead More...

(((sparklewhizz))) Sorry I didn't reply before your session. I'm glad your T was so accepting of your return (any good T would be) and that she let you find out on your own terms what you needed and ask for it (I always think that is hugely brave!).Read More...

Mr. Thinker, Just wanted to say hi and welcome!Read More...

Gilliana, Just wanted to say hi and welcome!Read More...

IrishSpirit : That's fine, don't worry too much about it! It was just, like, hey, guys...please? I know you didn't mean to do anything on purpose. I will! Once I come back from my adventure on Sunday (am guiding and translating for a group of American kids through the rainforest...), I really need to catch up on some me time. I sincerely hope you find the help you need too. Liese : At the moment when I first read that post, I was upset but I chose not to even say anything about it because 1)...Read More...

(((CD))) I struggled with this for a long long time. It's so hard to say how it ever resolved itself or if it even did. I still cry when I think about ending therapy though I just don't focus on ending so much though anymore. I don't think of the ending as being permanent anymore. It's not like I'm going to walk out of there one day and the door will be closed tight, locked and sealed. Funny, as I'm writing this out, it's making me think of how dissociation works and how our emotional parts...Read More...

Loving my cats Walking Photo editing Customizing anything and everything I can Visiting Art Galleries Decorating Googling "everything" Science Fixing anything broken Cleaning house and keeping my home declutteted Writing House plantsRead More...

Agreed; very interesting. It reinforces something my T said to me last year when we were talking about my family. She insisted that I was becoming the more emotionally aware one in the family and the best placed to heal any rifts from the past. Good article.Read More...

Thank you for your replies. This is so hard. I keep getting hit with the realisation that there are so many needs I have that will never be met - or at least not in a full way. Deep down I really thought my t would take me in as a part of her family and meet some of those needs. Which sounds so stupid when I write it down. Every time it hits me I think 'I can't believe it' but I suppose I am believing it a little bt otherwise I wouldn't be so upset. I know it's probably progress to be...Read More...

I have to agree with what Poppet said earlier. My rather simplistic view is that 50+ years ago my mother gave birth to me; now my T is giving life to me and that's worth far more to me than money or clock watching. For a long time last year I voluntarily overpaid my T, and the only reason I watch the clock in sessions is to ensure I don't encroach into her private time as I'm usually her last client of the day.Read More...