(((TAS))) One of the hallmarks of a secure attachment is reaching out for help appropriately when needed. It doesn't sound like you are learning that. I really like what Erica wrote up above. Why not tell him that some of us have felt that out of session contact to our T's helped us to feel more secure and independent? What about setting up something structured so that you don't have to wait for his return call? Three or four days after your session, have a check-in call scheduled? Or even...Read More...

cat, what happened w. old T when you felt enmeshed and trapped? did you terminate? how did you navigate that? thanks. rock tas- i think stopping reaching out needs to be determined based on what is best for you. i can certainly relate to everything you said in terms of your feelings about the situation and a feeling that it doesnt feel good to wait for a response and wonder.Read More...

I just want to encourage you all to continue to be honest with EVERYTHING that is going on inside of you. The only way your T can help is if you are willing to be fully vulnerable and exposed. My T and I decided I was ready to begin transition and I went into panic mode. I had to share with him how I was totally connected to him (transference) and I really wanted to make sure we could disconnect before I left. That was in November. We are still working through the transition process and I'm...Read More...

((((Green Eyes)))) Thank you, No i am not seeing a therapist...and due to financial problems i can't go to one! What do you mean by psychic pain?? ((((Liese)))) Thank youRead More...

Oh, Diva, that must have been weird to have seen her while being in that state. I can't believe the counseling center is right next to your dorm. Lots of opportunities for running into T. It probably wouldn't have bothered me as much in college as it would now though. xxRead More...

(((Smiley))) Hey, thanks for chiming in! Sorry I somehow missed replying to this before. It's funny, but I'm so used to seeing the trivet on the wall now it doesn't even make me think of MIL or anything uncomfortable any more. It does look nice there. Think it was a good choice. Hope you are doing well!Read More...

Thank you for responding, Bee! New T knew about old T from the first session. I just never said that I missed her. They are just different types of therapists, which is cool. I've learned so much already from both of them! Since I'm going into this field, I thought it would be great to see different techniques and relationships. About contact with former T... I usually run into her once a month or so when I take one of my kids into see his/her therapist. Former T also told me what restaurant...Read More...

Yep, and "Mother Knows Best" is the classic theme song for that kind of relationship. So much so that I actually had a mild anxiety attack when I first watched it, lol. Now it strikes me as more amusing(not to mention it's a catchy song) the more so as the witch actually looks more than a bit like my mom. What part of the movie did you show your T?Read More...

LOL HicRead More...

I sent a text this morning to ask if it was ok to text during my trip, because of some hard stuff that came up, and said sorry if the last text was weird. He replied that it was not at all weird, he really appreciated it and it was endearing (his code word for cute, because I hate when he uses that word about me. I know he feels that way too, because it's been talked about, but I've never said it to him, because I can't even call him by any name directly (only when I address an email to...Read More...

Hey Tas, thats moving. I started to poetry/prose thread after the ones you wrote the other day. I thought it would be good to have one place for everyone. Please keep writing.Read More...

Hi Jen, I agree with searching in that you need a safe forum to express your homocidal rage and being able to talk about such intense feelings will mean you are much less likely to act on them. Usually underneath rage is a truckload of hurt, which might help you in your thinking and understanding about what's going on for you xxRead More...

Hi DR, Dual relationship was b/c my T was a family friend (somewhat removed) but none the less, a family friend. She knew my parents and occasionaly (very rarely) our lives would cross over outside of therapy. No, I am not currently having the same problem with new T. I have only been with her for about a month and a half now. I feel better when I leave therapy with her. I feel lighter. Hopefully, that won't change. It's difficult to explain how and why it made me worse with old T. I am...Read More...

(((KMAY)))) Thanks for writing that all out in one place. I remember that long session you had with her and how bad you felt afterward. The whole experience sounded really scary. You have never felt like that in all the time you had seen her? It almost sounds like you were flooded and she was the trigger. If that's the case, it would make sense that the contact with her would not be comforting and, in fact, cause you to feel bad. It made me think about an experience I had a couple of weeks...Read More...

Lol! Foo in some languages, my native language is used to describe a bad taste... Funny Liese. Enjoy your day!Read More...

No; I don't have a treatment plan as such either. T and I work on the most urgent things week by week; although every few months we'll have a session where we will review progress and agree verbally the things to address in future sessions. Is a written treatment plan a requirement of the health insurance companies in some countries?Read More...

LieseRead More...

Don't I wish that life was as simple as C&H had it.... A few from today: NEDA Week: Body Love (great visual) Recovery Challenge Day 3Read More...

Hi guest, Thanks for the validation . I have a light that I bought from Brookstone which is in malls in the USA...don't know if you're in the USA but I don't use it much but I do find it helpful when I do use it.Read More...

R2G, Good responsible T's we both have. I see mine in two hours...yeah! Sometimes seeing a different one if even only for testing in my case makes us appreciate ours more. She always deserved it but I didn't always know that. HopefulRead More...

((((TAS)))) - When I broke up with T....I was in a terrible state revolving back and forth from a childlike state to my rational adult state. Every time I felt the awful overwhelming urge to pick up the phone and beg T to forget the break-up and let things go back to normal, I walked into the bathroom instead. I stood in front of the mirror and said over an over again "She cannot fix the child, she cannot re-parent you. She cannot fix the child, only you can do that. Not her. She cannot save...Read More...

hi liese, thanks for your reply. my mom was quite controlling. i was not much of a mamas boy. i was more wild and rebellious. but i was also close to my mom. someone told me that for a wild kid i was the biggest mamas boy they ever met. i think her being compliant and passive and my being angry over it relates to something having to do with "if you obey me you must be beneath me" or "if you let me push you around you must have no back bone" or something like that. this T is not a bad person.Read More...

Hello again guest, I hope you will continue to write here on the forum if it helps at all. It's not the same as interacting with people in real life, I know, but maybe sometimes just putting your thoughts out there can make a small difference? At any rate, I enjoy reading your posts and find them insightful and interesting. Sorry to hear your therapy ended. If you start again, will you have to look for a new T or is your previous one still around?Read More...

Tas what an extraordinary and moving story. I think TN is right - going back to the place where you endured hell on earth is an attempt to organise and make sense of trauma. There was a point when I was 23 or 24 and I was watching a movie and there was a line about how you reach a point in life where the home you grew up in isn't your home anymore. That really resonated with me. A few years later and shortly after I'd started woking on my own healing, my dad died suddenly at home in my...Read More...

Thanks Liese it was a great article and really reinforced some of the thing my T was saying to me this morning xxRead More...