Do we have a thingy for those that like to write poetry and could just post randomly?Read More...

TN. (((hugs))) Thanks, I actually feel pretty great about myself right now, or more about the circumstances, because I took control (not like seized it away from someone, but instead of drowning in the chaos and H's triggered "freeze" state on the planning), I just stepped in and made decisions that affect more than me without feeling like whatever I did would be "wrong" or "bad" if I didn't get total approval from everyone involved first. It's actually a really huge thing for me. I've...Read More...

Hey TAS... I think you realized just how important "your" therapist is to you. He IS your therapist you know. Even if you refuse to admit it. If you didn't care about him and care about the relationship you would not bother to apologize and ask for his forgiveness. And you wouldn't feel so relieved that he said he would forgive you and that he would continue to see you. Sometimes we have to almost scare ourselves into realizing the depth of our feelings for our Ts. I clearly remember one...Read More...

Hopeful, Green Eyes, Cat, AG, Thanks Friends I know realisiticly T is not upset with me for missing session. She could tell how sick I was in my voice. I am in one of those places where I feel like anyone who I view in a positive light will be toxified by me and therefore should not be in my presence in order to not get contaminated by me - That AG, is Exactly how I feel....or have felt in the past. If I have to ask for it, then its completely meaningless. So I don't ask. My mind tells me if...Read More...

(((TN)))(((AG))) Glad you guys found it helpful. AG, I've only been able to read parts also. I wanted to order too it but it's a bit pricey. Let me know if it's worth it when you get it. Wish I could get it from my library.Read More...

Smiley: Thanks so much for taking the time to respond! I already do feel less alone. BLT: Here is a hug back! And thank you! AG: Thanks so much for your reply. Your words of wisdom (as always) of "having been there and done that" are so helpful and do make me feel better. I do realize that I have to forge new relationships but it sounds so overwhelming to "start from scratch". Hearing your comment about it made me feel like it is still possible. I suppose it is hard to be optimistic about...Read More...

I'm so glad you went back, BLT. And it's wonderful that you were able to largely repair some of the damage. I've recently been reminded that my T is human, too...sometimes it can feel like a cold bucket of water to the face, huh?Read More...

Shaman, Welcome. I like the "spin" on that article. It's very interesting. Thanks for sharing.Read More...

(((trixie))) i wonder if it feels like you lost something deeply personal because you did you can talk with us here if you need to. there is sooo much good support here. in the meantime, be gentle with yourself. gentle hugs, (((trixie)))Read More...

Hi Catalyst, Sounds like you did some very important work with your T. I found when I started expressing anger and rage at my T (when he had and hadn't done anything wrong in my opinion), I was terrified that it would either destroy him, make him hate me or destroy the relationship. So many of us grow up with anger being an incredibly dangerous and destructive emotion because parents don't always handle it well. It sounds like your T managed the situation really well and that your...Read More...

Hi Liese... I have to come back later... but wanted to just say now that was a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing it. More comments to follow. TNRead More...

Hey all, Sorry it's taken me a few days to get back to this. I think I needed to just disconnect for a couple days...I don't know. Thank you, as always, for being so wonderful and supportive. Thanks, GreenEyes.. I know it's not fair of me to keep questioning myself about T's original comment. She did apologize profusely and took complete responsibility for what she said. She said that there's such a fine line between trying to encourage someone to control their thoughts and acknowledging...Read More...

aww thanks LieseRead More...

Jones, Nice to meet you! I have to tell you, your reply struck a chord within me. I will definitely be thinking about what you said. Thank you. T.Read More...

TN, Aaahh yes, makes more sense. Thank you. In my first meeting with T, when she was explaining how she is familiar with patients who have been through similar situations as mine with previous T's, she was basically giving a summary of the situation. She said that we need to process and umderstand what happened and that eventually I need closure and that may mean a closure session with old T She probably saw the look of horror on my face and decided it bast to not mention it again for now.Read More...

Yes. The book is kept on my shelf. Also loved the TED talk on introverts. I'm both.Read More...

Thanks, AG, BLT, Erica & Liese. I know this is hard work and it takes time and I'm actually making progress with this T, but I don't KNOW it. When in the trenches, it's so easy to lose sight of all of that. So the encouragement I find from everyone is golden.Read More...

Thanks for all the great suggestions. I decided to make heart shaped pizza. My T even suggested making heart shaped pepperoni. I picked up my 5 year old from her babysitter and very enthusiastically went to the supermarket to buy pizza dough, pepperoni, etc. We were in there about 10 minutes tops. As we were getting in the car, I did something incredibly stupid and locked (thinking I was unlocking) my car with my purse, my cellphone and the car keys in the car while still holding the...Read More...

Hey Cat... I know that feeling of overwhelming anxiety. I do think that engaging in some physical activity helps with running down some of that adrenalin that is pumping wildly. but sometimes I just need to try to sleep if I can and usually when I wake up it's better. Your T's don't hate you at all and I know how strong and powerful those feelings are at times but they are feelings from the past that cannot hurt you now. You have survived the worst of your past and you are a strong adult now...Read More...

AG, Thank you. I have good and bad days. Yesterday was awful. Today is a better day. Thank you for your support.Read More...

After today, I can't help but add another one: Her complete willingness to own up when she makes a mistake.Read More...

Hi dancer As a trauma survivor I've found intense psychoanalytic therapy the most helpful intervention by far. There is often a strong emphasis on insight and interpretation. However one of the major avenues of healing is mourning and grieving, reliving the emotional pain that would have destroyed us in childhood had we faced it then. I don't know your history but maybe your caregivers didn't handle interpersonal closeness or vulnerable feelings very well which led you to feel ashamed and...Read More...

TAS, mine says "So what's going on?" which makes me feel like I'm being accused of something! I just try to think of my own opening thing to say even before I get to his office and kind of ignore his.Read More...

Well done TNRead More...