Thank you Kashely, Blu, BLT & Cat, I do need to be reminded that just b/c she didn't have any ill intentions doesn't mean that I don't have a right to talk and heal from the damage that was done. New T says she held all the power in the relationship and it was her job, no matter what, to keep me safe by keeping the boundaries in place. Sometimes I tell myself that b/c she did succesfully help me through many things that I do not have the right to be angry or hurt that she damaged me in...Read More...

(((HIC))) (((kashley))) (((scars))) Thanks for all your support. In a pretty bad spot just now, but did want to let you all know I was reading and appreciated that you wroteRead More...

I actually saw her today the the enrolment center and freaked out a little. I went up to her and told her I would drop out of school because it was too uncomfortable of a situation and she told me to schedule and apointment with one of the other counsilers and I am still undecided on that.I am right in the middle of classes right now and I am really dealing with alot of depression and anxiety today. This whole situation just sucks.Read More...

Yeah, makes me laugh out loud now, but at the time....well, you know.Read More...

Thank you, poppet To be honest, I'm also a little bit afraid of hearing a crappy reason. Almost nobody doing such things or far worse has given a reasonable explanation in my life, they always thought they were right regardless of the size of what they did. Please T pleaseee turn out to be nice.Read More...

((((SUMMER))) I read this in Kathy Steele's article on phase oriented trauma treatment and thought of your situation. I'm not sure if it will make you feel much better but here goes: Just wondering if he might be avoiding his own difficult emotions and in the process avoiding yours?Read More...

you have such a lovely voice, BLT! thank you for sharing it with us!Read More...

(((SCARS))) That's a funny dream.Read More...

hmmm very interesting BLT. Food for thought. Thanks.Read More...

I'm sorry to hear that happened Somebody. As painful as relationship troubles are, I think these things happen for the best in the long run. I hope you can do something kind for you today....you deserve that and I wish you all the best. I'm wondering if you've found anybody to hang out with at college yet? College can be a great place if you make a couple of friends...or it can be hard it you are alone. ALso, this is a great site to learn from others on...read some of the great info on here...Read More...

hi avoidant. i completely understand and respect your opinion. i think this is more complicated than i let on. i actually know my T from another sphere in life and she may be able to tolerate some of what i say because she knows me in an entirely different light. also, i do say mean things but we often have productive sessions so its not as though i just go in there and berate her for 50 minutes and leave. i have a lot of problems with devaluing people. i feel very broken and my sense of...Read More...

Thanks, everyoneRead More...

Could you Skype with any of the Ts/Ps?Read More...

Update: My behavioral health case manager called me tonight. She seems nice and to understand the importance of being both accurate and sensitive to how much distress the company has been causing. We scheduled a conversation for 2:00pm tomorrow. She said, because she is on the clinical side of things, she may not know all the answers to the procedural issues, but she will stay with me through the process of getting it, rather than letting me get bounced around unanswered or inaccurately...Read More...

TAS, I wanted to chime in earlier, but I didn't get the chance. I am another person who has had a lot of negative transference with my therapist. I still have a lot of criticisms and doubts about him. I still struggle with it. I am coming up on three years with him. It is definitely not easy. My T does let me tell him how I feel about him and accepts my complaints, and that helps somewhat. It took me a long time to figure out that I should just tell him everything that I felt about him. He...Read More...

Actually the bicycle is easy on the knees if you adjust the bike properly. I ride with a knee replaced and limited range of motion. I also use the recumbent bike at the gym. It is harder on your butt then your knees. It is great exercise and an hour a day will burn a lot of calories.Read More...

Thanks MetaMantraMe and GreenEyes. I appreciate your words and support. MetaMantraMe: What wonderful metaphors... they make perfect sense to me! Thanks for sharing!! I have to agree with this. This week, my T was talking about how when we finally learn to feel, it's unfortunate that all of the bad feelings come up first. But we have to make our way through them so that we can also feel good things. I think that's part of the hell your friend was referring to... all the bad feelings that come...Read More...

(((AV)))Read More...

3M YOU ROCK!Read More...

Hmmm a lot of interesting responses...come to think of it, the only time I didn't see freak when I saw T outside the office was when I invited her to come see me act in a school production last semester. We mingled and had a few laughs afterwards but she sent me on my merry way with my friends...I guess I didn't panic cos I actually was expecting it and we planned it...still weird though. Will it ever stop being weird? :PRead More...

((((Poppet)))) - I don't think you have any reason to feel that you have offended anyone. Your post is brave, wise, and lovely b/c if comes from a place of supporting someone else. ((((((((((Poppet))))))))))))))))Read More...

GreenEyes, Smiley - He is doing better! He got out of ICU and moved to a regular room. Will be in the hospital for a few more days and then moved to a rehab center to get his strength up. He is not really happy about going to "another" hospital lol but he understands. We talked to neurologist about his behavior and he reassured us that it is normal for someone his age after a surgery like this. He said give it at least a month before we expect him to return to a more normal behavior.Read More...

Kmay - It's funny, everything you said I have talked to my T about. She said exactly the same things. To the letter. How do you just believe that? I trust her more than anyone in my life, but I don't. There's something definately wrong with my head! Liese - Right back to ya! Thanks. I've gone over the conversation I want to have with her and I'm afraid that every ending has the same result - goodbye. There's no way that I can just talk to her now. If it's over it has to be over. This sucks...Read More...

Thanks for the Hugs BLT Anon, Athenacus - Yes, she is getting her own needs met. You know the thing is that makes it so hard, is I think its all coming from a good place. A place of her thinking she is "helping". But I just don't understand what she is thinking. I tried to contact her for support a few weeks ago about something else before the stuff with my Dad and she told me she was afraid of hurting me or creating too much dependancy and wouldn't even talk to me. But when it condusive to...Read More...