Thank you, Kashley!Read More...

Hi Ang! I don't think we've met, but I hope it's okay that I chime in here. I do share shameful/graphic things with my T, but I generally do it in writing. I write, and then she reads while we are in session, and she responds (adhering the strict rule that she is not to directly quote anything I have written because it is very upsetting to me). I've been with her for 6 years, and I still have a very difficult time actually talking about too much detail unless she intiates it. For some...Read More...

Aw, thank you, my lovelies. It went better today than I was even hoping, and certainly much better than I was fearing. My anxiety about sharing the poem with her was really mounting as the session drew near. H told me I seemed more nervous about showing a poem to T than he had been about proposing to me. But, I sort of forgot the obvious, that this was not a case of my poem or me being on trial, and the fact of a surprise gift and the charm of the little book itself (it really is a pretty...Read More...

Sounds like a lot of fun. I would also be very scared but if I ever get the chance, I will definitely give it a try.Read More...

Yay, another dream thread! I love these. Lemme see. . . I have a lot of dreams about moving into new houses, or discovering new rooms in an existing house. I tend to interpret them as being about self discovery and/or personal growth. Seems like the jumble of elements in your dream could be reflecting a more chaotic transition to which you still have to adjust, and maybe uncertainty on how best to do so. Resenting a change, perhaps? On some hopeful notes-- 6 other offices plus the one you...Read More...

Well there's definitely that - so I guess if someone that already had NPD became alcoholic as well it wouldn't really change much except intensifying things like being more volotile and unpredicatble.Read More...

The last time my T uttered the word "attachment," I rolled my eyes so badly that she jokingly apologized and mimed trying to stuff the word back into her mouthRead More...

Hey Erica, thanks for replying. No worries about the time replying back, your therapy sounds like it is making you work overtime dealing with it. Mine is kind of putzing along because at the current time, I am only going once a month due to money issues. It is really hard to make any progress at this rate but I have been trying to do a lot of work in between on my own. Keep sticking with yours, it will be hard but I think you will eventually reap the rewards. Take care.Read More...

Hi Alexis, My suggestion would be for you to check out an Al-anon meeting. Anyone who is impacted by someone else's drinking may attend, and it sounds like you're impacted by your friend's parents drinking. Al-anon is for friends and families, and might be the best way you can help your friend!Read More...

I was much calmer after posting and reading Avoidant's reply. By the time I got there I was pretty good - not even much of a tremble going on! It was a good appt - good discussion and some strategizing about procrastination, where that's come from, etc. We talked about my dad - first time ever to anyone other than a friend, and that was ok after the initial "OMG you're giving up The Big Secret!!" and the accompanying feelings of betraying the family. Sigh. Dad's been dead for almost 23 years...Read More...

Thanks BLT. I like your ideas. Wanted to let you know I will be out of town for a few days; will get back to this when I return.Read More...

Sorry for not getting back to you all sooner. (((CD, Hopeful, AG, Starlight, R2G))) CD - I think, on some level, I'd just chosen to forget that she wouldn't always be around for me just because it was too painful. So yes, I'm right there with you.. I always want her to be there. Forever. And I've always been somewhat thankful about the way that she can act like things are normal, except for now. Although I do remember now (I think) that she even mentioned that the reason I might be angry is...Read More...

Oh, interesting Av. This actually fits somewhat for me. Lately, I've been trying to find a job, and I was forced to admit that job searching is not something I am good a. It requires more persistence and discipline than I can easily muster. I can begin to admit that I need help with it, but at the same time I don't want the kind of help some people have to offer, which is to urge you into applying for jobs that seem good but aren't right for you, or to help you make your resume look perfect...Read More...

Kashley, how funny. That's where I got it from. CD, the difference between your situation and the situation in the story is that in the story, the surgery turned out to be unnecessary. In your case, you have some serious quality of life issues. I am so glad your T left the door open for you to return. Do you have a goal in mind in terms of what you want to take care of before you go back to therapy?Read More...

Of course, how could I have missed the connection? Now that should be analyzed; I must have attachment issues. What is the significance of the boomerang?Read More...

Black Tea, Just one more thought. Sometimes it seems the transference gets stronger and really out of control when the therapist isn't necessarily that sensitive. That happened with me and with other members here. Somehow this fosters the "love" feelings on our part - maybe because this is what we are used to. In your case, it doesn't sound like your Dad is very sensitive to you either and that gets confused with being loved - hence your pull towards Richard over Beatrice?Read More...

((((HELD))))) That sounds like a good idea. I was thinking you could do that and just call when you need an extra session or go back to weekly and cancel when you don't need to go. Would you actually call for an extra session? It's still so hard for me to ask for anything though I'm trying to push myself more and more.Read More...

This seemed like an exceptionally lame idea. How else do you overcome self assessment bias indeed. I was actually surprised that the percentages of those who don't improve or deteriorate weren't higher. It seems like such a lot goes into a successful therapy-- has to be the "right" therapist, the "right" time, and the client has to be willing to do the (often draining, exhausting, and excruciating) work. I guess you get out of it what you put into it, but even for that the conditions have to...Read More...

Thank you for your reply Deeplyrooted. It was a help and I think that even if I had the brain scan and it showed PTSD it wouldn't show the why of it. I hope you are doing well. Your reply has caused me to look at it from a different perspective. Thank you, T.Read More...

Black_tea- Thank you for writing back. As I read on this board, I do see a lot of people wanting different types of relationships with their T or at least the feelings for their T are similar to mine. I have two T professors currently that don't believe in transference/countertransference. They say it's a special relationship that the client and therapist have. A kind of relationship that isn't the same as any other because both people bring themselves to the room. I find that a refreshing...Read More...

There are many roles my T takes on - protector and abuser, father, friend and spouse. There are times I'm very clingy and just want to sit on his lap and be cuddled all day and other times I completely despise him and wish we'd never met. All to do with lots of early trauma and deprivation, losing both parents by 27 and current unfulfilled needs with my family.Read More...

Liese I know how awful the limits are and how much emotional pain they can trigger. It is horrendous to be told no to so many things you want and deserve. Unfortunately our relationship with our T's is restricted so we can know our grief, mourn our losses and then heal. So much easier to write this than to do it in practice though. Try not to run from your grief. The more time you spend with it, the less power it will have and the more healed you will become. I'm in a similar boat ATM in my...Read More...

Hi Becca I echo AG's words (hi AG!) and I've struggled (and continue to) with these very same issues. It's very hard to delineate between past and present needs and our deepest relational fears and anxieties are going to come out with a T when we work with them for long enough. It can be a terrifying and excruciating process. But the transference in T helps the healing immensely in the long term and that will carry through to other relationships in time. Big hugs xxRead More...

I had quite a few dreams about my ex-therapist, but I never told him. Here they are: 1)This one was before I met him: My sister was sick and lying in a bedroom at our grandparents' house (she's a patient of his, btw). She was supposed to have a session with him, but instead, he came there. In real life, my sister started seeing him before I did, and told me he looks like Robert De Niro. So, in the dream, I wanted to peek into the room and check if he looks like De Niro. 2)The other dream...Read More...