I really enjoy reading this thread. I met with my pastoral counselor today and realized that I have been seeing her for a couple months now and taking off my shoes has never crossed my mind even though I nearly always take them off when I am with my therapist. It will be interesting to see if this changes with time. deeplyrootedRead More...

Liese, That is an inspiring story. It reminds me of something my therapist said to me at my last session three days ago that I continue to ponder. We were talking about some of my past dysfunctional behavior and she wanted me to know that I am healthy even though this does not mean I no longer need therapy. But, the more I think about her encouragement, the less I look down on myself for the issues I am still trying to resolve. It feels good to have someone believe I am not a hopeless case. ...Read More...

Hey COGS, If I could face my T today, you can face your T tomorrow.Read More...

I agree with CD, it is the sort of thing I do. Anything nice comes my way, deflect.Read More...

Hey everybody - I didn't want to post all of this and then disappear after all of your thoughts and support, so I wanted to say I'm still around but not I'm not able to post an update right now. I had a sort of rough T appointment and then fell apart and had a really rough week. I'm doing better now, but feeling really shaky and every time I think about my old T or my new T it all gets triggered again so I'm trying to take a break from thinking about it and just get on with my life a bit. I...Read More...

Thank you for the responses, All!Read More...

hi blacktea! it sounds like a very hard decision considering your history with your ex T (R) and the fact that your new T (B) has been so good to you. seeing things from the sidelines with no emotional investment, I would say stick with B, she sounds a lot more stable, like she has her stuff figured out therefore is in a much better place to help you, like she's been doing already. R on the other hand, even if he was happy to see you, i dont think he should have allowed 'the awkward' thing...Read More...

Cat, I was just thinking the other day, I haven't seen a post from you in ages. Good to see you back and sorry for all the trouble you are going through. Please hang in there and take care.Read More...

i agree with the above, it's doing things that words can't really convey. sometimes i don't notice when i do it, but i'm sure i do.Read More...

I have the relax melodies app - it's a good one!Read More...

Hi Becca, Thanks so much for writing! I wrote something to my T like nine months ago and I have only brought up the word like two times since then...I said that yesterday that I have put people on a pedestal and it needs to be talked about so we will talk next week...just got off of a two minute phone conversation with her but couldn't really talk. I hope you'll be able to bring it up with your T also soon...sometimes I'll do something dumb like I did today when I called her which I will...Read More...

Thanks for all your replies. Liese my H does his own therapy but has tremendous difficulties with trust. He's just started with a new T after 3 or 4 years with another T that seemed to make minimal difference. SD I have made a number of new friendships since starting with my T. And it's through the work with him that I've come to see my family are all pretty much narcissistic, sociopathic or codependent and are of little value in terms of Interpersonal support. Avoidant I'm sorry to hear of...Read More...

Hey Tas, I'm gonna just keep it short coz I don't want to go into the details, but to answer your question I have tried hypnosis and for me it was not a positive feeling - quite the opposite. Would I ever do it again? Simple answer - no. I guess you will have to make up your own mind on that one. B2WRead More...

((AG)) Such a great phrase. I thought it was you who coined it. It really captures the essence of the experience. Such a great phrase for such a shitty place.Read More...

Hi TAS, I don't think we have met so I will tell you I spent years in negative transference with my former T and it was hellish. I didn't understand why I couldn't fully trust her or why I felt the way I did. I may not explain this very well but for me I had to learn to follow those negative feelings back to the first time I felt that pain in childhood. Then to focus those hurt feelings on the original person who triggered them and make the current pain about the first offense. I was not...Read More...

thank you Av, I have printed the list and will take a close look at it later.Read More...

Oh, how cool, puppet! I hope you enjoy it. Keep me posted (if you like). "The Way of Our Kind" is my new favorite in the book. I think it really captures some of the humanness and wistfulness of therapy in a very beautiful way. In fact I think I'm going to go read it again right now. . .Read More...

(((AV))) Thanks for the congrats and support. Of course how I feel about it is what matters. Wish I could get that through my thick head. (((BLT))) My first response was to say, "wow, how did she know that?" Then I wondered, "wow, is it that obvious?" Do you think other people really don't care? I would love to believe that. I think other people's comments to me over the years are stuck in my head. A big step forward for me was becoming aware of those thoughts. It hasn't been easy though I...Read More...

Very cute hedgehog! "Tim Hortons" (the name on the mug) is a Canadian chain restaurant that serves coffee and donuts. Delicious!Read More...

(((Starfishy))) I've missed you too!Read More...

(((((Liese))))) I am sorry that you go through such difficulties too, but reading more on what you said i understand that you come out of it in a good way and that is lovely!! This does give me some inspiration and makes it easier for me I don't have a T but i think i can handle myself for now and get a grip on things This forum is so very helpful for that!!Read More...

Hi COGS, That's an interesting explanation he gave you. I've had a similar experience lately. I used to have to check in often to make sure he wasn't sick of me. I think I've gotten to the point where I really trust that he's not sick of me and we talk more about the stuff that is happening in my life as opposed to my relationship with him. Funny that you say that it feels like something is missing because I did feel like that for a while and still do to some extent. It's like, for me, all...Read More...

Thanks! To be honest, it was not the things I was doing, it was simply the way I perceived the world and my life. Instead of going through the motions of eating breakfast, I actually really was there eating breakfast. I would take a bite of cereal and think, "Wow, this is delicious. I am just eating cereal right now and that's all I'm thinking about and it's so great...why didn't I realize how delicious this cereal is until just now!!" I did not suddenly do crazy, exciting things...I simply...Read More...

I remember my T telling me that he thought I should just confront my dad early in my therapy. I literally told him to shut up. BUT ...it was the beginning of working through the abuse and getting real with it all and then about a year later I chose to actually confront my abuser. It was a really freeing experience. ALL THAT SAID you really have to be at a place of peace and that you cannot expect anything from your abuser. This confrontation is when you are ready to let it go and be at peace...Read More...

Your use of words!!Read More...