Hi Frye! I think there are other topics on this subject, if you use the search feature. From what I understand, prolonged exposure is effective if you can finish the course of treatment, however it is often not well tolerated. In other words, many people being treated with prolonged exposure end treatment before it's complete because the process is too uncomfortable. Some of the newer trauma therapies (EMDR, somatic experiencing, etc.) seem to be better tolerated and equally effective. In...Read More...

I've been thinking about this alot lately. I never wanted to depend on anyone. It was always the biggest thing between me and my t. I have come through alot and I am just starting to realize that I do depend on her alot. I expect her to answer me right away - even though she doesn't. I expect her to be there no matter what. I know that she is but I don't always use what is available to me. Like in most of my really bad times, as you folks have seen me here write, she sometimes doesn't get...Read More...

Hi SWP, I think a lot of us here have had issues with separation - from our therapists. You will get a lot of support here with this issue. You happened to post in the book forum. Why not try to post in coffee chat or in the questions about my shrink or therapy?Read More...

Thanks for asking this Incognito. "Working through feelings" is a phrase that can be in some cases at least a psych cliche. I guess we keep working on these feelings but haven't gotten through them. I certainly have some emotions and memories that I have carried around with me for many years. I don't know if they will.ever stop.haunting me or transform into something constructive. On the other hand, I have had some success in processing difficult feelings with emdr. Intense emotions that had...Read More...

BLT, That sounds really good. I'm going to look for it.Read More...

(((PUPPET))) The woman T I saw before my current T did this and I didn't find it helpful AT ALL. It felt very invalidating. My current T doesn't do it AT ALL. We talk about what's bothering me - whether it has to do with him or not - and we take it at face value. I needed to have my feelings validated first I think. I have read that it's not a good idea to make the connections back to the past for some people and it sounds to me like it's not working for you. Is that something you can talk...Read More...

(((JONES))) Happy Holidays to you too! (I'm not good at importing so this will have to do. We need some holiday emoticons. )Read More...

(((HELD)))) It IS difficult to wrap my head around it too. I don't want the label to define me. I didn't struggle with the trauma label but I have struggled with other labels. I can relate to how it might feel foreign and as if it solely and completely defines who we are. You shouldn't question that you are struggling with the label. You are and that's okay. You have to work it through until you understand what it means for you and feel at peace with it.Read More...

Thank you everyone for the kind replies. I don't want it to seem like everything is peachy now. But I do feel I've grown A LOT. And yeah, I'm really proud of the relationship T and I have built through lots of effort on both sides.Read More...

((((TN)))) How are you doing?Read More...

Sure. Today is a little tough, we had a bad first winter storm so my last session of the week was canceled. The last before Christmas . I mean I understand you know? Safety and all, and all schools were closed. So that means snow day for his kids. Yes boundaries no matter how safe feels like rejection! Ok next Thursday needs to come super fast! Keep writing. I think I may hug my worry stone today.Read More...

Turtle, if you're around we would love to hear how this went. My former T was training in AEDP. I think it's a really interesting model of therapy, but it turned out to be too intense for me.Read More...

(((TAS)))) How are you doing? Did you go back?Read More...

I remember going through a stage of this in therapy. I told T I realized I had been trying to get my attachment needs met in all the wrong places for a very long time because I didn't have a choice, but I had a choice now about it, finally. That was a very liberating thing for me to realize! At this point I seem to be able to accept love from T *and* look for it elsewhere at the same time, so I guess it's the best of all possible scenarios.Read More...

My abrupt and unexpected term from T 1.5 years ago causes me problems in my therapy life constantly. This quote above really reminded me of it. It has stunted my progress, attachment, relationship, trust - everything with my new T - everything I do is based on fear that I am going to do the wrong thing, say the wrong thing and that my T will terminate me too. Fear is the basis of everything. And just when I have been on a good path with it, something will come up that will trigger a relapse...Read More...

((( BLT ))) and ((( TN ))) thank you both for your insight! this has given me alot to think about and even hope about. i read both of your replies days ago and wanted to respond then, but things get busy. indeed, things still are busy, but i really wanted you both to know that i read what you wrote and it has helped me alot come to terms with the feelings of betrayal in therapy. thank you both for your wisdomRead More...

(((((((( R2G ))))))) Glad you managed to talk to T about this and feel a bit more accepting of where you're at. Even if it sucks . LLRead More...

You and me both! That's the way to look at it! I think you are right, AV! Scars, I think you are right!!!Read More...

Hey AV! Have to say my choice in terms of T's or very close friends for that matter has always been female. That is not to say I don't get on with men. Growing up I was such a tomboy and as a result had a lot of guy friends. I really enjoy talking to men about certain topics of conversation, but somehow the conversations are different to what I talk to females about. I think I just identify more with females. On top of that I wouldn't feel comfortable talking to a male T about sexual issues,...Read More...

their 'I guess' I do not know anyone who goes the online road myself. I have seen a few T's advertising sessions V skype. thats about it. I would think however some people may feel it is easey to talk to a person not a screen or deal with a issue on the phone. On the other hand if someone has tried and given up on face to face talk talk maybe it is worth a shot... after all, can it hurt any more that life it self. NDRead More...

KD and Jones, thanks so much for responding. Big hugs to you both too LLRead More...

Hi stillhealing, I saw a consult T after two years with my T. I had several months of difficulty with my relationship with him and went back and forth quite a bit in my mind. Like you, I also talked to him about the problems I was having with my therapy with him. When I first made the appointment with the consult, I was very upfront about it, and I told my T I was going before I went. However, I did end up telling him this in a phone message, which was not ideal, but it was how it worked out...Read More...

BLT You make a very good point. I love the Marsha Linehan story. The answer is probably a very individual thing. I don't have a choice in my case so hopefully I'll come to appreciate the positive aspects you talked about. Or not, right? Who says you have to cry in therapy? Sorry for the hijack Lucina ...Read More...

No, you didn't offend me. I was just trying to clarify my opinions on EMDR and trauma processing in general. I wasn't sure whether you might have gotten the message from what TN wrote than EMDR is useless for complex trauma, which is something I would disagree with. I guess I also heard TN as saying (even though she probably didn't mean to) only psychodynamic T's are effective for certain things, and my own opinion is that my T and TN's are totally different in their training and approach,...Read More...

I am hoping the meds will make a difference after all this resistance. She has only seen me a few times and does not know me yet, though i do feel comfortable with her. I reckon he is fed up with me not opening up fast enough (just my perspective) for him. The way I have been feeling these past few weeks is really getting me down and I need help to shift the cloud. AV did not blow hard enough!!! (on another thread) I am just going to ramble now, because I don't know where to put it and am...Read More...