Thanks ninna, I'm also a child of divorced paren ts and I didn't have a choice, I rarely saw my dad. I think the kids should have some say, and I think you're right, I think my son just needs his dad right now, I'm sure it will change through the years.Read More...

TN, I know you are right. I think if I were able to allow myself to attach to my T I would believe I could fully heal but the thought of that stirs up too much shame. I was with my former T for almost five years before she terminated me and although I was unconsciously attached, I felt way too much shame to allow myself to feel attached to her. Does that make sense? This inability was part of the reason therapy failed with her. Like you, that termination really set me back. I am still...Read More...

It's strange I always thought my transference was toward a mother figure in my casual relationships it is. I think what I was looking for was a Father. When I found someone like that it turn things upside down. When he stopped his practice,it was done. I don't want to look anymore it not only hurts but feels dangerous.Read More...

Hi once nice to see you here. Keep in with T she sounds like a good one. NDRead More...

AV I missed this post, sorry! Lol about the forums, I'm still trying to work out how to use them, will let you know what they're like once I've had a decent look myself. Hey about being courageous, you know your comment reminds me of times when various Ts I've had have said they thought I was being very courageous for continuing to put myself into therapy despite everything - and I'd say, no it's not courage it's sheer desperation. I have no option... So if you don't feel it's courageous, if...Read More...

Oh I can so relate to this one. Last year I left a prayer minister because of transference and countertransference. The prayer minister didn't know how to help me through this stuff. I was projecting him to be my father, set him up to reject and abandoned me and was a total mess. When I met my liscensed therapist I was very hesitant to form a bond. I did not want to become attached to him. I told him that over and over and he was really good at helping me to honor that. I remember one time...Read More...

(((Scars))) (((Draggers))) (((Starfishy))) (((Lampers))) Thank you all. Scars; yes we did all we could and in the end I think it was enough. Five of us had a good day and one (my mum) you can never really tell anyway!! Draggers; it is a bit rude isn't it. You may be right in that she sees it as a bit of a favour, her coming to see us, I don't know. Maybe thre's some sort of guilt? on her part that makes it hard for her to speak to me? Starfishy; thank you. I'm so sorry your mum treated you...Read More...

Hi Non, So good to hear from you and your news, I am really pleased that has worked out for you. Sorry that you feel you have to shut away right now, you must do whatever you need to in order to feel safe, but know we are always here for you when you can pop back starfishyRead More...

Thanks everyone....still feeling ok for the moment, so riding the wave as they say!Read More...

TAS-- I would definitely want to know just for the sake of knowing what's on my insurance records if for nothing else. If you are paying with insurance, I believe the T has to give a diagnosis after a fixed number of sessions to "justify" continued treatment. Is your T refusing to tell you your diagnosis unless you have the conversation in the way he wants you to? I'm not sure they can with hold information like that-- I would think you have a right to know what's on your records. Possibly...Read More...

(((((( Puppet )))))) And (((((( Scars ))))))) too. I hear what you're saying but it doesn't ring bells with me - except maybe in the sense that fear is so constant and FAMILIAR that if it weren't there I probably wouldn't recognize myself or the world. So maybe that's similar? LLRead More...

Glad I could help!!Read More...

I totally understand what you are saying...I am alowed to email my T, because she says, that it is better said or written than keeping all frustration inside. I have problems talking to her eye-to-eye...So I think it is really good, that you've written to her and that you got her reply...I do think it is good to have email contact, because you can read it when ever you want. It is just that written word lasts longer. Okay with limitations, I only write when I am in huge pain. Hope u update...Read More...

Yep, I agree with Draggers entirely.Read More...

(((TAS))) i'm sorry you are feeling so low and hopeless, i know the feeling... and sometimes its nice just to hear someone tell us it will all be ok, even if we don't really believe it, but it gives us hope. i am really sorry that i can't say that to you (because i am feeling pretty hopeless too...) i'm sorry if the only positive thing i can tell you is that i hear you and that you deserve positive words and hope. puppetRead More...

(((COGS))) Sometimes I find talking about it helps even if nothing can be done about it. Good luck.Read More...

originally posted by ((( HIC ))): HIC, i think that's all very insightful! if you don't mind, i'm going to print that out because it really resonates with me. i'm going to dissect that and try to integrate that into my life. i think that's been a struggle in therapy from day one for me ... i've always felt as though going to therapy felt like i was literaly stripping down to nakedness, and that's held me back in therapy, i think. just the whole surrendering of yourself to another person, and...Read More...

Aw thanks Kmay for saying such nice things about me . Good to hear you’re keeping the fighting spirit up despite how crap you must be feeling. And the way you describe interviewing and recruiting in your work, yeah that sounds like a good model to follow, it is similar isn’t it, we are after all looking for a T with the right training the right experience the right attitude and most importantly of all, the right fit. Best of luck in the search LLRead More...

Friends! I have been sooooo sick. Boo! Just now catching up on this whole thread CTL - Thank you and no worries. I just wasn't sure so I started a new one just in case Liese - No paranoid thoughts at all It's actually something that has been on my mind since it happened. And although I know it's not exactly the same type of thing that you were talking about, I felt like it sort of related. I know for sure without a doubt that my T cared about me. I think though, in just that one instance,...Read More...

Welcome Jside. I'm glad you found us and I hope you feel comfortable enough to keep posting and sharing. Look forward to knowing you better. TNRead More...

Also wanted to say I like how you phrased that and agree that it is probably an essential place to get to before The End. If we haven't learned to differentiate, departure could be felt as terrifying but we know from countless examples that it doesn't have to be that way. Good thoughts, if a bit sobering. I hadn't really considered that aspect of separation/detachment before.Read More...

Hi Jside, I missed this somehow. Are you in the U.S.? I go to a group where everything now is stored on the laptop and I know for a fact that my ENT, for example, can see my notes made by the family doctor. Last time I saw my ENT, he said, after looking at my notes, "I'd be crazy too if I had all those kids." I don't know if there is a way to prevent that from happeneing because they are all in the same group but you might want to consider talking to a lawyer about your HMO releasing ...Read More...

Big s to you all - you're a really good bunch of people!Read More...

(((AV))) Thanks for sharing. It looks like a gold mine.Read More...

Hi: She still has an active account, yes. However; even with an inactive account or a suspended account she could still look at posts as a guest. CTLRead More...