Update from today's session. We are down to only one more session. Why am I having a hard time letting go? I was bound and determined today to be ok with ending. During the session I was brave and relaxed. I felt fine, but a little confused too. T talked about us ending as her door is always open and I can come back at any point in the future. In my mind I was thinking that we are ending and I was going to get a referral or start seeing someone new closer to my school (for free). T seemed to...Read More...

((((((DGUOM)))))) Just checking in.Read More...

TAS... I really like your T. He is doing it so right and you are also doing what you are supposed to do (even if it is unpleasant now). My T teases me that we are nicely attached... despite all my kicking and screaming. He's right, darn him! You need someone in your life to be steady and consistent. And of course this will make you feel very uncomfortable. He is not behaving the way you expect him to behave, the way the abusive people in your life have behaved towards you. He is there for...Read More...

(((Draggers))) - Yes! You hit the nail on the head. About it being the "norm" for us. I can still remember so clearly when I first started to realize that what went on in my home didn't go on in all my friends homes. It didn't really dawn on me then that it wasn't normal, I just became more aware of how different I was. I became embarrased, humiliated, and also nervous to ever have someone over to my house. But I still thought it was "normal", you know, for me. Its so weird about the bits...Read More...

I had a good session with T1 on Wednesday even though I felt horrible... it was just how things were able to feel settled in session. At one point I said... 'Why do I feel so nervous and freaked out right now' and she said 'Probably because you're looking at me...' I've been so good at that lately so every time I do that I feel good. I was able to read her a prose thing I wrote and................ let her photocopy it (it was hand written and I ... I dunno) a definite new level of...Read More...

Re: sliding scalesRead More...

You're welcome BF - it's my pleasure. Good luck with whatever you decide to do next. Maybe you could update here? LLRead More...

AWww, Thanks R2G.Read More...

(((BG))) All my kids are gone by 8 a.m. and home by 3. It sounded like such a gift after summer vacation but it really does fly, doesn't it? Why can't we just block out the dust? Hope tomorrow has less interference for you. I'm going to put on the kettle now. Would you like to join me for a cup of tea?Read More...

I meet with "my man" on Friday and I will have to face the embarrassment of the text I sent, deep breath and all the rest, I go red at the drop of a hat!!! My mother, after giving the "speech" decided to get slightly better and is now talking about going home. That is so much pressure for me. She cannot cope on her own and I am not mentally fit to deal with it I think. A friend says I should tell the hospice what is going on in my life so that they can then adapt the care package. Ah what to...Read More...

Hello Starfishy, you might just see me over in Countdown soon at that too I expect clinical psychs are more busy than 'normal' therapists, but I'm seeing this one privately, so she ought to be just as available. It's something that came up next week for her that meant she couldn't see me during that week, but when you've only got a once weekly appointment, missing one appointment means a two week wait. Which suddenly seems like a very long time... Hope things are going well for you (((((...Read More...

Hello Anon, I don't have anything reassuring to add seeing as how I don't have children and haven't got any experience of what you are going through. Just wanted to pipe up to say I'm glad Boo is able to get back to school and relieve both you and her of the stress surrounding her being sick. Hope she gets better really quickly. LLRead More...

Av - "Poor little bunny..." I think one of those scientists works over in my neck of the woods, if I remember correctly.Read More...

You hum it, Draggers, I'll play it! ((((Draggles)))) My best advice for the tired is just to let it go. Give yourself a break. Cup of tea. Mind the bannisters. xxxxRead More...

HIC hang on to it, any medal is worth keepingRead More...

(((Anon))) I have been thinking about you. I think you did really well to call - I hope you feel a little more in control now. Some information definitely better than no information.Read More...

Re: Last Post is the WinnerRead More...

R2G ~ thank you, thank you, thank you!!! This is so helpful! I'm looking forward to exploring these links, books, and resources. Thanks for the encouragement too ~ janeRead More...

(((xoxo))) i'm sorry that you're leaving but you have given us a lot and i have seen you grow and become more free and lighter and more open and that is truly inspiring and i'm so happy for you!!! i hope that you pop in and say hello once in a while, but even if you can't, i will think of you once in a while anyway and smile good luck to you too xx hugs, puppetRead More...

thank you for sharing your story nannabee, you wrote so beautifully and openly, it inspires me... to write my own list perhaps... and to consider the possibility of writing my own story. puppetRead More...

Hi Catalyst I was finally able to relieve some of my emotional pain last night as I sat with God so the pain is still here yet much more manageable. I like how you explained the shame tied to the anger- Thank you that helps alot! : ) I haven't heard from my therapist yet as it is the weekend and he has Fridays off so I will have to wait until Monday. I ended up sending him 3 total emails. One with a prayer request, one asking for a second appt and another deep prayer request based on...Read More...

Uggggghhhhh, I was in the backseat of a car driving around Maine yesterday all day. Got a few moments to myself this morning so I want to thank everyone for replying and respond before I have to get in the back of that car again. (((HELD))) I couldn't cry with my T for a really long time. Finally did cry with him over feeling like he was ignoring my pain . Oh, that really felt good. He WAS ignoring my pain but you know who (FOO) really ignored my pain . So, it was sort of doubly healing. He...Read More...

I was able to let go of some deep sexual pain with my male T. It was really a great feeling once I was able to say it out loud. Now we can talk about orgasm and other sexual words without much shame. Bringing things into the Light feels so good and freeing.Read More...

Thanks everyone. It is fascinating to read about how different T relationships go in all these little details. So fun to learn that some of you make lighthearted, just for fun communications regularly. Knowing this somehow makes me feel like lightening up a bit, lol, as opposed to worrying over this. I'm sure T will just be amused if anything. She hasn't emailed me back but probably she will say something about it at our next session. Looking forward to her reaction.Read More...

I'm sorry that it's taken me a while to respond to people who have posted. Typically, that sense of "this is tough but ok" turned into "this is practically impossible!" as I got through my mother's anniversary and bit of a hiccup (huge understatement) with my T. But I've bounced back a little and was really glad that some of you found my post helpful. Thank you for taking the time to respond. Monte, I agree that anything that takes the pressure off is great. I haven't come across...Read More...