Isn't it though? *sigh* PS: Thank you for your blog updates.Read More...

((((SOMEBODY)))) I'm sorry to hear about your problems with school and with your therapist leaving. When I was in college, I went to university counseling center several times for therapy. I didn't know at first that our relationship would end at the end of the year. It happened twice to me and I found it difficult to deal with. It HAS to be hard getting attached to someone and then having to start over. Do you think you will have more stability moving to another clinic? If going to your...Read More...

Love this too!Read More...

I just wanted to come back and thank everyone for their kind thoughts and empathy for my situation at work. It has taken me a few weeks to settle in after my vacation. As for work, nothing has been definitely decided yet. I approached the manager again with the guy I want to work with. There seems to be bigger changes in the air, with some new hires possibly coming on board so no definite answers at this point. As for the guy who is not getting his "money's worth" from me. Well now he is...Read More...

Hi MC, Here is the title: Resolving Impasses in Therapeutic Relationships It's great if you can get your hands on it.Read More...

Thanks for posting that MC. I found it thought provoking. TNRead More...

RT, thank you so much for your words of wisdom. They are priceless!! It sounds like with the help of your T, you are doing what you can to care of yourself. That's a good thing. Thinking of you.Read More...

Okay, I haven't realized that pre-verbal means I can be the child self and adult at the same time in the session. That explains a lot. Actually I do that. T asks me how the inner kid feels and I tune in and report in words. I'm relieved to know that's how it works, because it would be embarrassing to my adult self to just get into the child mode and babble baby talk or start sucking my thumb. I realize therapy can sometimes go there, but I'm not ready for that, maybe never will be. As for...Read More...

Hi Cogs, Thanks for asking. It's going well. She's great. Talk about feeling emotionally safe. What a big difference. She has been away working although we skype even when she's home so it doesn't feel like she's away. Her emails are lovely and never trigger me the way my Old therapist's emails did. Just from the reading I have done, I feel confident that she is on top of her game. She is really smart. She gets supervision if something bothers her. She's confident that she is competent but I...Read More...

Thank you (((SB))) and (((Caroola))) it helps having it reaffirmed and it haloes a lot to have it be 'ok' I can keep sharing and posting how I feel. I'm pushing down a lot of fear at the moment, pretending it isn't there - the plane being shot down over Ukraine has not helped with my huge fear of something happening to my T. If there is a car accident in my city and someone is killed I always think / fear what if it's her involved. With her going to the other side of the world, it feels like...Read More...

Hi MsC, Thanks for your reply. It really is interesting and fortunate to learn that well into our adult years we still have the ability to lay down new neural pathways and affect changes to our behavior. I'm now facing the most difficult part of my therapy. Realizing how my alcoholic father really messed me up during my childhood. To answer your question my T doesn't specialize in PTSD/trauma per-say, but she does specialize in aspects directly connected with it (anxiety, depression,...Read More...

Ah... Sorry. I am a control freak! How I have learned to (slowly, painfully) control things and want to know systems and processes, etc has been learning how to trust myself/others and... Being willing to be in pain. It's also as trauma is processed. I feel less fear in the world. But I'd say im maybe only 10% along in getting this under control? t says it's gonna die hard!!! Hopefully I understand more!Read More...

Thank you for sharing HC. My mornings the past three days have been alot better. I asked my doctor to change my sleeping medication and that alone has helped incredibly. I have made it a point to have something planned for the day to get me out for a bit and get me moving so I don't have time to get stuck in my thoughts. And I am trying to adopt ElizaJs great attitude for looking at the morning as being just for me. It feels like special time when I am having my coffee and surfing the net in...Read More...

Maybe consider giving T a box of condoms as a "back-to-work" gift.Read More...

Hi Affinity - It sounds like these are hard times in your therapeutic work, and that you have a myriad of emotions that are ricocheting through your body. I am wondering, though, what you think your T meant when he said it would be "cruel" to incorporate touch into your therapy. I have had major problems with touch since I was a little girl, and I've been through lots of iterations in approaching the issue with a handful of therapists. With current T, whom I have been seeing since November,...Read More...

Thanks Caroola and Draggers I wont reply. It is more empowering not to as you say. It's kind that she left the door open. I'd be uncomfortable with a more personal reply, as it was relayed via a 3rd party!!! I'd feel kind of exposed. Her message was sent via someone at the main office. NHS - you'd not even get that! I'm not looking for a T at the moment. I might contact my ex-T again sometime, who knows.Read More...

Hi Ninn, thanks for sharing about the cards, maybe that would be a better idea than the stones. Sometimes things feel like a big commitment that I won't be able to get out of. Probably me just running away from my feelings again! It's great that your t like the cards so it might not feel strange bring them into your session.Read More...

Yes, I do respect my T. I value his opinion on things, I take what he says into account, even though it is hard for me to hear, at times. I value the fact that he challenges me on all different levels of my life, without coming off as a know-it-all. I've been lucky because I have respected all 3 of the T's I have had in my past. But, like others have said, I think the respect is mutual, too. LJBRead More...

Hi ElizaJ, I am not sure if I am going to phone him. My mind is trying to absorb the actual absurdity of it all. Literally it was like I was not even in the room after the client walked in and T was totally relaxed and like shifted gears, like I wasn't there. I am still like WTF HAPPENED. I don't feel particularly traumatized by it, I just don't understand what happened. I am angry that he didn't follow up with a phone call last night or today. It was just all so beyond weird. I sit here and...Read More...

Thank y'all for the encouragement. I am sorry y'all understand all to well. He did apologize. He did explain it and I understood. It could of happened to anyone but at the same time it could not have come at a worse time. I am angry and frustrated with myself as well for not talking about what I needed to. I let my emotions get the best of me and shut down. Now I have to try and deal with it till our next meeting. Surely I won't be as mad and upset then. Hopefully!Read More...

Hi Longroad. To be honest I am not sure I want him to know how much he hurt me. And im afraid to ask any questions as I dont believe he will answer them. Im also afraid to be honest in case he says something that will upset me or make me angry. I mean im already amgry as it is. I dont even think he could offer me a relationship because really I dont even know him. God its so weird having a father but not knowing anything about him apart from the fact that he was an alcoholic. Life is not fairRead More...

Hi SB. Im not sure where you are from but I guess its the UK? I just wanted to say that I understand where you are coming from. I had similar problem, not with the object but I couldnt open up to the counsellor. I saw 2 different counsellors and it wasnt working for me. I missed sessions every 2 or 3 weeks and in the end I stopped going. But then I found a counsellor who is amazing and I go and see him every week. It took me 9 months to find him. The sessions are through a church and its...Read More...

Hi Everyone, I want to thank you all for your input. Your willingness to share your experiences and opinions with me is a wonderful asset and helps me to more forward in my therapy. After two years my T and I are starting to look more closely at the root causes of my CPTSD and just what is was like for me growing up with an alcoholic, emotionally abusive father. I think for the next few sessions I'm going to focus more on her statements to better access the level of support I feel I'm...Read More...

PF, It is SO difficult when you are in your 30's and it seems that everyone around you has that already established group of girlfriends. I haven't moved recently like you, but I do feel like I have. When I started therapy and learning the meaning of healthy relationships, I started realizing that the friendships I did have around me were not so. I ended a few relationships, I let a few grow in distance, and I have tried to place others in a different category(maybe acceptance that our...Read More...

I love that blog. Thanks for posting this. Commitment. I have heard that word from my T, too. My word. My commitment. It feels good to know that she is there; committing to the work we are doing together. That's such an action of love, like the quote states." I needed to read this right now, so thank you again!Read More...