i wish i had some answers for you a lot of times i just keep going looking for some small things to help keep me focused and out of my head. do you want to write more about what is going onRead More...

thanks for sharing something so sweet i love to read posts that are so happy.have fun with your new puppy.i think it has found it's way into the most perfect situation.who better to understand what the puppy has gone through.it is in the right placeRead More...

Hi all. I just gave up and sent my t a e-mail, I have tried to use other forms of help last days but no luck, so I really as my last chance I sent my T e-mail, I don´t know if he answer or not...Read More...

I have T tomorrow - I did write her something. If I don't walk in and immediately have a panic attack... I might give it to her. It's really, really hard having two Ts because I have to go through the hard stuff sometimes twice (I don't have to, but for the sake of consistency for my care team I have to). So it's T1 I see tomorrow, T2 is the one I told stuff to. Right now I'm supposed to contain what's bugging me in the 'for later box' (trauma hates going in the for later box, but as long as...Read More...

Hi and Welcome! Intheshadows-I do this shutting down thing too. I just read an article on mindfulness and have tried it twice in classroom situations in the last 6 months. I think if I could train myself in mindfulness I might be able to overcome the shutting down. I think I'm going to talk to T about it next session.Read More...

I'm reading a book called "Controlling People" by Patricia Evans right now. Wow. Just...check it out. This book has helped me realize that I AM NOT the crazy one!! I expected as much from family, but not from a therapist. I'm still shocked by it, to be honest. It is surreal is that MANY therapists are controlling. I just talked to a new T and he even told me that the new trend in therapy is to blame the client for the shortcomings of the therapist. For real. My father was unaware and felt...Read More...

Re: I did this...Read More...

believe it or not my T doesn't bring up my not talking much at all i either talk or not.i dont think she wants to feed the fear.im glad for that although a few times some bad things were going on and i guess she needed me to talk and that is when she turns into boot camp T.when they say a T cant make you talk that isnt true.i did learn if needed my T can make me talk but it isn't comfortable in fact it is a horrible experiance.one when i was able to ask what was wrong and why is she doing...Read More...

(((Anna))) So sorry for all you have had to endure. I echo what Outsider has said, especially about healing taking a long time. Also... I can't speak for your ex, of course, but I think abusers are often like the drunk drivers that walk away from an accident that leaves the innocent ones injured and forever scarred. What the driver did - how they've hurt someone, and their culpability - often doesn't sink in to him for years, even decades. If ever, in some cases. Sometimes they're truly...Read More...

people here are so nice you are all stuck with me nowRead More...

Thanks for fast reply , I was often thinking what it meant, best to have right from the beginning ..Read More...

Thanks for the link XOXO... I am working my way through the list. The article on non-erotic love in the therapeutic dyad resonated with me and I think I need to talk to my T about Ferenczi. My T is very open to there being love in the therapeutic relationship ... on BOTH sides. He always tells me he is not immune to the feelings... nor is he frightened of them (which oldT was). It really helps that my T does not avoid the word "love"... although I am still gun-shy about it myself after what...Read More...

thanks, you guys. your support means alot. i sometimes think weekly sessions would be good, just because it seems like i go through so many feelings between sessions. this forum has been a huge help in carrying me from one session to the next. for one thing, i unfortunately can't afford weekly sessions. plus, i wonder if the intensity would be too much. plus, i don't know ... i kind of feel pressure from him. and that pressure makes me feel like i'm making a personal affront to him, which...Read More...

hi BG im new here but i can totally relate to this.i bring a stuffy every week to T.it helps ground me.my T even talks to it sometimes lol. awsome with being able to leave it at home and have a great session but remember it is ok to want to bring it.Read More...

((((IRIS)))) I'm so sorry about the situation surrounding your birth and the problems your mother had. It sounded incredibly painful and I think you are amazing for surviving and making life better for yourself. It couldn't have been easy. One of the hardest things I've had to do is come to terms with what I don't have compared to what other people have and that includes not really having a family. I have a mother, sister and brother but for different reasons, they are not sources of joy or...Read More...

AG, thanks for the link. I've read that post before, but filed it away under "Makes perfect sense ... for other people ... but in my case it was ALL MY FAULT!" I'll add it to my list of things to listen to. landaRead More...

thanks TN for your thoughts. My T is already gone so no transitional object this week. I'm going to try the doggie treats. Your dragon is wonderful especially because he picked it out to give to you. I will probably send him an email. I'm doing okay tonight and it is only one week.Read More...

Hi Nannabee...thank you for posting this link. I am busy reading through many of the articles which are helpful. I found an attachment article in an older issue which is very interesting and something else on self-hatred which I may share with T. Thanks again, TNRead More...

(((((HI LG))))) So nice to see you. I take it you are still with T3. How are things going? It sounds like she might have looked at your Facebook page. Hey, maybe our T's are just as curious about our lives as we are about theirs!!! LOl!!! Can you ask her how she knows what so and so looks like?Read More...

Well HIC, all I can say is that bashing your head into a wall hoping your parent will magically change...is something almost all of us have done at one time or another. Giving up that fight is HARD. But for me at least, things have been better on the other side. Not that I never slide back into head-bashing, but at least I can be realistic most of the time.Read More...

((((CAT)))) Now I understand what you mean. I've been in that position with my T and understand how that feels. The most salient example I can think of is when my T started to hug me last December. Part of me really really loved it and part of me was really pissed off that he didn't ask. I mean, really pissed off. I held off telling him until after the holidays but decided it was best to tell him because my anger was really intense. I knew I ran the risk of having him withdraw the hugs -...Read More...

Hi Liese, I would enjoy reading that article. Sorry it took me so long to respond but I had a lot going on with school.. I am reading all the posts but am still too fried to write at the present moment :0Read More...

it makes me smile to read what everyone is having to say (and HIC, I did read the original post I just didn't have a reply at the time that would really fit). I really like my Ts, I (now) find them sweet, love them and love tons about them but they still LOOK in intimidating. They give off a presence that is beautiful and over time it has felt safer and more comfortable and cozy but nothing to do w/ them physically Maybe that is my version of this. I'm kind of jealous (SORRY to admit!) that...Read More...

I like the pigeon analogy! Something for me to think about. And BLT... it is a bit of a paradox, isn't it? The more I allow myself the option of not trusting/the more I trust myself, the less fear I have, and the more I can trust those that ARE perhaps trustworthy.. And then there are those that have good intentions but do harm anyway. I can use my BS detector up to a point, but I'm also teaching myself that people do weird things and it might hurt me and I'm not going to hold myself...Read More...