Hi there Quilter its nice to meet you, i dont think we`ve talked here? sorry if i forgot! anyways:

Your feelings are SO normal. I could have written your poster, more or less just like that for about a year ago. Therapy is (and are suppose) to be kind of "obsessive" in that sense, that its become essensial and important to us. That means also, in some cases, to be very interested in our T`s private life. (often in a very ambivalent way though..some people- me included- are both scared of knowing things about T, and sometimes totally obsessed by knowing more..)...those feelings you have- wanting to know more about your T- is a very natural part of attaching to your T. i am tempted to say that you are now officially explooring transeference- intensity Just guessing here. You seem to be able to reflect about whats going on, and yet seeking an snswer to why this is so intens... I am sure other here are more able than me to explain you about transeference, but thats my gut answer that you are experiencing that right now. Please know, its not weird or dangerous or wrong any other things. Indeed it can feels scary and overwhemning and "crazy" but it aint wrong. Not at all.

Have you talked to your T about any of these feelings? Can you tell her you are interested in her private life- yet dont dare to ask?

...your T wont probably share so much about herself- (depends what kind of shrink she is though..but if she`s psychotherpist, its uncommon to share personal stuff with the patient) but she will adress WHY you are interested and help you exploore that wish/need...
I will encourrage you to talk to her about this, those conversations can be so fruitful and lead into good "deep" stuff...

..to your question about your pattern-i have no idea, but i am sure other (wiser) people here on forum, might have an idea.. i tend to have the opposite reaction myself..

keep posting if you want to! Its a interesting topic! And you are SO NOT ALONE! i`ll bet most of us patients here can relate to your feelings.. also about the googling-stuff. yep, that makes me feel creepy too, when i google my T...(btw its another thread here about "stalking" your T, maybe that would be helpful checking out?)

Thanks Frog for your reply. I have no idea how I would tell T. about these feelings, and if I even should. I have about a million other things to discuss in our sessions and I don't even know if this is important... I just feel bad about it. I am glad to hear that you have been through similar things, and I did read the "stalking" thread, so it sounds like others have experienced it too. So.. does wanting to know a lot about your therapist mean that you have transference? What exactly is transference? Also.. for those of you who were/are in a similar place and spend time googling your t.- did you tell them or keep it to yourself?

Hi Quilter,
We've had a number of discussions about googling on the forum (a favored activity by many of us ) and I include some links to couple down below. One is to a massive thread Update on Transference which in turn, at the end links to the topic Transference II. I know that it's an awful lot but there are tons of good discussions on the topic there. Hope this helps.

Ugh ... I've done it again...

Update on Transference

Struggling with Boundaries in Therapy

This is a post I wrote defining transference when another member asked about it.
Newbie in Town

AG