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So many folks are so creative with their names, mine kinda seems, well, bland. When I was registering, I went to put in my usual name, the one I use for the rest of the internet, before I came to my senses 
So, I deleted everything except the Z.
I picked the avatar because, as far as I could tell, no one else was using it and it looked peaceful and graceful, things I like to think I am. (though I know better)
I have been meaning to change to a custom avatar, but I haven't decided what I want it to be yet
So, I deleted everything except the Z.I picked the avatar because, as far as I could tell, no one else was using it and it looked peaceful and graceful, things I like to think I am. (though I know better)
I have been meaning to change to a custom avatar, but I haven't decided what I want it to be yet
Haha, mine's pretty unoriginal. I just combined the first letter of my first name and my middle name. It looks kinda weird, though. Oh well!
Oh, and my avatar is just some flower that I like...that's quite unoriginal, too.
Oh, and my avatar is just some flower that I like...that's quite unoriginal, too.
Cool question, BB! I picked my name because I joined here not that long after my T picked up on the fact that we were dealing with an attachment injury. I had never heard about attachment theory before and when I started learning about it, it really changed my attitude about healing and gave me so much hope. So I wanted it to be part of my name. (The girl part was about trying to hide how ancient I am. 
) I picked my avatar because I'm such a chatterbox and it seems to fit. 
Now that we can do custom avatars (you couldn't when I joined) I keep thinking about changing it, but I must admit that I've become quite fond of it so I may just leave it alone.
AG
) I picked my avatar because I'm such a chatterbox and it seems to fit. Now that we can do custom avatars (you couldn't when I joined) I keep thinking about changing it, but I must admit that I've become quite fond of it so I may just leave it alone.AG
AG... I think you are ATTACHED to your Avatar!
As for me.. I picked True North because that is what my T is for me. He is my fixed point in a spinning world, my point of reference when things get chaotic. He is Polaris, always there to help me find my true direction in life. I've sort of told him this in a poem once... not sure if he remembers.
As for my Avatar...well for awhile I didn't have one because I didn't know which one to choose (we had a limited selection back then) and then one day I finally found enough courage to offer my hand to my T (we had never had any kind of touch at all for a year) and when he accepted my hand with warmth and understanding, well it was a pivotal moment for me, one that I'll always remember and treasure.
So that's my story.
TN
As for me.. I picked True North because that is what my T is for me. He is my fixed point in a spinning world, my point of reference when things get chaotic. He is Polaris, always there to help me find my true direction in life. I've sort of told him this in a poem once... not sure if he remembers.
As for my Avatar...well for awhile I didn't have one because I didn't know which one to choose (we had a limited selection back then) and then one day I finally found enough courage to offer my hand to my T (we had never had any kind of touch at all for a year) and when he accepted my hand with warmth and understanding, well it was a pivotal moment for me, one that I'll always remember and treasure.
So that's my story.
TN
I chose my name because I'm fond of the story of Echo, the chatterbox nymph who finds herself unable to speak directly to the one she loves, Narcissus.
My name is from the title of a song by a group called Switchfoot. Switchfoot is a surfing term that means basically doing a complete switch with your feet while on your surfboard so that you are now facing a new direction having turned your back on the old direction you were facing before. The song became really meaningful to me when I began my therapy journey and really wanted something more out of life than what I was getting at the time:
When I wake in the morning I want to blow into pieces,
I want more than just OK, more than just OK.
When I'm up with the sunrise I want more than just the blue skies,
I want more than just OK, more than just OK.
When I'm wet with the sunshine I want more than just a good time,
I want more than just OK, more than just OK.
More than fine, more than bent on getting by.
More than fine, more than just OK.
More than oceans away from the dawn.
More than oceans away from who we are.
More than oceans, more than oceans.
More than fine.
I picked the Eiffel tower as my avatar because my dream since the age of 15 has been to travel to France. My passion since that time has been the French language, a passion that was planted within me by a wonderful teacher that inspired me to work at improving my talent with the language and gave me a love of the country and the culture as well. I hope I can realize my dream some day!
Thanks for asking, BB. It's always interesting to know these things about people.
MTF
When I wake in the morning I want to blow into pieces,
I want more than just OK, more than just OK.
When I'm up with the sunrise I want more than just the blue skies,
I want more than just OK, more than just OK.
When I'm wet with the sunshine I want more than just a good time,
I want more than just OK, more than just OK.
More than fine, more than bent on getting by.
More than fine, more than just OK.
More than oceans away from the dawn.
More than oceans away from who we are.
More than oceans, more than oceans.
More than fine.
I picked the Eiffel tower as my avatar because my dream since the age of 15 has been to travel to France. My passion since that time has been the French language, a passion that was planted within me by a wonderful teacher that inspired me to work at improving my talent with the language and gave me a love of the country and the culture as well. I hope I can realize my dream some day!
Thanks for asking, BB. It's always interesting to know these things about people.
MTF
Hi Echo... have you ever heard the song "Looking for an Echo"? It's from a movie of the same name.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EB8hqkiPJM
TN
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EB8hqkiPJM
TN
I love the song Halo by Beyonce and when I was seeing old P on a weekly basis I always felt better when I was near him and really wanted to stand in the light of his halo.
Now....I am no longer seeing him for therapy and I can see the immense damage that he has done to me and I think differently about him and I do not think he has a halo for me to stand under.
I think he has told his wife who I am and things about my therapy (we have kids at the same school).
I do think my new P is a shining light for me now and the feelings are very different, I feel emotionally supported and know that he is straightforward and upfront and has very tight boundaries and is not going to play any games or "test" me in any way. I feel very safe with him and am beginning to think that I will be able to trust him.
Now....I am no longer seeing him for therapy and I can see the immense damage that he has done to me and I think differently about him and I do not think he has a halo for me to stand under.
I think he has told his wife who I am and things about my therapy (we have kids at the same school).
I do think my new P is a shining light for me now and the feelings are very different, I feel emotionally supported and know that he is straightforward and upfront and has very tight boundaries and is not going to play any games or "test" me in any way. I feel very safe with him and am beginning to think that I will be able to trust him.
Sometime at the beggining of my therapy (a year ago) I found a book of a Jungian analyst "The wounded woman. healing the father-daughter relationship". She's looking at a lot of symbols, myths, fairy tales, even contemporary cinema. She focuses on two roles/patterns that women live : puella aeterna - eternal girl and armored Amazon. I thought I was the eternal girl type, but when I told my T about this book, he said that I'm rather armored Amazon. So I chose Amazon. I always wanted to be the warrior type to defend myself.
Hi Halo, I absolutely love that song by Beyonce and it reminds me of my T too. Especially the first six lines and then when she vows, "I'm never gonna shut you out". After listening to that song for awhile and progressing through therapy I came to the conclusion that I don't ever want to shut my T out of what is going on in my mind and I've pretty much stuck to it. I have even told him that I promised myself not to shut him out and he said that he's impressed at how well I've kept that promise. I guess I just decided for myself that if he does not know what I'm thinking or how I'm feeling then he can't help me. It has really made a difference for me. On the other hand I can see where giving them a "Halo" would be idealizing them too much and I don't do that any longer. I'm quite aware of my T's human frailties and can accept a more realistic view of him. Still adore him though
TN
TN
This is an awesome thread, Blackbird...It's amazing the stories behind all of the names and how much just one or two words pertains to everyone's lives.
And something funny...I haven't listened to "Halo" in a long time, but I have it playing now! I've always liked that song. Reading about that, and about how MTF's name is based off of a song, makes me curious as to what people's favorite songs are and why.
And something funny...I haven't listened to "Halo" in a long time, but I have it playing now!
I've always liked that song. Reading about that, and about how MTF's name is based off of a song, makes me curious as to what people's favorite songs are and why.
Okay, I'll play!
I chose Jones when I was in a phase of feeling really obsessive about therapy (umm, yeah - so, more than now...) and making it through each week was like 'jonesing' for another fix. Made me smile that I found an old thread after that where AG used that expression to describe that feeling. Also I liked it because it has a kind of pseudonym feel to it. The character in the avatar looks to me to be curious, and perplexed, and kind of scrutinizing and a bit critical, or maybe even beseeching or a bit wistful or defiant, and perplexing too (what is that head-dress thing, exactly?) all of which I relate to!
Jones
I chose Jones when I was in a phase of feeling really obsessive about therapy (umm, yeah - so, more than now...) and making it through each week was like 'jonesing' for another fix. Made me smile that I found an old thread after that where AG used that expression to describe that feeling. Also I liked it because it has a kind of pseudonym feel to it. The character in the avatar looks to me to be curious, and perplexed, and kind of scrutinizing and a bit critical, or maybe even beseeching or a bit wistful or defiant, and perplexing too (what is that head-dress thing, exactly?) all of which I relate to!
Jones
Hi Kashley,
I don't want to discourage anyone posting about music here, but since you asked I thought you might be interested in a couple of old threads on the subject (I've found some great new artists through people here!).
Therapy Song for a Monday Morning
Music Lists
I'm actually working on creating a custom CD (set, I've spilled over into two disks) of music for my T as a goodbye gift. I must admit it's turning out to be a rather strange, eclectic list covering a LOT of topics. Kind of like my therapy. But I will say that right now my theme song is "And I am telling you I'm not going" from Dream Girls (it's the first song on the CD. )
Echo,
I LOVE hearing all the meanings, but yours ROCKED. I love all the meanings tied up in it. Awesome choice.
Jones,
I love it!! "jonesing" is definitely one of my favorite words, it just captures an aspect of that deep down addictive longing. I had always just assumed that you used Jones for the pseudonym feel as you said. Now I'm glad I used the word!
AG
I don't want to discourage anyone posting about music here, but since you asked I thought you might be interested in a couple of old threads on the subject (I've found some great new artists through people here!).
Therapy Song for a Monday Morning
Music Lists
I'm actually working on creating a custom CD (set, I've spilled over into two disks) of music for my T as a goodbye gift. I must admit it's turning out to be a rather strange, eclectic list covering a LOT of topics. Kind of like my therapy.
But I will say that right now my theme song is "And I am telling you I'm not going" from Dream Girls (it's the first song on the CD. ) Echo,
I LOVE hearing all the meanings, but yours ROCKED. I love all the meanings tied up in it. Awesome choice.
Jones,
I love it!! "jonesing" is definitely one of my favorite words, it just captures an aspect of that deep down addictive longing. I had always just assumed that you used Jones for the pseudonym feel as you said. Now I'm glad I used the word!
AG
I chose starfish as I was thinking of something that would instantly remind me of happy times. I vividly remember hot summer beach holidays as a child, collecting shells and seaweed in buckets and seeing the occasional starfish washed up on the shore and thinking they were amazing creatures. Taking them back home and keepng them safely stored in a special box. Can go back in my mind there really quickly, not sure why.
Also links with the protective armour that hides a very soft inside. . . (don't worry BB no more 'starfish insides' facts for now )
Oh and the Avatar - just cos I love the expression on the child's face and some link in my mind to the Far East.
starfish
Also links with the protective armour that hides a very soft inside. . . (don't worry BB no more 'starfish insides' facts for now
)Oh and the Avatar - just cos I love the expression on the child's face and some link in my mind to the Far East.
starfish
Starfish, the child's hat in your avatar reminds me of this:
http://www.dolina.org/costumes...wiak/krakowiak01.jpg
http://www.dolina.org/costumes...wiak/krakowiak01.jpg
I like this topic. I'll play too. 
I chose Mad Hatter because I am sort of mad (in more ways than one)! And I feel stuck in time, sort of like how in Alice and Wonderland, the Mad Hatter is forever stuck at 6:00 for his attempted "murder" of Time. I also think it is interesting --although I only thought of it recently-- that at the Tea Party the Mad Hatter is constantly switching places at the table and can't stay in one spot, because I do that musical chairs thing with my T in therapy. In fact, last Monday I sat on the floor, and my T followed suit (mirroring me, I guess?).
I recently changed my avatar from that lady glaring beneath her tall, strange hat. Although I probably have more physical resemblance to the first one, I just like Johnny Depp.
I chose Mad Hatter because I am sort of mad (in more ways than one)! And I feel stuck in time, sort of like how in Alice and Wonderland, the Mad Hatter is forever stuck at 6:00 for his attempted "murder" of Time. I also think it is interesting --although I only thought of it recently-- that at the Tea Party the Mad Hatter is constantly switching places at the table and can't stay in one spot, because I do that musical chairs thing with my T in therapy. In fact, last Monday I sat on the floor, and my T followed suit (mirroring me, I guess?).
I recently changed my avatar from that lady glaring beneath her tall, strange hat. Although I probably have more physical resemblance to the first one, I just like Johnny Depp.
My name comes from John le Carre’s Smiley novels, where lamplighters are intelligence gathering/disseminating spies who prepare the way for others, figuratively ‘lighting the way’. So my sense was that I was setting out to light the way into the blackness of my mind. Boy could I do with some of that light right now
Mine is me. The child that holds so many of the memories I have forgotten. Helle used to be my nickname.
Mine's not very creative at all. Some people spell my name ending in a Y (Debby) and other spell it ending in IE (Debbie) so for here I picked YE either to please everyone or confuse everyone, depending on my mood! (FYI it's really IE.)
Pippi is the nickname that I was given by one of my favorite aunts after I got adopted by my adoptive family. It has continued being my nickname from that time on and I was adopted when I was 2. Even my nieces and nephews call me "aunt pippi" and I love hearing it because I am the favorite aunt to all 8 of them so whatever they call me would be my favorite name. And the avater came from the story my psychiatrist told me that symbolizes our therapy relationship and it makes me think of him and feel better during the difficult times of therapy.
I don't post much but I don't think I have to explain my name. I don't have an avatar cause I have not taken the time to figure out how to do it. Heck, I just recently discovered that the little picture by the name is called an avatar. I am slow!
Hi Tues@11,
I really like that, and wish I had thought of it. If I did, I would be Monday@5.
I really like that, and wish I had thought of it. If I did, I would be Monday@5.
I love this thread! sorry I haven't contributed yet (or on any other post lately) as my husband's grandmother passed away last week and we've been out of town.
I think my name is kinda obvious- I have had transferencial feelings (maternally and erotically) for numerous older women since entering jr. high. At the time I started writing here, i was just beginning to see how "chronic" my patterns were and that this obsession for maternal figures had some sort of name or psychological origin (transference)... plus, it was the best I could come up with.
As for the avatar, some day I'll use a custom one, but I chose this one because... well, I liked it . it's not too cheery or colorful... kinda mellow like me (on a good day!).
Anyway, I liked reading about everyone. thanks all for sharing!
-CT
I think my name is kinda obvious- I have had transferencial feelings (maternally and erotically) for numerous older women since entering jr. high. At the time I started writing here, i was just beginning to see how "chronic" my patterns were and that this obsession for maternal figures had some sort of name or psychological origin (transference)... plus, it was the best I could come up with.
As for the avatar, some day I'll use a custom one, but I chose this one because... well, I liked it
. it's not too cheery or colorful... kinda mellow like me (on a good day!).Anyway, I liked reading about everyone. thanks all for sharing!
-CT
This thread is great. Thanks everyone for explaining your names! There were so many where I would always wonder why you picked that name. So now I know, and know a little more about you as well.
I picked strummergirl because I started playing guitar shortly before I started seeking therapy. Actually, playing guitar WAS my first "therapy". I had started teaching myself some basic chords because my then 7 year-old daughter wanted to learn. She didn't continue with it (at least not yet) but I found that the practicing helped to center me in a way that felt really good...very "therapeutic". So I bought a "grown-up" guitar and kept going.
Unfortunately it has fallen by the wayside...I'm not sure why...I haven't taken my guitar out of its case in a few months. Probably because it reminds me of my former T, as I saw it as a special connection we had, even though he was an expert player and I was just a beginner. We would frequently talk guitar at the beginning and/or ending of sessions and I liked that. I hope the association fades eventually so I can play again. I miss it.
I was very jazzed about the custom avatar thing and got one as soon as I could figure out how to do it. I really like this picture because it's a little girl just losing herself in having fun. It's a good representation of how I'd like to feel more often. And if I squint I can even imagine that's me because I have dark hair too.
But she's got a WAY cooler guitar.
SG
I picked strummergirl because I started playing guitar shortly before I started seeking therapy. Actually, playing guitar WAS my first "therapy". I had started teaching myself some basic chords because my then 7 year-old daughter wanted to learn. She didn't continue with it (at least not yet) but I found that the practicing helped to center me in a way that felt really good...very "therapeutic". So I bought a "grown-up" guitar and kept going.
Unfortunately it has fallen by the wayside...I'm not sure why...I haven't taken my guitar out of its case in a few months. Probably because it reminds me of my former T, as I saw it as a special connection we had, even though he was an expert player and I was just a beginner. We would frequently talk guitar at the beginning and/or ending of sessions and I liked that. I hope the association fades eventually so I can play again. I miss it.
I was very jazzed about the custom avatar thing and got one as soon as I could figure out how to do it. I really like this picture because it's a little girl just losing herself in having fun. It's a good representation of how I'd like to feel more often. And if I squint I can even imagine that's me because I have dark hair too.
But she's got a WAY cooler guitar.
SG
Hi Monte-
Nice thought.
My picture is me, although after reading comments I am seriously considering putting up the avatar. I just don't remember how to change it.
Have a great Easter everyone!
Nice thought.
My picture is me, although after reading comments I am seriously considering putting up the avatar. I just don't remember how to change it.
Have a great Easter everyone!
quote:And I get a kick out of imagining us all meeting somewhere in real time and wondering what it would be like, matching faces to names etc.
That's funny, Monte - I've imagined that, too.
I've decided to Capitalize. I don't know why.
By the way, Halo...nice "halo"!!
By the way, Halo...nice "halo"!!
Just checking if I changed my avatar. Was beginning to feel uncomfortable with the real me pic. Same name though.
It's so hard, isn't it, to know exactly how to walk the line on the privacy stuff. Sorry you had to change your pic, Helle - I liked that it was you, but I like the new one too. I WANT to be able to be fully myself here, but I know too that keeping myself relatively unidentifiable allows me to express myself safely in ways I couldn't otherwise. I wish it weren't so.
I am going through a rough time with my T because of Spiritual stuff. Hopefully eventually I will post about it- but I will change my name as well before I do. I seriously doubt he would go on this site- but he does know about it. He gave me the nick name Helle, as it was one I had as a child-and he called me that. If I split from him - I change my name too.
... and no he did not do anything wrong.
Helle, if you split from him...
do you have to?
Well, tell us when you're ready... Take care...
do you have to?
Well, tell us when you're ready... Take care...
Hi Amazon,
I pushed him to far on something concerning spiritual matters. I triggered him and he was angry with me, and I feel the relationship was damaged beyond repair, but I don't know yet. It's complicated, and I don't know if I should go back. No one did anything wrong in the ethical sense though. Things will be different, and I can not bear him not being real with me. I am so off the topic of names. I will post when I can do it. After tomorrow I will be away until Friday night.
Maybe I will post a new thread.
I pushed him to far on something concerning spiritual matters. I triggered him and he was angry with me, and I feel the relationship was damaged beyond repair, but I don't know yet. It's complicated, and I don't know if I should go back. No one did anything wrong in the ethical sense though. Things will be different, and I can not bear him not being real with me. I am so off the topic of names. I will post when I can do it. After tomorrow I will be away until Friday night.
Maybe I will post a new thread.
Thanks for your wonderful and valuable support.
Blackbird- my therapy is immersed in spiritual discussions- he welcomes them. But that is the problem. I am not meaning to be cryptic, but I'm just not ready to share quite yet. It is important for all to know that he did nothing wrong, and really neither did I. It is just ... I think I am spoiled by such a good relationship- he is like my bestest friend in the world, and with this breech it feels like I have lost someone so dear to me because I pushed too hard, and I don't know what to do. I don't yet know about mending relationships- I always walk away from them.
Monte- thanks for that. It makes me feel like maybe it is not the end of the world. I just want things to be the way they were- comfortable and nice.
Excellent point Jones. I chose this picture because I am still seeing the little girl- but I am not alone, someone is holding my hand. It may sound silly or stupid, but sometimes I think of you guys holding my hand- with the support here.
Blackbird- my therapy is immersed in spiritual discussions- he welcomes them. But that is the problem. I am not meaning to be cryptic, but I'm just not ready to share quite yet. It is important for all to know that he did nothing wrong, and really neither did I. It is just ... I think I am spoiled by such a good relationship- he is like my bestest friend in the world, and with this breech it feels like I have lost someone so dear to me because I pushed too hard, and I don't know what to do. I don't yet know about mending relationships- I always walk away from them.
quote:I guess we trigger them too, maybe more frequently than we realise, only on most occasions they can put it aside.
Monte- thanks for that. It makes me feel like maybe it is not the end of the world. I just want things to be the way they were- comfortable and nice.
quote:I WANT to be able to be fully myself here, but I know too that keeping myself relatively unidentifiable allows me to express myself safely in ways I couldn't otherwise.
Excellent point Jones. I chose this picture because I am still seeing the little girl- but I am not alone, someone is holding my hand. It may sound silly or stupid, but sometimes I think of you guys holding my hand- with the support here.
Oh Helle -
Your comment there -
That's not silly or stupid, just beautiful. I'm going to use that image of having my hand held by this support for myself too. I'm so glad you shared it.
J
Your comment there -
just made me go all teary!quote:It may sound silly or stupid, but sometimes I think of you guys holding my hand- with the support here.
That's not silly or stupid, just beautiful. I'm going to use that image of having my hand held by this support for myself too. I'm so glad you shared it.
J
Interesting - I chose Smiley because I always smile. No matter what's going on when I come into contact with people all they ever see is a smile. It is my cover I guess - always happy.
When I think of feeling calm & safe, I think of the beach - turquoise water and white sand and looking out to see only the sea. My latest fav color is that turquoise sea color - it feels calming and pure and safe to me.
quote:Originally posted by smiley:
Interesting - I chose Smiley because I always smile. No matter what's going on when I come into contact with people all they ever see is a smile. It is my cover I guess - always happy.
Hi Smiley,
I, as well as several other people, discussed our smiling to cover up things in this thread: Therapists' Body Language. Just thought you might want to check it out.
OK I'm the only one who doesn't know how to get an avatar. Help? (But then, considering my "name", maybe I shouldn't have a pic anyway. lol.)