I am also afraid of mine even though she has not done anything. So for what it is worth, I do understand what it is to be afraid of them. I actually have been seeing two ts for the last month, one is the one I am oddly attached to in terms of being both afraid and wanting to trust her, and one, who is probably the better of the two, but I have no feelings of attachment to her at all. I do not know if this helps at all, just letting you know I don't think you are alone

Welcome remember. Have you tried to talk to your T about your fear of her? I think this is very normal for someone who has had trauma in their past. The first step in any therapeutic relationship is the establishment of trust and safety. This usually takes a long time and you will test your T over and over again. This is where consistency and good boundaries are so very important.

Can you tell us a little more about why she is scary to you?

TN

lets see.... the fear is irrational but it feels like being vulnerable will destroy me. Its the same fear of when i was little. I loved my mom soooo much and wanted to be near her but I felt completely alone. My mom was unpredictable and a bit dangerous. I wanted to connect with my mom in the worst way but she was sooooo scary to me. Anyways it didn't start out that way but now I have this irrational fear attached with past trauma on my T. She knows all about this problem and wants me to decide if we continue or not. I did emdr with her a few times and I got lost in the abyss with no peace or resolution. Thank God my safe place held solid. So I think I lost a little faith and trust in her when I would get stuck in the terribleness with out making it beyond the great beyond. so thats what Im pondering. I dont want to give up too early with this T if healing may come but I dont want to just relive my old traumas!!!!!???????HMMMM

Hi Remember,
Glad you were able to actually post!

What you're experiencing is very familiar to a lot of us here. You're experiencing feelings with your T so similar to your mother because you are moving closer to your T and it's invoking what if feels like when you move closer to someone, the deep fear that you don't know what you'll get and that sometimes you got really hurt. I've written about this alot so I'm going to provide several links to old posts about it below. The last link is to a VERY long thread on transference that discusses a whole lot of people's feelings like this in therapy. I think you might find it helpful. Feel free to ask more questions, I just thought this would provide a good place to start. And FWIW, although it is confusing and painful to have such intense feelings about your T, this also provides the opportunity to work through these fears in a safe relationship where it's ok to talk about and examine what is happening. I know it doesn't feel like a good thing, but I think it is.

identity formation/separation issues

Codependency/displacing emotions

Does anyone else sabotage themselves

I think I'm stuck

Update on Transference

AG