Hi Echo,
Here is a link to the thread where I described how to get an avatar one other time:
Avatar
Good luck!
SG
Yes thank you Strummergirl,
Your directions for the avatar on the thread were for me, and they worked just fine.
Your directions for the avatar on the thread were for me, and they worked just fine.
Hey Kashley thanks - I did check it out and it was interesting. I too was in a group and got the same response about smiling. It upset me alot because I always thought that if you smiled and were friendly and nice, people would like you. I felt like they were ganging up on me too. I actually left and went outside. My therapist at the time was running the group so it was a little easier because I got to talked to her about it.
Smiling for me has always been a way to get accepted, loved, etc. It has also been a way for me to build a "nice" wall around myself to not let anyone get too close.
Sometimes I just want to slap myself to snap out of a smile - my face hurts!LOL But I can't because if you smile, no one asks what's wrong? No one will bother you, and no one will hurt you.
smiley
Smiling for me has always been a way to get accepted, loved, etc. It has also been a way for me to build a "nice" wall around myself to not let anyone get too close.
Sometimes I just want to slap myself to snap out of a smile - my face hurts!LOL But I can't because if you smile, no one asks what's wrong? No one will bother you, and no one will hurt you.
smiley
The reason behind my name is a downer, so I'll apologize in advance for that. My first love/soulmate took his life a few months ago, and I felt our personalities were pretty complex, a collection of puzzle pieces that fit together just right.
Now I feel like a pile of discarded pieces on the floor, and whenever someone comes by and tries to put them back together, obviously they can't, since only half the pieces are there. So I'm what's left of him.
And the eye---represents both my need to feel watched over and my inability to maintain eye contact with my T.
I really needed to share that, so thanks for listening/reading.
Now I feel like a pile of discarded pieces on the floor, and whenever someone comes by and tries to put them back together, obviously they can't, since only half the pieces are there. So I'm what's left of him.
And the eye---represents both my need to feel watched over and my inability to maintain eye contact with my T.
I really needed to share that, so thanks for listening/reading.
Welcome to the forums, WhatsLeftofHim! I'm looking forward to getting to know you.
Thank you for explaining the eye avatar. Eye contact is a hot topic for many of us (and also has its own thread, here is a link to it if you haven't found it already
). In fact, I have to admit, I get that strange, nervous feeling of wanting to be seen and not seen at the same time, when your avatar is on the screen. I keep sneaking a look at it to see how long I can look before I can't bear it anymore and have to look away. But don't change it! Maybe it's good practice for sessions. 
Thank you for explaining the meaning behind your name. I'm terribly sorry to hear of your loss. It is rare (for me, anyway) to meet someone with whom we connect on a deep enough level to call them our soulmate, so losing him must be devastating to you on so many levels. And then the way you lost him is a trauma of its own. I very much hope you can find some support and healing here, and also in your therapy.
Take care,
SG
Thank you for explaining the eye avatar. Eye contact is a hot topic for many of us (and also has its own thread, here is a link to it if you haven't found it already
). In fact, I have to admit, I get that strange, nervous feeling of wanting to be seen and not seen at the same time, when your avatar is on the screen. I keep sneaking a look at it to see how long I can look before I can't bear it anymore and have to look away. But don't change it! Maybe it's good practice for sessions. Thank you for explaining the meaning behind your name. I'm terribly sorry to hear of your loss. It is rare (for me, anyway) to meet someone with whom we connect on a deep enough level to call them our soulmate, so losing him must be devastating to you on so many levels. And then the way you lost him is a trauma of its own. I very much hope you can find some support and healing here, and also in your therapy.
Take care,
SG
Hi WLOH,
Welcome to the boards. I lost a close friend to suicide a few years ago. I know others on here have been hurt by suicide too. It is a very particular and dreadful hurt. I'm so sorry. Glad you came here as part of your journey.
Oh and I love what you say about that need to feel watched over. I have that need too, really strongly. To me it is the difference between being able to function in my life or not. I'd love to hear more about how it is for you.
Jones
Welcome to the boards. I lost a close friend to suicide a few years ago. I know others on here have been hurt by suicide too. It is a very particular and dreadful hurt. I'm so sorry. Glad you came here as part of your journey.
Oh and I love what you say about that need to feel watched over. I have that need too, really strongly. To me it is the difference between being able to function in my life or not. I'd love to hear more about how it is for you.
Jones