Today my P opened the door on the csa and now I am home and can't stop crying and stressing. I am so stressed, I feel like it was my fault and I should have stopped it and I don't know how to handle any of this.
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Dear Halo,
I'm so sorry you have been so thrown by your T raising the CSA stuff. The CSA was not your fault. Not at all. You were just a kid, and would have been very confused. You may not have known how to stop it or even what was the right thing to do. CSA is never, ever the kid's fault, because it is always the adult's job to hold the right boundaries.
I agree with DF that if you can talk to your P to help you through some of these feelings it would be worth it. You shouldn't have to go through this alone.
Take care, Halo.
Jones
I'm so sorry you have been so thrown by your T raising the CSA stuff. The CSA was not your fault. Not at all. You were just a kid, and would have been very confused. You may not have known how to stop it or even what was the right thing to do. CSA is never, ever the kid's fault, because it is always the adult's job to hold the right boundaries.
I agree with DF that if you can talk to your P to help you through some of these feelings it would be worth it. You shouldn't have to go through this alone.
Take care, Halo.
Jones
(((Halo)))
I completely agree with everything that has been said. It was definitely not your fault and I'm sorry that you are struggling so much after your session. Be very gentle with yourself and take it easy. It's a tough process for sure. We are all here to listen if you need to talk.
I completely agree with everything that has been said. It was definitely not your fault and I'm sorry that you are struggling so much after your session. Be very gentle with yourself and take it easy. It's a tough process for sure. We are all here to listen if you need to talk.
((((Halo)))))
Opening up that can of worms can be so terrifying. You are not alone though.
I, too, have felt that I should have stopped csa, but I know that as an adult now, I would never ever hold a child responsible for not stopping any csa that they incurred. Sometimes it helps to look at pictures of myself at that age. I look at those pictures and think to myself that I cannot possibly hold that child responsible for not stopping it. she was so young. Just a child. And she should not have to carry this burden.
Please be kind to yourself and be kind to that inner child.
Opening up that can of worms can be so terrifying. You are not alone though.
I, too, have felt that I should have stopped csa, but I know that as an adult now, I would never ever hold a child responsible for not stopping any csa that they incurred. Sometimes it helps to look at pictures of myself at that age. I look at those pictures and think to myself that I cannot possibly hold that child responsible for not stopping it. she was so young. Just a child. And she should not have to carry this burden.
Please be kind to yourself and be kind to that inner child.
(((Halo)))
I'm sorry for the pain you are in. I think there is no part of CSA that isn't painful and confusing.
Di
I'm sorry for the pain you are in. I think there is no part of CSA that isn't painful and confusing.
Di
Halo,
All the answers in Incognito's thread It's my fault are for you too. As a matter of fact, I would bet a lot of money that if you read Incognito's thread, you would see clearly it wasn't her fault. As she can see it's not yours. We only feel guilt because we are so clouded by what we learned to believe when trying to make sense of an intolerable situation. Read the thread, those responses are for you also.
(((Halo))))
AG
All the answers in Incognito's thread It's my fault are for you too. As a matter of fact, I would bet a lot of money that if you read Incognito's thread, you would see clearly it wasn't her fault. As she can see it's not yours. We only feel guilt because we are so clouded by what we learned to believe when trying to make sense of an intolerable situation. Read the thread, those responses are for you also.
(((Halo))))
AG
Thank you all for your replies. I did ring my P last night and he was very comforting. I also read Incognito's thread and that helped a lot too. I feel so sad and depressed right now, with old P he would drag all of this out into the open and then just leave it there and I didn't know how to cope with it. I am hoping new P will know what to do because I sure don't.