quote:

native american sounding

no offense. i thot the same. you too? wow.

Geez - I am feeling terrible-bad for having posted this. Like I've just exposed myself as being truly crazy. No offense intended, Draggers, just how I feel.

Maybe it is something infantile, like how babies babble.

Some people with certain religious histories, particularly if associated with trauma may have these as sometimes there is chanting.

It reads like stuff I hear on yoga... Which to me just sounds like whatever and I'll hum.

Not sure what it may be about. Maybe you feel like T doesn't understand you or you have something to say that you don't know how.

You could always go super natural and interpret it as tongues or religious text or ancient past life words, or some sort of spell. That could be fun to roll with, too.

Dreams are weird. My T or myself will do things that are situational gibberish... Like I once had a session in my house filled with water and this floating pedestal and my Ts there one was too tall and there were animals and yea just gibberish.

It's like the words having meaning. There is intonation, emphasis, pause - both in my head and when speaking. I know I am trying hard to communicate, but I don't know what the words mean. Except no. Sometimes I am saying no.

Something I am saying that I don't know how? Maybe.

Baby babble? Maybe toddler.

Religious history? I was in a cult-like religion with a lot brainwashing, but we didn't chant. Just endless recitations.

This has happened before. Not necessarily the same words, but babble. I remember it starting when I was a teenager.

Hopefully your T can help. It's hard to suspend my personal belief that it's much more than just babbling. If you have a feeling about it, it has definite value in your therapy - sometimes there is no 'story' (explanation, history) to go with the things we do. I get that sort of perspective from somatic work. I hope you can figure out the personal meaning.

(((((RED)))))

quote:

It's like the words having meaning. There is intonation, emphasis, pause - both in my head and when speaking. I know I am trying hard to communicate, but I don't know what the words mean. Except no. Sometimes I am saying no.

Something I am saying that I don't know how? Maybe.

Baby babble? Maybe toddler.

Red, the above just really speaks to me. I don't know a lot about you but I'm wondering if you feel, IRL, able to say no to people. If that is something you struggle with. Maybe no one listened to you when you told them no and/or told them you didn't know how to do something. It could be your subconscious trying to form those words but being terrified to make them clear and concise. Just throwing that out there.

(((DRAGGERS))))

quote:

nay and neeha

Horse language?

((((RED))))

Do you have any recollection of what was going on in the dream before you started talking?

I wasn't talking in the dream. I dreamt. I woke up. The words started.

I thought the words would go away, but they haven't. I thot them all afternoon as I did yard work. One word kept going thru my mind: naysayla. Just over and over. Writing it down and looking at it, I think it says, "don't say that." Then later, naysayque. "Don't say what?"

This is really kind of freaking me out.

Thanks for your ideas, Liese. You too, cat.

-RT

Hey Red,

I didn't think you were crazy. My first thought when I read it was tongues, too, but that just gives a label and doesn't really explain anything, does it? I've been around people who spoke in tongues in several churches in my youth. Some of it sounded a little like that. I'm not really sure what I think about it all now, though.

(((hug))) I am sorry you are freaked out. Wish I had something more useful to say. Keep writing here if it helps?

This made me think of the way twin babies/toddlers sometimes develop their own language. It's called autonomous language/idioglossia. Any chance you could have done that as a little one?

I don't think it's tongues, HIC. I think it's my own language. Or maybe not a language, but a response to what is going on. I thot once that I was having a psychotic break because I started babbling. But maybe not. A reaction to extreme stress.

T seems to think it is my little me. I had texted her some of this, but some of my words were very little. T text back and asked "who is this?" She kept wanting to text with Big RT, but I couldn't find her. I couldn't make any Big words come out. I tried, but there weren't any. It was either these strange words or a dialect that Little RT uses.

This all seems so absurd. Where does this come from?

-RT

No, Jones, don't think I did that as a little one. I did think about that too. A language for parts of me? I think it is induced. But from where?

Words are still coming and then I look to find a meaning. These seem obvious. But I am definitely thinking the word before the meaning. Consciously, at any rate. It seems the Little has her own things to say.

Yaysay cahlawanna.

I say yes, I want a call. (from T?)

Naysayla wannaque.

Don't say what you (me, Little) want.

quote:

I don't think it's tongues, HIC. I think it's my own language. Or maybe not a language, but a response to what is going on.

Yeah, and I guess I was thinking-- maybe that's what they call tongues actually is too. If it's the same kind of thing. Idk.

"I think it's my own language".

I'll go along with that, and I don't think there's anything wrong with it. It's probably some kind of coping mechanism for something. I've actually done the same kind of thing, but did not know what any of it meant. It sounds like you at least know how to interpret what it means, or at least some of it.

As always, there is comfort in knowing other people do the same kinds of things (((RT))) and (((draggers)))

(((RED)))

I meant what was the dream about before you woke up and starting saying the words?

It sounds like one of those things that only you have the key to.

girl wakes up speaking german

sleep talking (foreign language)

RT,

I don't know what it all means, but it sounds like you have some good ideas. And what fascinating contributions from everyone.

I think your words have a compelling charm and an unusual beauty, like witnessing an unfamiliar ceremony through trees and mist in a remote corner of the world. Thank you for sharing this with us.

Liese - sorry, I thought the dream was posted here, but I actually put it on a different thread. You can read it here:
http://psychcafe.ca/eve/forums...4689001#679004689001

Thanks, Exploring. Your "view" of all this seems much nicer than the way all of it has felt. But I'll try to picture it "your way." I like it. And you're welcome. It's been very hard to leave this posted because I feel like I'm painting myself crazy. Yet with T gone and all of this happening, I just have needed to talk about it - explore it.

This morning I am very consciously blocking any sneaky words that may try to take root in my mind.

-RT

I appreciate all the comments on this thread. This has been very distressing to me and I'm not sure what to make of it, why it is happening or where it comes from.

I'm struggling still, because I had hoped yesterday would be the end of these words, but they started up again today. And now I'm getting hives which I'm pretty sure is related to the stress of this and of T being unexpectedly gone.

I am, however, starting to look at some of the words and phrases to try to figure out what they mean. At first, I would guess a meaning and then wonder if I got it right. Then I thought - heck, this is my language - if this is what I think it means, that's what it means. I've been going through the words and coming up with some very interesting "translations" that make sense linguistically and personally.I wish I could share it with you, because you'd probably find it interesting, too. I just can't tho. It's way too close to core stuff and I can't risk exposing it. I so, so want T to come back so I can get some help with all of this.

Thanks for being here, y'all.

-RT

I'm not sure it would have occurred to me, but this approach makes sense-- writing about the words and the evoked associations, journaling about it the way you would a dream symbol. After all, words are symbols, too.

I definitely understand not wanting to share if it is close to core stuff, but hope you come back to let us know how you are doing and how this works out. I think it's very interesting and not crazy.

I am sorry it's distressing you, though, and can also totally get that! As you know, spontaneously occurring imagery of whatever kind can have a kind of insistence to it, but it's also important not to let your ego self get too overwhelmed. Sometimes you have to look at something just a little bit, take a break and then come back to it later.

Was thinking about you and all this. Hope you are well today. Hang on in there!

Hi RT,
Just catching up. How hard it must be you are experiencing these words and your T is away unexpectedly! And yes, it IS your language and you get to find out/discover/decide what it means.
Hope T will be back soon!

Words again today but not as pervasive or invasive.

RT,

"Pervasive, invasive"--you have a way with words! No wonder the sounds create there own rhythm and dance for you.

Words are beyond HUGE in my life. Like ginormous.

And, yes I do sometimes get stuck on rhyming words in my head. But that always feels playful. (I really like alliteration too. )

-RT