Ugh, no timer. That's awful. In his office closest to me, T just has a digital clock on the shelf opposite of where he sits with most people and a button that lights up when someone arrives and pushes to indicate they're ready to come in. The problem is, with me, he often sits on the floor and not facing the clock or the button. Often, he schedules our sessions such that running over is not an issue. Also, in general, he tries to wrap up cleanly, so I think all his clients know that you will get your allotted time, but might start a few minutes late. Anyway, he seems to schedule me his last session or right before his afternoon break, so we don't usually run over. However, when there is someone else coming after me, he has never run extremely late. So, I think he must find ways to check the clock or his watch. I don't look at him for extended periods very often, so it would be easy for him to do this without my noticing.

In his second office, there is no button with a light, but their outside door makes like an obnoxious 7-11 chime, so he would know when the client comes in and then, I suppose, try to wrap stuff up within five or ten minutes. There is also a little analog clock by the lamp across the room from where we usually sit.

So, ending sessions is usually nice, because he never rushes anyone, but you have to be prepared that it means he will often start late as well. It's a worthwhile trade-off from my point-of-view, but I know it would be hard to deal with if I did my appointments in the middle of a workday, for example...so, I can see it as a positive and a negative.

Hope-rising,
Love the name!
I don't believe we've met- so howdy.

My T has a clock somewhere. When I was new, I was so afraid of going over in time, and he assured me that that was his job to take care of the time...and he does. I don't usually know how long I've been there which can be the opposite problem that you have, but I've adjusted to it. Every T is different, but the most important thing is... does it work for you? If it doesn't, then speak up. If your T is unwilling to compromise, then you may have other decisions to make.
All the best to you.
Mayo

Hi hi, welcome!

My T keeps an eye on the clock toward the end. She 'll look down at it when it's about time but she'll be talking too. We were meant to finish at 12.50 today but we finished at 12.55. I get the sense that she really does try to listen and finds what I say interesting, which helps with me trusting her. I tend to look at clock intermittently to know how long more I have. I wish it didn't go so fast!

When she does say in some sessions that it's time to end, she'll say it and integrate it within what were talking about. It's quite humbling because it shows that again, she's interested in listening further but we both know the session needs to end.

Hello and Welcome,

My T has several small clocks throughout the room, so that there is at least one easily visible for both therapist and client wherever in the room you happen to be sitting. They make a gentle ticking sound that I actually find rather soothing, I don't think I'd like an annoying timer and buzzer though! I hardly ever notice my T glancing at the clock, although maybe she does so when I am not watching. I tend to glance at it rather obsessively myself.

My T is like Yakusoku's in that she is flexible with the time parameters, frequently starting late or letting me run over the allotted time a bit. I tend to be more rigid in my ideas and so many times end up closing the session myself-- by watching the clock carefully and then announcing, "Okay! Time's up.", right on the minute.

Hi Hope,

I would find those alarms to be really distruptive to my therapy. Is there any polite but assertive way to tell your T that it's just not working for you?

My T has a clock but it's far away and both of us have to squint to see it. So neither of us ever look. What he does is have his secretary knock on the door when time is up but he seems to use this as a five-minute wrapping up period. If we are done, then we finish right then. If we are still talking, he lets us go longer. I seem to have a good gauge myself as far as how far into the session we are.

If T doesn't have a secretary that can knock, can she at least set the alarm to go off once, maybe 5 minutes before the ending time? More than that would really drive me nuts.

Liese

I have some pretty severe distractions going on in my therapy, and I battle both between telling T I can't take all the noise [her phone vibrating (she apologized 2 sessions saying she thought it was off, but it has vibrated the last 6 sessions!)), two clocks ticking (why can't we just have one?), her students laughing and talking, quite loudly, in the hall/adjacent rooms, parking lot noise, the heat going on and making the windows click behind my head, her little refridgerator going on and off (can you tell I'm overly sensitive to sounds)] and learning to deal with it since I have 4 children (whose noise really triggers something in me). When my T was in her old office (other side of the waiting area, before she expanded her business), it was silent, except for one clock ticking and her little refridgerator. I have yet to talk to her about my sound-sensitivity....as I don't think in my situation she can do anything about it.

Anyway....end of session is either ended with me saying I need to go, am done talking, or her closing my folder on her lap. I often end the session myself, as I have a very good sense of time. In her first office the clock was behind my head and I never knew what time it was (very ideal for me). Now, there is a clock to my right, up on the wall, and I do look at it sometimes. I never see her look at it, though.

The very first T I went to, looked at the clock ALL the time during the session, literally, and I never went back to her after that first session.

Hope-rising, thanks for bringing up this topic. I am a little embarrassed to say what my psychologist's time keep is like as he is utterly, dreadfully, giggle making, hopeless. honest.

He runs over ALL the time. I just have given up. I explain that one and half hours is the max for me, and some sessions he starts wrapping up at that time and wrapping up takes ages. He never is assertive and stops me talking if I am talking. I brought in a clock myself (there is one on the wall but it is very high up for both of us) but that didn't work as it felt silly ME keeping the time. He then tried bringing a small clock but it interfered with my recording device and so he gave up on that. I set my wristwatch to go off at 90 minutes and he knows that is why the alarm goes off and he says 'Well, we still have more time if you need it."

I have given up. I think he schedules two hours for me and has a vague sense now and again that maybe he should try to limit me to one and half hours but he never seems to quite manage it. Basically the norm is one hour 45 minutes.

I just have to laugh. I have never met someone so hopeless at time keeping. It is of course in my favour as i like having time with him. But it is not good as a time boundary at all. If I was his supervisor I would be being stern with him about firming it up.

Also, people talk loudly outside the door. Doors bang loudly all the time. People shout up to each other up the stairs. The wall clock ticks very very loudly. police sirens go off now and again. His mobile text alert beep goes off. Sometimes the room phone goes off and he has to leave me and go and move his car as he has blocked one of the staff in. (they have to park behind each other).

This is the NHS. These are the down sides of me not having to pay for therapy with him.

Once a cleaner walked INTO the room, where I was sobbing - I shook for several minutes after that interuption. Once a woman knocked on the door and walked in, he leapt up and stopped her opening the door enough to see me ( I was pretty distraught at the time).

Actually telling you all this - makes it seem like some sort of comedy. He has no personal room, he has to book whatever is available. Once I had to sit at someone else desk and he sat at another desk, in a room that was obviously not a public room.

I guess I put up with all this - as he seems a very good therapist, and is very steady and patient and engaged with me and really working hard at helping me with what I am bringing to sessions.

quote:

I would find those alarms to be really distruptive to my therapy. Is there any polite but assertive way to tell your T that it's just not working for you?

I second this idea. It is possible that your T is clueless as to how this is affecting you and if she were informed might be willing to change things. Although it is also alarming, pun intended, if she is that clueless. This seems to be the sort of practice that would be annoying to MOST people - I hardly think you would be the first. Either she is not attuned to you or else she doesn't care. But if you haven't already expressed in very plain language to her that it is highly disturbing, I would try to make that known. If she doesn't budge...well then you will have to decide if it is disruptive enough that she isn't worth your time. I, for one, don't think I would put up with it.

My T is not a clock watcher. Only once in awhile will I catch her glancing at it. She seems to have an intuitive sense of the time, like someone else mentioned. She also is not rigid in having to end exactly on the dot. To me, that communicates that I am a person first, and a scheduled task second.

I have had to put up with hearing her vibrating cell phone. However, at least she does not answer it during my session.

Thank you all SO MUCH for responding! It really gives me confidence to say something now that I know this isn't the "norm" for timekeeping.

She doesn't have any clocks in her office just the timer. You guys mentioned cell phones, and my T's cell phone has rung a couple of times LOUD and she checks to see who is calling and has talked briefly to her child before.

Other than those things, she seems to be a very good T for me. I am making a connection with her and we are doing good work. She has been a T for almost 25 years and in private practice for 20 of those years. I think one thing is that she is in a practice where they really stay on her about being on time with her appointments. She is scheduled back to back with little to no time in between. Sometimes she works for 12 hours from 8 AM to 8 PM! She does seem to generally care and I don't feel like just another client.

Anyway, thank you for your welcomes! I will post in the introductions thread soon. In my session next week I plan to address the beeping timer issue!

I think this is a terrible means of keeping time. Very distracting and I am surprised your T has not considered how disruptive to the session this is.

hi

no alarm here for me either. i notice my T is rarely ready for me on the hour - she is usually a couple minutes late - and likewise we always go over time a few minutes.

I pay first - so that I can leave straight away.

The clock is on the wall behind me - which annoys me because I would like to know what the time is without secretly looking at my watch.... T looks up from time to time. I can tell when we are getting close to time as she starts to wrap up. When we are ready she closes her file and stands.

It all works ok for me.

LOL this is a topic dear to my heart. Ts and clocks and time keeping grrrrr.

I remember going to see a T for the first session and for the second half of the session she kept looking behind me at something on the wall. I figured it was a clock but wasn’t sure. In any case it put me off seeing her again because she was obviously more interested in what was behind me than in me. When I got up to go I had a look and it wasn’t just a clock, it was an ENORMOUS clock – anyone would have problems keeping their eyes off it if they were faced with it. The thing is, she also had another clock between her and me that both of us could see, so it was all very over the top. To me it’s a sign of a bad therapist if they constantly clock watch (so what if they’re bored, they’re being paid for their time, the least they can do is act interested and not make the client feel crap by glancing at the clock all the time.)

My current T has a battered old fashioned clock sitting on a book shelf beside my head (I can’t see it unless I turn my head) but it’s a chiming clock and I HATE it. Every session on the half hour (when I start my session) and on the hour the damn thing chimes, and as I only have 50 minute sessions, as soon as it chimes the hour I feel as if that’s it, my session is practically over, because there’s only 20 minutes left and that’s not long enough to get into anything heavy and I feel obliged to start winding down if I am into something important. Very offputting.

I’ve already had raging arguments with him about that clock (it’s usually fast and I had big problems when I started therapy with him feeling like I was being cheated of session time) and so I’m loath to start moaning about the chiming. But I might have to as it really is very disruptive.

So I can imagine Hope Rising, how disconcerting for you it is to have a beeper going off regularly throughout the session. If I were you I’d definitely talk to T about it – it is her job to keep the time but it shouldn’t be to the point where it’s disrupting a session like that. She needs to get her act together!

LL


p.s. there’s a couple of old threads about exactly this topic, I’ve put the links in because they are quite interesting and give more views on the clock issue in therapy.

Watching the Clock in Therapy


How Many Ts let YOU see the Clock Too

My T's office is in her home... So when I arrive, I go though the yard and knock on the door... It never takes her longer than a few seconds to open the door.

When I arrive, she unplugs the landline phone and turns on the timer thing on her iphone. She always turns the phone upside down on the table so she can't see the screen.

There are no clocks in the room at all, at least, none that I've ever seen.

Near the end of the session, I think it might be with 10 minutes to go... her phone makes a harp type noise. At my first session, she explained that the noise was an indication that the time was coming to a close and that it was her responsibility to manage the time - Not mine.

I was very concerned and nervous about time for the first while in our sessions - Until one day when the harp noise went off...we talked for another while and then she asked if I had anything else in my book that I had wanted to talk about. I said I did, but that it wasn't important and could wait. She told me that she had some time before her next client and we could talk about it if I wanted... and we did.
I hadn't realized the length of this 'extension' until I got in my car to leave... I emailed her later, apologizing and asking if I could pay extra for the time... She said I could if I really wanted to, but she was aware of the time during the session and it wasn't a problem for her.

Last week was the first evening session that we've had - I changed jobs and needed to temporarily change my appointment time. And she had made it clear when booking and again near the end of the session - that she didn't have the flexibility in the evening that she did during the morning. Because this was made clear, I didn't feel rushed at all.

Since her office is in her home, there have been normal background instances...but she's never let them impact our discussion, and I've never felt like she was otherwise occupied while I'm there.. It's actually kindof cool.